Birds of a Feather
by UpsidedownShortcake
Summary: As John watched his captors he couldn't help but swallow dryly. This would probably not end in his favor.  AU, slash, Karkat/John, Some other stuff. M for language and future sexual content and whatnot.  I don't even know what this is guys.
1. Chapter 1

**(FFs Doc manager always fucks up my documents, but I fixed the errors with the chat and stuff like that. :))**

**Hey guys. So. Uhm. I guess I should be updating my other stories, but my laptop is broken and the next chapters are already partially written on there. I'm using my dad's computer right now, so…I decided to let this idea out since I've had it in my head for awhile. XD**

**Basically it's a John-Is-Abducted-And-Some-Stuff-Happens AU story. Don't know if I'll continue, but I guess if you lovely readers would like me to I will…xD **

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><p>How did he get here? John rubbed his aching head, sitting up in the pitch-black room he had unceremoniously been dumped into after…something. But what? His memory was hazy, incomplete, a mere blur of upsetting events. He closed his eyes, tried to think, brushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose to prepare himself for the impending night vision.<p>

After a few moments had passed, his pupils had finally managed to accommodate the darkness and he could make out some basic shapes. Tables, chairs, a large screen of some sort and vertical stripes right in front of himself, some sort of objects hung up on the wall across from him and-

Wait. He reached his pallid fingers out- scrawny from lack of exercise and lactose- and was immediately met with the cold steel of one of the stripes. A sudden onslaught of memoriam overwhelmed his consciousness.

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><p>John's father was, of course, working late. Something John had become accustomed to. He wasn't bitter about it like most kids his age would generally be, because the loneliness was something he learned to embrace early on. He was home often due to a series of sicknesses and weaknesses he'd had since childhood. In his younger days he used to be in and out of the hospital so much that eventually his father opted to home-schooling him, however his "lessons" ended up being less than an hour a day due to his father's crowded schedule.<p>

John's only real friends were the one's he had accumulated through the internet. Namely Dave, Jade, and Rose. And so, like he did every night, he logged on to PesterChum and opened a chat with one of his best bros.

EB: hey dave whats up?

TG: not much my main man

EB: im really bored.

TG: your dad working late again

TG: i could drop some sick beats for you if you want or maybe fly to your house with my awesome rocket car or something to cheer you up

EB: you're a liar, you don't have a rocket car.

TG: wanna bet

EB: …i think so.

TG: are you willing to bet all your shitty nick cage movie posters and shit on that Egbert

TG: are you really spending even three minutes thinking about this

TG: john

TG: heeyyy

TG: john

TG: it has now been five minutes

TG: …

EB: sorry i thought i heard someone in my house.

EB: so i went to investigate.

TG: you liar you probably went and sat in your closet like a little chicken shit holding a pair of scissors at the ready…did you kill anyone

EB: no, there was no one there.

TG: good

EB: i guess

TG: i forgot what we were talking about

TG: john

TG: what in the fuck are you doing egbert

TG: youre really funny playing the fuckin damsel in distress you wont fool me into flying my rocket car over there to save you or some shit

TG: john seriously

TG: …

TG: okay dude your seriously kind of starting to scare me

TG: hahaha I got dave! tricked him! gonna go tell everyone now whatever dude i dont care but reply to me okay

EB: sorry dude i heard it agaicjkgdjkf,

EB: jvd,.m zx.,m dvskljdQKWE

EB: K

EB: 'howl/vwbdblkj/fbjbwhubbh;gweb';vewgbkj'bvwblj'

EB: eb;kgr'bljb;ugernl'

TG: …

TG: are you okay dude

ectoBiologist [EB] **ceased pestering** turntechGodhead [TG]

TG: what the shit...

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><p>John rubbed the back of his head tenderly. The throbbing eventually ceased to a point where he could somewhat remember the events. He kept hearing footsteps downstairs, but his father wasn't due for another few hours. Usually at night the lights in his house were kept off save for the glow of his computer and sometimes the sounds of the television to keep him company.<p>

He peeked downstairs, but saw no movement (or maybe he did and was in denial, he honestly didn't know) and went back to his computer to reply to his super cool friend, but something stopped him. Suddenly he felt his hair being grabbed. It felt like a giant spider wrapped it's legs around him and clung on tight, pulling. Before he could readily react, he was face to plastic with his keyboard. The action left him slightly dazed, and the next few times finally sent him into complete blackness, but not before he could hear several voices whispering to one another in irritated tones.

And now he was in a cage. He leaned his forehead against the cold bars, groaning. Where was he now and what was going to happen to him? He would probably be viciously killed and raped or something. But maybe in the reversed order. He hoped to God not.

But something hit him like a steam-drive train. He perked up at the thought, smiling. Maybe one of Nick Cage's loveable movie characters would burst into this place right when he was about to get cut open and save him!

John slapped himself, albeit it was not a hard slap, and mentally scolded. Now was not the time to be daydreaming about Nick Cage! He slapped himself again for good measure and began to think of a way he could escape this place with his life at least a little in tact. He leaned back in the cage, pushing his hand towards the ground in order to hold himself up, but was met with some sort of puddle. He pulled his hand back and cringed, smelling the strange substance that was now on his hand.

Now that was really weird. It smelled like cherry. Against his better judgment, John took a tentative lick, left in a deeper state of confusion. "This tastes like soda…" he murmured to himself, sitting up straight. He leaned over and squinted, making out the shape of…what seemed like a dog bowl.

John perked up at the sound of distant voices. He couldn't help but hold his breath and brace himself for who would walk in. It seemed like the door was taking years to open, but he could finally make out the figure of three people. The shortest reached out and flipped on a switch that automatically filled the room with blinding, fluorescent lights.

John was nearly paralyzed and he had to blink rapidly in order to restore his vision. As soon as it had been done, however, he was met with the grey face of some strange being. He screamed and backed up, clutching his heart. The matter of "where" he was suddenly became extremely irrelevant as he could tell it wasn't the Earth he knew and loved.

The grey creature- who actually appeared rather human if not for the eye and skin pigment as well as the small horns perched delicately in its black hair- cringed and backed away. "Subject is…definitely vocal," he murmured, annoyance clear on his features.

"No shit Sherlock. You're such a whimpering imbecile Karkat," The other boy seethed. There seemed to be a pinch of a lateral lisp in his speech. But what was infinitely weirder, John noted, was that they spoke his Earth English, yet the lettering that was on posters and books tossed carelessly around the room was completely different than his alphabet.

"I'm not stupid!" Karkat yelled, flailing childishly. He punched the lisping boy in the shoulder and walked beside the third boy, who was much taller than the other two and had his face painted like some sort of Juggalo.

John bit his lip as a slight smile came to his face. These…whatever they were weren't threatening at all. They all appeared to be around his age and acted just as immature as any teenager from his planet.

"Don't laugh you stupid alien! We've abducted you!" Karkat snapped, attempting to shake John's cage, forcing him to suppress more laughter.

"It's pretty damn obvious he doesn't speak our mother fuckin' language," the clown alien thing said, an airy and pleasant drawl carried in his voice.

"Of course he doesn't, Gamzee. He's like a hoof beast. Just a stupid little grub. Like an idiotic animal following its equally as idiotic counterparts of a cliff," the bi color-eyed boy said with a small hint of boredom.

"Well, Sollux, let's make some mother fuckin' miracles up in this shit," Gamzee said, cracking his knuckles excitedly.

Karkat shook his head, pulling out a clipboard. "Jack said just to do an external check-up for now. We have to wait until we know a little more about this species before beginning any experiments."

John tried to remain calm, even though "experiments" sounded extremely unpleasant to him. He clutched the bars again, watching these creatures as they moved about the white room and toggled with random buttons and switches on the many machines. Maybe if he could use acting unintelligent to his advantage, he would be underestimated and perhaps would be able to escape.

As John watched his captors he couldn't help but swallow dryly. This would probably not end in his favor.


	2. City of Angels

**EOFPE:L:FL This chapter is weird. Whatisthisidonteven-  
><strong>

**Also, I kind of forgot how the housing works in Homestuck, so for the sake of the story, everyone is Hivebent. Pun intended. ;D...Unless all of their houses ARE called Hives. But Terezi lives in a tree...  
><strong>

**ANYWAY! Remember, reviews are like air to me. If I don't get enough, I'll die. And I'm sure you don't want that. -chipper camp counselor voice-**

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><p>John leaned back in his newfound home. Or more accurately, cage. He sighed softly, sliding off his clothes. He turned on the small faucet that was perched above a John-sized bathtub. At least these creatures holding him captive knew the importance of personal hygiene.<p>

He closed his eyes, sliding into the warm water that had been dispensed from the faucet, and bit his lip. After all the external testing, which involved a lot of less-than-comfortable poking and prodding at his exposed body, John could really use something to lift his spirits and he knew just the thing.

He slid a bit deeper into the water, grabbing a bottle of Faygo (Which oddly enough was an Earth drink) left by the odd clown alien creature majig- Gamzee. He took off the top and let out another tentative sigh, sinking in to his chest, letting his chin graze the surface of the bright blue water- an odd color compared to Earth's clear water.

He took his glasses off and hung them over the faucet, closing his eyes again. And now it was perfect. He gently parted his lips, resting his elbows on the sides of the tub.

"You've got such a pretty smile," he sang lightly, tilting his head daintily to the side. "It's a shame the things you hide behind it. Let em' go. Give it up for awhile. Let'em free and we will both go find it."

He tenderly touched the Faygo bottle to his head, looking sullen, continuing the song. Never had a moment felt so right in his life.

"Step away then, from the edge. Your best friend in life is not your mirror. Back away, come back away. Come back away. Come back away." He leaned his head back again and took a swig of the carbonated drink, before resting his head against his shoulder, finishing the song shortly after.

If John knew one thing in life, it was that he was way foxier than Meg Ryan in the bathtub. But maybe that was just kind of an exaggeration. Well it relieved some of the day's stress at least. Some good old City of Angels roleplaying, and a nice Jude song.

Suddenly he felt very silly. He threw the Faygo and sat up straight, well with a slight slump. What was he doing playing out scenes from Nicholas Cage movies! He had recon to be doing! Well...it was hard to do recon in a small cage, but maybe he could find something, anything, that would help him escape. But he supposed a little more bath time wouldn't hurt. He sank back down, leaning on his hand with a sigh.

John wished he could at least let Dave know he wasn't dead. Not okay, but not dead. Maybe if he could get to one of those machines that looked sort of like computer, he _could _perhaps send him an email or _something. _

"I know why the caged bird sings," John recited lazily, his neck craning over the side of the tub, eyes closed once again.

"Why?"

John quirked his brows. Was someone in the room, or was he already starting to go crazy? He opened his eyes, met with similar dim yellow and violet ones. He let out a shriek, moving to the other side of the tub and covering himself up with his small hands.

"What the Heck!" he cried, getting the previous "violated" feeling again.

"What's a bird?" the creature asked again, rolling his wheelchair forward a bit. And yes, that was a wheelchair. A human. Fricking. Wheelchair. There was too many coincidences for this to be...a coincidence.

John watched the creature carefully, but his childish eyes and pleasant smile sent off a vibe that read no threat.

"No one can know I can speak, got it?" John growled, trying to sound intimidating.

"Okay," the creature said folding his hands together happily enough. "But will you talk to me at least?"

"I probably shouldn't," John murmured, sinking back in the tub to hide his nakedness.

"Uhh...wow. Okay," the thing said, looking at it's paralyzed lap dejectedly. John grimaced. This poor thing was so pathetic, he kind of felt like giving in.

"Well...uh. Fine, but if you tell anyone...I'll use my gypsy voodoo to melt your brain. And you'll die. Got it?" He couldn't believe he'd actually given in so easily to one of his captors. Nicholas Cage would be ashamed.

"I'm Tavros..." The way Tavros said this, however, was extremely amusing. His eyes were unnaturally wide. Fright was written all over his face, and he backed up against his chair a bit. He hesitantly extended his hand while staying as far away as he could.

John rose an eyebrow, smiling slightly before shaking it. Perhaps he could manipulate the others through this gullible boy, and maybe find out some information as well. "John. So...what's your race called?" he started, acting bored. Superior. Maybe he could send some fear into the other by acting like he was just waiting...for something? Rescue maybe. Like he was just relaxing on a fantastic vacation.

"Oh...uh. Well our planet is Alternia! And...uh...we're trolls." Tavros smiled widely, rather proud of himself, it seemed.

"Right. What am I doing here, anyway?" John inquired, acting very suave in his opinion. It was a nice change from his usual goofiness.

Tavros shrugged. "I just do whatever Karkat tells me. Or Vriska. Or Gamzee...Or Equius...or- "

"Okay, okay. I get it. You're low on the totem pole of trolls," John sighed and sank into the water some more. "This is stupid. I'm getting nowhere. Can you just let me go or something? I have important stuff to do. I have a family and friends, and I really really don't want to die. Not like this," he murmured with no real conviction.

Tavos opened his mouth to reply, put just then the door to the "lab", John assumed, opened and Gamzee stepped inside, turning on the lights and flooding the room with annoying brightness.

"What the mother fuck are you doing in here, Tavros?" Gamzee asked curiously, walking over to him.

"I was just watching the test subject!" Tavros chirped. "I named him John."

Gamzee bent over to peer into the cage, watching John with heavy eyes. "Mhm. Motherfuckin' weird ass name, my brother, but whatever floats yer boat, I s'pose." He stood up straight, putting his hands in the white lab coat all the trolls seemed to wear inside the room, save for Tavros. John assumed it must have been too much of a hassle with his condition.

Tavros smiled at Gamzee, blushing a tan color which struck John as pretty odd, but it was only natural from a different species, he supposed.

John tilted his head slightly. The two trolls stared at each other for a long, long, long time. And then they stared some more. And finally it became less curious and more annoying, though things didn't usually bother John, he supposed being abducted could grind one's nerves more than usual.

Finally the messy haired troll smiled mischievously and he reached out, perching one hand on the disabled boy's horns and leaning in to kiss him.

John jerked up in the tub, grabbing the edges in shock. He didn't know how "mating" worked on this planet, but it obviously wasn't as exclusive on this planet.

Tavros' hand shot out and he grabbed Gamzee's shirt, pushing him away, blushing harder. He turned his head, biting his lip with his fang-like teeth. "C-C'mon Gamzee. Don't...uh...you know...grab my horns," he whispered. "That's inappropriate here."

Gamzee looked like he would be irritated if he didn't have a permanent carefree look about him, but instead he straddled Tavros with his arms, moving in closer. "Why the mother fuck not? It's fine. Everyone's gone back to their hives." He let another savvy smile cause Tavros to blush.

"I-I know...but...uh..." Tavros looked over at John who was staring unabashedly by now.

"He doesn't know what the mother fuck is up. Let's make some miracles bro. Like...I don't even know. We're pretty damn lucky to be alive n' stuff. We should live life to the motherfuckin' fullest." As Gamzee gave this...very random speech, his hand was once again resting on the boy's horn, causing him to squirm to the best of his abilities.

Tavros let out a small noise of defeat. He grabbed Gamzee's arm, tilting his head into the touch. His other hand reached up to cradle the back of Gamzee's neck and his expression softened, a small mewl escaping his lips. But finally he shook himself free and shook his head. "U-Uhm...wow...this is kind of...we shouldn't be doing this here," he murmured, looking down in embarrassment.

John had to watch. It was for Science! To learn how these "Trolls" worked and use their weaknesses against them. The horns they all had were some sort of erogenous zone, it seemed.

Gamzee smiled slightly, nodding. "Fine, fine. Let's go back to your hive, then. We can watch Troll Winx Club together and I'll make us some pastries."

Tavros' eyes lit up and he twisted to look at Gamzee who was pushing him towards the exit. (A ramp was built to accommodate him since the door to leave was place on an arch of double sided stairs.

John sat back in the tub (now lukewarm). He tapped his fingers against the side of the tub, not really sure what to think.

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><p><strong>...OTL I'm so sorry for this. <strong>


	3. Miracles Everywhere

****Three updates in a row? I spoil you little lambs so much :) **Things about to get cuh-razee. Bringin' Karkat all up in this shiznit. Hellz to the mother fuckin' yeah with some mother fuckin miracles sprinkled on top mother fucker.  
><strong>

**...-Cough- Well. Anyway. **

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><p>Karkat sat at his laptop, typing away his reports for the day. The subject was acting rather obedient through the whole process, which led Karkat to believe he was just as stupid as he looked. He stopped typing for a moment as a thought crept up on him. He leaned back against his rolling office chair and steepled his fingers, concentrating on the screen.<p>

The subject- who _someone _had let Tavros name "John"- had bright and intelligent blue eyes. There was no confusion. It seemed he did know exactly what was going on. As Karkat had been examining him he noticed there was also a hint of hatred in his eyes. It didn't particularly bother the troll, hatred was a common emotion on his planet. Hatred and pity.

He rubbed his temple slightly, rolling a scalpel between his fingers with his free hand. He couldn't say he'd had a real problem with cutting open another species before, though usually the aliens didn't look so Alternian. The only difference was his weird eye and skin pigment. His lack of horns and pointed ears.

Karkat cringed. He was kind of attractive in a really ugly way. Like when you see a miniature wolfbeast and you can't help but want to coddle it. He bit his lip and set the scalpel down, turning to face the cage where the strange creature was just sitting, dressed in a pair of clothes Karkat himself was forced to lend, thanks to his disrespect towards Jack. He didn't really do anything. Just look at him a bit funny when he suggested keeping the creature alive.

And Karkat was Jack's favorite. He was almost never punished by him thanks to their similarity in blood color. It used to be an odd color on Alternia, one that other trolls would be disgusted by, but now it was a sign of superiority. He was considered a higher blood than Gamzee, Eridan, and Feferi combined. The boy smirked at the thought, although a frown soon replaced it. Having the highest blood of his...colleagues, so to speak, was more of a burden than a blessing.

They all hated him. At least he was pretty sure they did. They acted a lot like it, at least. He saved the report to his hard drive and exited out of it, rolling out his neck. He picked up a small vile and twirled his scalpel expertly. "Alrighty 'John', time for a blood sample," he said with only a hint of monotony. It was just boring standard stuff.

He hummed as he opened the cage and helped John onto one of the testing tables. The creature had learned before that if he ran, pain would come. Equius was the one to teach him that lesson, unfortunately. Karkat couldn't help but feel pitiful for the poor stupid creature. He had no idea what was going on, no doubt.

The troll shrugged it off and held out John's wrist, making a small slit with the scalpel. He wondered what kind of blood this creature had. Orange like Tavros? Maroon like Aradia? Maybe even yellow like Sollux. Karkat scoffed. Such a lowly creature would never have blood that matched even Aradia's-

The creature squirmed slightly at the slight pain driven from the scalpel's cut. Karkat held John's wrist tight, staring in disbelief. He almost missed getting the blood into the vile, was how shocked he was.

That was red. It wasn't Maroon like Aradia. It wasn't orange like Tavros or even Tyrian Purple like Feferi. It was bright red. Karkat slowly looked up at John, his mouth agape and nerves shocked. The creature stared back. Astern, judgmental look on his features. He pulled back as if he'd been burned, dropping the vile in the process.

"Shit..." he whispered, grabbing some gauze and wiping the blood from the floor and then going to stop the blood that was steadily flowing from John's arm.

At the sound of footsteps, Karkat looked up. His eyes were nearly the size of dinner plates, and he wrapped John's arm with a sheet of gauze, bandaging it almost comically much. He shoved him back into his cage, not without earning an irritated growl, and went back to his laptop.

What would Jack do if he found out the creature's blood was like theirs? Not to mention he was exotic, and Jack liked things that were different. Perhaps it was because of his own difference from the trolls. Karkat chewed on his thumb nervously. He would surely be pushed away by Jack, whom he only wanted respect and admiration from.

"Karkat!"

Karkat shrieked, clutching his heart. He hadn't even heard Gamzee enter the room, let alone end up right beside him. "Holy fucking shit, do that again and I'll fucking stab you!" he growled, punching Gamzee in the leg.

"Hey!" Tavros cried. "Don't, uh...be mean to Gamzee, okay? He's just trying to cheer you up cus...uh...you're such a sourpuss all the time," he murmured, fiddling with the bottom of his shirt.

Karkat looked at Tavros disdainfully before looking away and rolling his eyes. "Whatever. What do you idiots want?" he asked.

Gamzee grinned. "Tav here wants to teach John how to talk."

John perked up and made a small clatter, drawing the attention of the three trolls. He glared at Tavros, who tensed and sank down in his wheelchair.

"I mean...maybe we shouldn't. He probably won't be able to talk at all, and uhm...I dunno he's probably pretty stupid if he can't already talk," Tavros murmured.

Karkat rubbed his chin in thought, nodding slightly. "Fine. I like this idea. Good. Maybe thanks to our extremely amazing intelligence, he can learn how to use that puny brain of his and tell us more about our planet. His X-Rays showed vocal chords that are pretty similar to ours."

Gamzee patted Tavros on the head, smiling at him in congratulations for his good idea. Tavros was mostly kept around the lab for "comic relief" as Vriska had put it.

Tavros peeked over his shoulder at the glaring creature, his cheeks turning a burnt orange. Would he really be able to get John to talk? He'd probably get thrown down the stairs if he couldn't do it.

...again.

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><p><strong>OKAY I HAVE TO END IT HERE BECAUSE I AM OVERWHELMED WITH WHAT I JUST READ ON HOMESTUCK ABOUT MY FUCKING OTP THAT I NEVER IMAGINED POSSIBLE. -Slams head against desk and cries from eternal happiness-<strong>

**DEAR LORD HUSSIE YOU GOD. YOU BEAUTIFUL, BEAUTIFUL MAN.**


	4. Stop

**Update update update~**

**Well I have something especially for all you lovely fans! It's Birds of a Feather; the Cover! You can find that on my profile page under "fanart". **

**Also I'll be uploading more HS fanart and maybe even some ficlets to my new tumblrrr which you can also find on my profile. **  
>shameless self promotion :B

**ON WITH THE STORY. I hope it was worth the wait! **

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><p>Tavros held a card up for john to look at. On the picture was a horse and some strange looking symbols, that John assume read "Horse" in their alphabet. "U-uhm...this is a hoofbeast, okay? Hooooofffbeasst." He shoved the card a little bit closer and John took it, ripping it in half and throwing it out of his cage. He glared at Tavros and turned around.<p>

He knew it was silly to feel betrayed by one of his captors, but he thought they'd made somewhat of a connection. Tavros was the runt of the trolls he'd met so far. Everyone saw him as a joke. Now John loved a good joke, but he hated being thought of as a joke, and he was positive Tavros did too.

Karkat silently marked something on a clipboard, tapping his pen against the board for a moment before he looked up. "Well this is getting us absolutely nowhere."

"His attitude is almost as bad as yours, Karkat," a girl snorted, skipping the stairs and jumping from the doorway to the floor. John turned to look at her, marveling at the interesting shape of her horns and the strange markings on one of her eyes.

"Shut the fuck up Vriska," Karkat growled at her, moving away when she approached him.

Vriska easily caught up (being a good several inches taller than him) and clutched his hair, shaking his head condescendingly. "Oh, you're such an angry little grub, aren't you?" she cooed, shoving him away.

"I said to never touch me!" Karkat snapped, ready to lunge at her, but decided against it. "Don't ever touch me again," he added as an afterthought.

Vriska reached out and poked him in the shoulder, causing him to scream in frustration and throw his clipboard down before storming out, Vriska chasing eagerly after him.

Tavros only watched, a hurt expression on his face. He looked like a child that had just witnessed its parents fighting.

John made sure no one else was around before he smashed his face in between two of the bars. "I thought I told you I'd melt your brain if you told," he murmured.

Tavros slowly looked at John, laughing weakly. "Well...uh...I mean...it was kind of an accident. I'm sorry."

John sighed and leaned back, sipping some of the Faygo from his "water" bowl. Today's flavor was grape. He liked grape, but what he really craved after a week of nothing but soda was some water. "Can you tell your comrades to give me water or something?" he sighed. "My belly is starting to ache...and protrude." John lifted up his shirt and poked at his slightly chubby tummy.

Tavros tilted his head. "Uh...sure."

John sighed and leaned his forehead against the cage, frowning. "You're kind of boring to talk to."

"Oh yeah...Vriska tells me that a lot. Uhm...I'm trying to fix it, okay?" Tavros asked, fiddling with his fingers.

John looked away, unable to feel any resentment towards the pathetic troll. Suddenly something caught his eyes. It was the laptop Karkat had used to write down his report. He looked at Tavros and smiled slightly. "Hey, Tavros, do you think I could use that laptop over there real quick. I just need to tell my friend I'm okay."

"Uh...I don't think I can do that...Karkat'll probably be real sore at me," Tavros murmured, receding into his shell a bit.

"Oh! No, no, it's okay. I'm just going to tell my friend Dave that I'm all right, all right?" John reassured, smiling at Tavros.

Tavros was trying not to be too easily swayed by John's conman smile, but it was just too much for him to handle! He seemed so nice, and it was a little rude that they just suddenly abducted him without asking. "But...you might try to get this Dave human to come and rescue you. And then I'll get into a lot of trouble..."

"On my planet, we're not even aware of life on other planets, let alone how to get there without it taking millions of years. It'll be fine. If you let me do this...I'll...I don't know, have a break through so your colleagues will like you more and think your smart for teaching me how to talk," John weedled, gesturing to Tavros through the cage.

"I don't know..." Tavros murmured. "Karkat will, probably, uh, take all the credit..."

"I'll only respond to you. You'll get all the credit from your Master, or Boss, or whoever the hell you're working under," John promised. Suddenly his tough guy facade broke a bit and his eyes became more desperate. "Please just let me tell my friend I'm okay."

Tavros thought for a moment. He sighed and rolled himself over to the lab table, hesitating for a moment before he grabbed the laptop. He was quick to open the cage and shove it inside for the human to use, but careful to not break or mark it in any way.

John didn't recognize any of the letters on the keyboard, but thankfully there were English alphabet translations right in the top corner of the Alternian alphabet keys. Why was beyond him, but now was not the time for complaints and ponderings! He opened up the internet and easily downloaded the Pesterchum application.

Troll internet was way faster than the internet he had back at home, and he could even access site from earth! It appealed to his nerdy side and he was getting a little overexcited. He had a bit of trouble getting used to typing, but eventually it worked out.

ectoBiologist [EB] **began pestering **turntechGodhead [TG]

EB: davveeee!

TG: OH MY GOD JOHN WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE

EB: heh...

TG: IM SERIOUS YOU LITTLE SHIT

EB: no, it's just ive never seen you type so passionately before

TG: well dont get used to it

TG: seriously what happened to you bro you just freak out about someone being in your house and disappear all of a sudden

TG: ...are you still a virgin

EB: what, of course i am! jeez

EB: but seriously i've been abducted by trolls and am now on their planet swindling the weakest of their kind to let me use this computer

EB: oh and they speak english too

TG: …

TG: youre a fucking asshole egbert ive been worried sick and this was all a joke

TG: what youd do for a good laugh eh well im not laughing

EB: i'm serious dave.

TG: your a liar cant believe youd go this far dude

TG: im severly ashamed

EB: ugh! im really serious right now dave! i'm scared and have no idea what to do right now...

TG: and you say your with this alien troll thing right now that abducted you

EB: yeah, but he's kind of nice...i feel bad being mean to him, but I must escape!

TG: right

TG: take a webcam picture

EB: uhm...wow...what...i don't think I can do that on here.

TG: well figure it out because i still refuse to believe you

John sighed in exasperation and looked at Tavros who was looking around the lab kind of absently. He had to respect that the troll wasn't looking over his shoulder monitoring him like he had the right to. John opened up the webcam in pesterchum and scooted over a bit so Tavros was in the shot in the background.

He turned the application on, turning the volume all the way down so Dave's ass couldn't be heard as it was handed to him on a silver platter. John laughed a bit at his own mental comment. Cool guy success.

He glared as Dave's image popped up on the other screen and he gestured to the side where Tavros was beginning to...fall asleep it looked like. He was like a child on a long car ride for vacation. Too excited to lay down and sleep, but too tired to stay awake.

Dave's shocked expression and lost cool-guy composure was made even funnier by the lack of sounds. He hit his computer screen repeatedly, poking what John assumed was where Tavros' image appeared on his computer. He looked so uncool right now. John smile triumphantly, happy now that he got to see his friend again. It was rather comforting.

Dave seemed to get his bearings back about him and his usual pokerface returned. He squared up with his computer, fixed his glasses and began typing.

TG: okay i believe you egbert

TG: did they probe you yet

TG: have you met any hot alien chicks

EB: one...but i wouldn't say hott, she was scary!

TG: god egbert youre such a loser you have the opportunity to get some sweet alien tail dont give it up bro do me proud

EB: THIS IS SERIOUS DAVE I NEED TO ESCAPE.

TG: fine god well try to keep in touch okay

TG: I may look super calm due to my devilishly handsome good looks but on the inside im feeling for you bro be safe

EB: yeah, i will. i've found out a lot about them already. hatching my amazing plot of escape as we speak.

TG: have they done any...you know...experimenting

EB: the leader-y guy cut my arm and freaked out when he saw my blood. i don't know why but thats pretty much it. oh and i'm in a huge cage where they've fed me nothing but these strange yet delicious green pies and faygo.

TG: ...that juggalo brand soda

EB: yeah. and i witnessed gay alien molestation right in front of my eyes.

TG: ….

EB: yeah that's been my life so far.

TG: …...

EB: tell jade and rose im okay and call my dad for me and tell him im okay, okay?

TG: oh shit mr egbert is probably worried sick

EB: yeah

TG: probably called the cops and all that shit holy fuck

TG: oh my god theyre gonna think i killed you "yeah mr egbert and cops he was abducted by gay aliens that speak english and drink soda hes okay though so you dont have to worry about anything"

EB: true...i don't know dave think of something! i have to go because i can hear karkat and he sounds pissed off as usual. god he needs to get laid or something.

TG: wait whos karkat

TG: john you better come back or im gonna kill you

ectoBiologist [EB] **ceased pestering **turntechGodhead [TG]

John slid the closed laptop through the bars and gave it to Tavros who was still a bit dinged out of his mind. He took it and held it in his lap, still dozing.

Karkat burst into the room, storming down to Tavros and taking the laptop. "You fucking piece of shit! What have I told you idiots about touching my things!" he seethed, startling Tavros.

Karkat slammed his laptop back to where it had been before Tavros moved it and strode back over. "How many times will it take for what I say to get through your thick stupid bulge!" he snapped, continuing to yell obscenities at the poor crippled troll who just stared in confusion and fear. The poor guy was even trembling!

John couldn't take it, especially not when it was his fault to begin with. He sat up on his knees and grabbed on the bars of his cage, glaring hard at the scolding troll. "Karkat," he growled.

The atmosphere in the room suddenly became infinitely denser. Karkat's eyes looked less intense and he took a deep breath, turning to look at John.

John stared back at him, keeping his gaze hard and relentless. "Stop."


	5. A Fucking Wonderful Kismesis

**Longer update than usual. }:D **

**Uhm...man my vision is blurring in and out right now. I'm having trouble ending this chapter, so I'm sorry if it gets kind of...blegh at the end. -Falls over-**

**Also I'm super late on the 4chords bandwagon, but I LOVE IT. That is all. Wait. -Dances- Okay, now I'm done. Going to sleep. American Dad is on. I fucking love that show. STOP TYPING. OH MY GOD I CAN'T STOP. WHAT IS THIS. I NEED TO SLEEP. -Throws self off bed-**

**WITHOUT FURTHER INSANITY: **

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><p>John kept his glare hard, but of course Karkat's own easily trumped his, especially with the added aura he gave off. It was a bit intimidating, but John refused to break. Karkat pointed at John, turning his head to look at Tavros.<p>

"You taught him this?" he asked almost ominously.

Tavros sank into his chair a bit, unsure of what to do. He looked down and fiddled with the hem of his shirt, nibbling his bottom lip as he searched for the answer. "Uh...y-yes...it was me."

Karkat's face twitched only slightly, but otherwise he remained still. Moments went by until he finally seemed to calm down a bit. He grabbed his clip board and jotted something down before tucking it under his arm.

He made his way to the stairs, but suddenly froze at the bottom. It was obvious he was debating something in his mind, but the curiosity John had was short lived. Karkat turned his head a bit to the side and cleared his throat. "Oh...Tavros?"

Tavros perked up a little in his seat, swallowing nervously. "Y-Yes?"

"Uhm..." Karkat scratched the back of his head, returning his gaze forward. "Good job." He closed his eyes to keep a bit of his pride and started back up the stairs, leaving the troll and the human alone.

John smiled and looked at Tavros. He was going to congratulate him on not getting into trouble, but the expression on the troll's face stopped him. It was subtle, but his small smile and silent contemplation spoke volumes. The poor guy had probably never been praised in his life, so John left him to his thoughts.

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><p>"How intriguing."<p>

"This is rather exciting."

"Kanaya...Equius...don't get too close or you might make him mad," Tavros murmured, fidgeting a bit. But of course, he was ignored, and they continued to curiously examine John.

"Why is it wearing Karkat's clothes?" Equius asked, picking at the black shirt with Karkat's insignia.

"Well...because his clothes, uh, you know...got dirty," Tavros murmured, scratching the back of his head. "So Jack made Karkat lend his clothes."

Equius sneered a bit at the human, standing straight again. "This all seems so very unchaste. Karkat and his obsession with this creature."

"Karkat's not obsessed I think," Tavros murmured. "He's just doing what Jack tells him to."

"Don't defend him," Equius snorted, crossing his arms. "This thing is all he ever talks about. He's in the lab every day for several hours at a time-"

Kanaya interrupted Equius with a slight clearing of her throat. "I'm going to have to agree with Equius on this one, Tavros, Karkat has been rather obsessive. It seems he's contracted a bit of a Xenos complex."

Tavros tilted his head. "Xenu-what?"

"Xenos-" Kanaya corrected. "It's Latin for stranger, or alien."

"Oh...well maybe he's just got more pressure on him because Jack likes him the best?" Tavros suggested helpfully, smiling a bit.

Equius dabbed at his sweaty forehead with a fresh towel, getting a bit frustrated with the crippled troll. "That pathetic low-blood doesn't know the meaning of pressure," he growled.

"Well actually he's a higher-blood than you now, Equius," Tavros said quietly, almost too quietly to be heard.

"Silence, mudblood!" Equius barked, wiping more sweat away.

The three trolls turned at the sound of John's laughter. It had been an honest mistake, but who wouldn't think of Harry Potter at that moment? The intrigue that was suddenly sparked died easily when a fourth troll entered the room.

"Yo, mother fucker's need to fuckin chill," Gamzee said coolly, leisurely making his way down the stairs. He put his hands on Tavros' shoulders and rested his chin in the troll's fluffy hair.

Equius visibly tensed, backing away a little with something that could almost be considered a bow. "F-Forgive me, Gamzee."

"You should be apologizing to my little bro here," Gamzee corrected, pointing down to Tavros who was flushing somewhat of a burnt sienna color.

"Uhh, wow, that's all right," Tavros said hurriedly. "Maybe I should stop talking so much? I don't know..." he laughed nervously.

"I'm sorry Tavros," Equius said formally. "Thank you for the order, Gamzee."

"That's fuckin' better. Now we're all friends. Just like a fuckin' miracle," Gamzee chuckled, pressing his face more firmly into Tavros' Mohawk.

Kanaya chuckled lightly. "Is this a new found Matespritship I see?" she asked. "No wonder you didn't return Vriska's advances, Tavros."

Tavros flushed even more, looking a bit lightheaded from all this sudden attention. "No! I mean, uh, I just, I couldn't...I...uh..."

"You motherfuckin' know this is a Matespritship we got goin' on. It's like...a motherfuckin' miracle," Gamzee sighed dreamily, tilting his head a bit.

"Did you know Karkat believes he's his own Kismesis?" Equius asked with disbelief. "I'm starting to believe he hates himself more than Sollux does."

"As much as I hate to admit it, he has been rather down lately," Kanaya sighed. "...more down than usual."

Tavros nodded. "But maybe he'll get a little better if John will learn how to talk?"

"That's a motherfuckin' brilliant idea, Tav. Like...fuckin' mind blown over here lil' bro," Gamzee marveled, looking down at him.

Tavros looked back up and smiled before Gamzee pecked him on the lips, an airy chuckle falling from his painted mouth.

Equius looked away in disgust, sticking his tongue out. "Save those vulgar inter-blood sentiments for a more private setting," he murmured.

Gamzee merely smiled while Tavros looked at his fidgeting fingers nervously.

John smiled slightly as he watched the trolls interact. They were funny, if not a bit strange with all this talk about mating and whatnot. He leaned on his elbows a bit, letting out a contented sigh.

"Ahem."

The five occupants looked up at the loud sound that came from atop the stairs. Karkat shifted his clipboard a bit and slowly descended, glaring at them all. "If you four spent half as much time working as you did gossiping, perhaps I wouldn't be here all day every day covering your asses," he sneered.

Equius dabbed his face with the now damp towel repeatedly, a tremor in his voice as he spoke. "I-I'm terribly sorry Karkat. It's just been a very rough couple of weeks with Jack and all-"

"Shut the fuck up Equius. Your lips must be sore from kissing my ass every chance you get," Karkat hissed, whipping around to turn on his laptop. "All of you, leave-"

Gamzee grabbed the handlebars of Tavros' wheelchair and turned him, but Karkat's next command stopped him.

"Leave Tavros."

Tavros looked up at Gamzee worriedly, but Gamzee wasn't in much of a position of power over Karkat. He sighed slightly and kissed Tavros' forehead, grinning. "Well don't motherfuckin' keep him too long," he said. "Meet at my hive tonight lil' bro." The painted troll nudged the cripple before slowly leaving, as if afraid to leave him to Karkat's devices.

"Uh...what do you need me for?" Tavros murmured, pressing his thumbs together to distract himselfr from his nervousness.

"Oh. I was just wondering-" Karkat paused for a moment as he finished typing, and closed his laptop. He turned around and narrowed his eyes. "What you're keeping from me about 'John'."

Both John and Tavros perked up at the assumption, nervousness radiating twofold in the room now that John was feeling the pressure as well as Tavros.

"Uh, what are you, talking about?" Tavros looked down and sunk down in his chair a bit. "Everything I know about him you know too..."

"Well, yes. It should be that way, shouldn't it?" Karkat chuckle darkly, circling around Tavros like a hungry shark. "But I don't think it isssss." He leaned in a bit, raising his eyebrows. "Is it?"

Tavros tried to wheel himself back a bit, but Karkat stopped him. "U-Uh...I, I only know, what you know, like I said..."

"So I suppose it was you who downloaded this human application "Pesterchum" on my laptop?" Karkat asked pseudo-sweetly.

Tavros' heart was beating rapidly in his chest. Karkat normally displayed his personality through anger, so it had become less effective as a scare-tactic. But this serious, calm Karkat was how Tavros knew there was no way out of the situation.

"U-Uh, I don't, uh, know...what that is," Tavros replied meekly, leaning back as far as he could in his chair.

"And I'm going to have to assume that you took on the persona of John and typed perfect dialogue in reply to this human male...Dave?" Karkat pressed on.

John knew they were caught, but speaking up now after staying virtually silent for more than a week felt...strange. But he closed his eyes and braced himself. "I told him if he told you, I'd melt his brain. Don't blame him," he murmured.

Karkat turned, clapping his hands together once. "How fucking lovely! The fuckass human speaks the fuck up!" he yelled, throwing his arms into the air. "Tavros, if you ever fucking try to pull that shady shit again, I'll report it to Jack...but quite frankly Gamzee terrifies me, so for now fucking get out of my sight."

Tavros shot John an apologetic look and hastily left. He felt a little better about leaving now that Karkat had reverted back to his usual self.

Karkat pressed his hands against the edge of the table John's cage was perched on and leaned in close. "I think this is the start of a fucking wonderful Kismesis."


	6. Preperations

**I'm sorry if this chapter isn't stupendous or anything! But I still hope you like it! Also sorry that all the chapters are so short, but it's easier for me to process everything in shorter parts than in 4000 words chapters. Thank you again to everyone who's been reading! I've been getting amazing feedback on both FF and deviantART and I just love reading your comments and reviews anddd...ughhhkrjfdkjfl...I'm sorry for gushing! On with the story! **

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><p><em>Your name is John Egbert. You've been keeping an internal Captain's Log of sorts for the last week or so, but you're slowly beginning to realize how pointless the endeavor was because there is no way you'd remember everything you've been thinking in the last week. Or even the last hour, for that matter. Despite that, however, it has been keeping you from going crazy during your time on Alternia. <em>

_Some things you've noticed is that although Karkat was pissed off about you not telling him you can speak in perfect English (Or Alternian?) it seems like he hasn't told anyone else that you can, in fact, talk. Either that or they just weren't interested. Another thing was that he wasn't as angry as he usually was, and you can't help but be curious._

John watched Karkat, submerged in a state of complete and utter boredom as he smashed his cheeks between two cold bars. He looked rather comical to anyone who might be watching, but much to his displeasure the labs had been pretty bare the last few days. Even Tavros who generally visited often was missing in action.

But of course, Karkat was ever present almost every hour of the day. John was almost positive he liked it better when Karkat was pissed off and cussing all the time. This silence was almost completely unbearable.

"Hey."

Karkat looked up from his computer, sneering at John. "What on Alternia could you possibly want? I already fed you, gave you water and took you to use the bathroom."

"Well I'm bored," John said bluntly. "Can't you have the big horned troll come and play with me?"

"Tavros is at his hive," Karkat replied, succinct and uninterested in nature. He looked back to his computer and entered some of the reflex tests he'd preformed on John. "He won't be back for another few days. No one will other than me and Jack, but Jack doesn't really make himself too known."

John frowned and let out an exasperated sigh. "Why?"

Karkat slammed his laptop shut and quickly swiveled around in his chair. "Because I fucking said so, that's why!" he snapped. "Now shut the fuck up, you're giving me a fucking migraine!"

John slid down in his cage, letting out an annoyed sound. Maybe silent Karkat was better than angry Karkat. "At least tell me why, okay? And then I'll stop bothering you."

Karkat leaned back on his chair, forming a steeple with his fingers. "Obviously the day after tomorrow is 13th Perigees Eve. I convinced Jack to give everyone a few days off before and after wards in order to prepare and then calm down. Before you think I did it out of niceness, I'm only thinking of how the Holidays affect their work ethic."

John tilted his head. "What is that?"

Karkat growled and turned back to his computer, shutting it down. "You humans are ridiculously stupid. Perigee's Eve is the Alternian equivalent to human Christmas."

John's eyes widened and he perked up, eyes glittering like a child on...well, Christmas. "I love Christmas! My friend Jade loves Christmas more than me though, I think...she really really loves it and sends me and Dave and Rose presents every year! I got another bunny this year, I have almost an entire closet full. Aw man...I really miss him," he blabbered before letting out a small, sad sigh.

Karkat rolled his eyes. "Fuckass."

"So what do you do for this Holiday?" John asked curiously, crossing his legs as he scooted more towards the edge of his cage.

Karkat gathered some books and files together, reading them carefully as he decided what work he'd need to take back to his hive. "Nothing."

John tilted his head. "But...how can it be a Holiday if you don't even do anything?"

"The others celebrate by decorating their hive with their Lusus. Their Lusus will also bring back a Behemoth Leaving to decorate. Like those shitty Christmas trees you humans dress up," Karkat murmured bitterly.

"Well why don't you do anything like that?" John inquired, dropping his hands to his lap. He could feel the atmosphere becoming more suffocating with every moment that passed, until Karkat finally exploded.

"Because I'm a fucking orphan!" He nearly screamed. "My Lusus is fucking dead and no one fucking likes me so I'm never fucking invited to anyone's fucking hive! Fuck, don't you ever shut up you fucking...fuck ass!"

John reeled back a bit, furrowing his brows. "Uhm...what is a Lusus?" he asked quietly.

Karkat threw his files and books onto the floor without much thought, nearly lunging at John's cage. He grabbed the bars and began to rattle the large cage the best he could, his anger noticeably increasing his strength. "You fucking damn stupid fuckass! You fucking...fucking..."

John watched as Karkat's head slowly dropped, his small body beginning to tremble. He couldn't help but wonder if the troll was going to try and scare him by abruptly jumping up again, but something told him that wasn't the case.

Karkat squeezed the bars he was gripping, his knuckles beginning to turn off-white. His shoulders were shaking and John could have sworn he'd heard sniffling and some sharp inhales.

A few moments passed and Karkat's sobs became more apparent until it seemed that he just couldn't hold them in anymore.

John could only watch as he collected his thoughts. What was this feeling? He knew there was a word for it; Something psychology-y. He'd seen a documentary about a woman that had been kidnapped by terrorists in Afghanistan and she developed some sort of mental thing. Stockholm's Syndrome. He was pretty sure that's what it was called.

But whatever it was, he couldn't help but feel sad for Karkat. It wasn't the first time John had noticed the suffering and needing in his eyes.

He was torn. Should he try and comfort the troll, or let him suffer? He was the leader of the trolls that had kidnapped him. But there was an even higher up than Karkat; The Jack fellow that John had heard about.

John bit his lip. "Karkat..." he murmured. The troll didn't reply.

John scooted closer to the bars, sticking his scrawny hand through. He let his fingers slide through the soft follicles of Karkat's hair. The troll didn't really seem to notice until John accidentally rubbed his thumb over his small nub of a horn.

Karkat jumped and his shoulders nearly shrugged to his ears. His eyes became half lidded, and his head slightly rubbed into John's hand. It made John think of a needy kitten.

A sudden chill visibly ran up the troll's spine that shook his whole body and he grabbed onto John's collar, pulling him close with a half growling, half moaning noise. "Don't you ever...fucking do that again, human," he hissed through shallow breaths, pushing the surprised boy away. "And don't you look at me with those fucking pitiful eyes."

John absently played with the bottom of his pants. He wasn't as terrified as he should have been; It was because of those eyes that flashed a novel- no, volumes of emotions. The eyes that had always held contempt and hatred, for only a moment, converted to surprise, pleasure, fear, and a plethora more.

Karkat silently bent down to pick up his things. As he gathered the last of the large pile of information into his arms, something seemed to stop him. He let out a small sigh and his tensed shoulders dropped.

John watched Karkat approach him, although the other couldn't even look at him a little bit. "If you so much as utter this to anyone-"

"I won't," John promised.

Karkat stood there for another moment. He was obviously mulling something over in his "think-pan" as the Alternian slang went. He coughed nervously and shifted his work to his other arm. "Thank you John. I know you meant well." He hurriedly strode off before John could so much as breathe a reply.


	7. Lusus

**Hello everyone! Two updates in a row, just for you lovely lover...loves. I'm sorry if I don't reply to your review, but fanfiction isn't even sending me alerts when my stories are reviewed, faved, updated, whatever, but I can read your reviews manually and I just love them all! You guys make me feel so good. :) Let's bring it in for one giant Matesprit orgy hug. **

**I really don't want to update this story anymore, because I don't want to have to end it! I really love writing every one of these chapters and all the awesome reviews I get from you lovelies! **

**I'm also sorry for updating the same chapter twice! That was an accident. But...I'll stop talking and get on with the chapter! **

**Actually one more thing! This chapter is another shorty and a bit uneventful...I'm sorry! **

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><p>John grabbed a bottle of Faygo from the small cooler that was rigged outside of his cage. Everyone was gone now, even Karkat. And it was dark, just like his house would be every evening. It made him terribly homesick.<p>

He wondered how long everyone would be gone for. Would Karkat be gone for the entire Holiday like the others? He let out a sigh and laid down, curling up. His back was starting to hurt from having to sleep on the bottom of a stupid uncomfortable cage every night.

And now that he thought about it, was it even night? He assumed so since Karkat had only left an hour or so ago, but there was really no telling since the troll was married to his work, so to speak, and left for a mere couple hours before returning.

John looked up slightly when the door opened. He wasn't frightened by the squeaking sound and approaching footsteps anymore, but he was curious who could be visiting at this time of night.

Tavros wheeled himself in, stopping for a moment at the door. John grabbed his glasses and squinted to look into the hallway where a few windows laid. He managed to notice that it was only dusk before Tavros turned on the lights and closed the door.

"Good morning John!" Tavros said cheerily, bringing in a small basket of food.

"It's dark outside," John pointed out, a bit confused, but he figured Tavros was just too excited to notice the time of day.

Tavros shook his head. "It's pretty much always like that during the Dark Seasons," he chuckled, setting the basket down. The troll fiddled with the keys and unlocked the food slot, lifting it up and placing the basket inside.

John hesitantly poked through the basket, looking for something that seemed edible enough. Much to his surprise, the contents were a loaf of french bread and some cheddar cheese.

"I looked up recipes online for human food!" Tavros said happily. "But uh,some ingredients I had to improvise so uh...I hope it's not, you know, uhm, bad..."

John looked at the bread hesitantly, tearing off a bit and taking a bite. His eyes lit up and he smiled brightly. "This is actually pretty delicious!"

"Oh! Uh...I'm really happy then," Tavros said bashfully, flushing a bit. "But actually Gamzee helped me, uh, bake, most of it," he admitted, smiling a bit.

"Right," John said, leaning back. "I have a question, Tav."

"You called me Tav!" Tavros laughed, clapping. "Usually only Gamzee and Eridan call me that," he said thoughtfully.

"Yeah, well I was wondering about Karkat," John said. "Is he...all right? Like...mentally?"

Tavros though for a moment, rolling himself closer to John cage so he could rest his head on his arms. "Well, sometimes you can't really know what's going on in his think-pan, but uh, for the most part...I think he's pretty, you know, stable."

John nodded. "What's a Lusus?" he asked.

"Oh!" Tavros said happily, perking up. He pulled a leather wallet from his pocket and took out a picture, handing it to John.

John took it, eying the image of a young Tavros with a strange creature curiously."I'm not sure what to make of this."

"That's Tinkerbull! He's my Lusus. He watches over me and gives me lots of hugs and kisses all the time, and he watches me play games and brings the best Behemoth Leavings!" Tavros explained, taking the picture back and looking at it. "But I guess maybe you'd understand this better; He's my Custodian."

John quirked an eyebrow, tilting his head. "So...he cleans your house?"

Tavros shrugged. "Well sometimes I guess, but he likes it better when I just clean up after myself."

"I still don't understand," John said, rubbing the side of his head.

"Well...uh, I hope you won't be mad, but uh, I grabbed this from your hive to show the others, because uh, your Lusus looked kind of strange. I hope it doesn't make you, uhm, made...or something," Tavros murmured, pulling a folded picture from his vest pocket. He handed it to John who looked it over curiously.

It was a picture of him and his father a few years back when they'd gone on a cruise to the Caribbean with Dave and his big brother.

"You mean my dad?" John asked, enthralled with the picture. It had only been a few weeks since he'd been away from home, but it felt a lot more like years. His dad, Dave, Dave's bro, all seemed foreign and far away. He sighed, becoming more homesick.

"What's a dad?" Tavros asked. "Is it like Seagoatdad? Or Crabdad?"

"I don't know," John sighed. "But a dad is someone that protects you and watches over you and feeds you and stuff. Like a guardian or something."

"That's a Lusus, silly!" Tavros said, fidgeting with his sleeves.

"Whatever," John murmured. "But what's a Seagoat dad? And a crab dad?"

"Seagoatdad is Gamzee's Lusus, but he is always swimming around in the sea and Gamzee is afraid of the sea, so Gamzee is kind of like an orphan. And, uh, well...Karkat's an orphan too. Crabdad was his Lusus."

"What happened?" John asked.

Tavros, leaned on his hand. "Well. He used one of Sollux's hacks and his computer exploded and the entire second floor fell on top of Crabdad. Gamzee's Lusus came to help, but it was too late."

"That's...kind of sad," John admitted, pulling his knees to his chest. "I could never imagine something like that happening to my dad. Is that why Karkat seems so angry and hateful all the time?"

Tavros laughed and shook his head. "No! He's always been like that. But it's just kind of how he shows affection, you know? He, uh, sort of doesn't have a lot of confidence. Uhm...but, I, you know, I have a lot! And Rufio always tells me, uh, to...be more confident and stuff."

"Rufio?" John asked.

"Oh, well, uh, he's just a fake, but I still try and listen to him anyway," Tavros explained with a sheepish smile.

"Okay," John said, tired of asking what everything was. He chalked Tavros' "fake" to an imaginary friend and left it at that.

"So I guess Karkat's going to come in and feed me every day while you guys have your holiday," John said, picking at the bread some more.

"Well, uh, actually...Karkat said he had important business to do, so, uhm, if it's all right, Gamzee and I will come in to, uhm, feed you for today and part of tomorrow," Tavros said.

John nodded. "All right. But what is Karkat doing that's more important than feeding me," he asked with a slight unintentional whine.

Tavros laughed a bit. "Well, uh, I'm not really sure, actually...so maybe just try and not be too mad at him, okay? It seemed pretty important to him."

John shrugged. "I'm not mad. I prefer you honestly. You're a lot nicer."

"Well, uh, I guess it's just...all this confidence!" Tavros said, ironically without much confidence.

John laughed a bit, nodding. "Yeah. All right. So much confidence. You have all the confidence."

Tavros grinned in agreement.


	8. Perigee's Eve Eve

**I'm sorry, again...for being kind of late and this chapter may not be that great...O:**

**I've been feeling a little down lately, and also I'm working on cosplay so I've been sort of burned out, but I'll try to update a little more often! I think this story will be ending in the next five or so chapters, even though I really don't want it to! **

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><p>John stared blankly at the strange yellow and red doll Tavros had left him for entertainment. He wasn't a girl for goodness sake! But it was pretty nice of the troll to think of him enough to want to ease his boredom. He tilted his head as he stared at the doll's adorable button eyes and couldn't help but smile a bit. He sort of missed Karkat's angry shenanigans.<p>

He also wanted to ask Karkat about the whole kissemisin...or whatever the heck it was called. He tried to ask Tavros and Gamzee, but only received vague answers.

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><p>"You mean uh, a Kismesis?" Tavros chuckled as he watched John happily drink his cold bottle of water. John nodded for him to go on. "Who asked you to be their Kismesis?" the chipper troll asked curiously, leaning in close so he wouldn't miss anything John said.<p>

"Well. He kind of just said it more than asked it," John shrugged. "But Karkat said 'I think we're going to have a good Kismesis' I'm paraphrasing of course."

Tavros and Gamzee looked at each other, both grinning like madmen (Well, Gamzee more than usual, at least). "I, uh, I didn't know you felt like that for Karkat!" Tavros said happily, perking a bit in his four-wheeled device, or, er, wheelchair.

"Feel like what?" John asked, blinking.

Gamzee put his arm around Tavros and sighed airily. "Our lil motherfucker's growin' up Tavbro."

"Finally," Tavros laughed, clapping.

John rubbed his temples, sensing he'd get nowhere with the two most oblivious trolls of the bunch and decided to wait until Karkat came back.

* * *

><p>Even now, John was wondering what they could have been talking about. He didn't like Karkat if that's what they were insinuating. But at the same time he didn't exactly hate him. They also couldn't really be friends though, but then again they weren't not friends.<p>

"Argh!" John mussed his hair, groaning in frustration. He couldn't even really put it into words. Maybe if Karkat wasn't his abductor and wasn't an alien they actually could be friends. He was amusing enough at least. Maybe that was all he needed to not be so angry all the time. He just needed a good friend.

John smiled to himself. Yes, this plan was perfection. He had all the good plans. All of them. As soon as Karkat got back he would declare their newfound friendship!

"John?"

John looked up from his victorious pose. He must not have heard Karkat enter through his incredible awesomeness; Dave would be proud. "What's a Kismenis...es?" he asked almost too fast.

Karkat quirked and eyebrow. "Kismesis?"

"Yeah that thing you said!" John said, pressing his face against the bars.

Karkat blushed. "I..." he cleared his throat and scratched the back of his neck, blushing. "I-I mean...I was kind of...you know, in the moment. And I may have jumped to conclusions too quickly."

"I don't even know!" John sighed exasperatedly, throwing his arms up. "What does it even mean?"

Karkat set his bags down, rubbing his eyelids as he thought of a good way to explain it. "I just sort of thought...I mean you always looked at me with those hateful curious eyes, and-"

"Do you like me?" John gasped, clapping his hands on his cheeks in feigned shock; his completely and totally awesome analytical mind already deducted the answer before! He was almost as cool as Dave probably, but most likely not.

Karkat eyed him. "You are such a fuckass. Don't you have Kismesissitude on your planet?"

"No," John murmured. "I don't think so."

Karkat twitched a little bit, strangling the air angrily. "Well fucking damn I can't explain every little fucking thing to you!" he snapped. "So maybe I did feel a little black! Maybe I was completely fucking flushed! Who cares, you're just a test fucking dummy!"

John sank back a little bit. "That really hurts, Karkat. I wanted us to be friends," he murmured, pulling his knees to his chest and burying his face.

Karkat froze for a moment before he turned around. "You want to...enter the diamond quadrant with me? Just like that?" he asked. "I mean even after I presented Kismesissitude to you?"

"Well I did! But you're mean," John pouted, turning around. Of course he still wanted to, but now Karkat would have to work for it.

John didn't hear Karkat so much as breathe for several moments. But the shuffling of bags caught his attention and he looked over his shoulder curiously. He noticed Karkat enter a disc into one of the bigger computers and then adjust a wall-screen so it was facing John's cage.

John turned back around, pouting comically so Karkat wouldn't catch his curiosity. He heard more shuffling of bags and then felt something soft against his back. He turned and looked down.

"Liv Taylor!" John squealed, taking the bunny and holding it tight. "Oh my god, you got her for me?" he asked, staring at Karkat with admiration.

"Just to fucking get you to shut up about your shitty human stuff," Karkat murmured, looking away.

John wiggled his arms through the bars and pulled Karkat into a hug, closing his eyes tightly. "Thank you so much."

Karkat thought to push the human away, but decided against it and simply didn't return the hug. "Whatever fuckass." Once John's arms loosened, Karkat slipped away from them. He couldn't help but feel a bit reluctant because John's embrace was warm and inviting. He couldn't remember ever being held like that by anyone, really. Not even his Lusus when he was alive.

Karkat pushed a button on the computer and the menu for Con Air immediately popped up. He sneered a bit when John perked up and tried to move as close to the screen as he possibly could in the cage. "Happy Perigee's Eve...er...Eve," the troll murmured. The real Perigee's Eve would be tomorrow, but Karkat must have had plans, John thought.

Karkat grabbed the remaining bags and some more books and files and began to leave.

"Wait, Karkat," John said, holding Liv Taylor and Nic Cage (the doll he'd received from Tavros) close, drawing courage from their fluffiness. "Maybe I can come and keep you company? I don't want you to be alone on a holiday. And we can watch movies and stuff together! It'll be a lot of fun, don't you think?"

Karkat snorted. "I'm not fucking stupid. You'll just try to escape as soon as I take you out of the lab.

"Where will I go?" John asked.

Karkat thought for a moment. "I can't trust you."

"Take me on a leash like when I go to use the restroom," John suggested.

"That's stupid. I'll get fucking stared at like some kind of freak if I go walking around with a pet alien," Karkat replied with a scoff.

"You can show me your Troll Romcom's and prove they're better than my human 80's action flicks," John said, nodding vigorously.

Karkat's fingers inched towards John's black collar. "Well I guess a few days couldn't fucking hurt," he said, though grimaced a bit at his inevitably bad decision.

He went back to John's cage, letting him out. John stretched and let out a happy sigh. It felt good to stretch his tense muscles. He felt like he'd been put into a trash compactor or something equally as compressing.

The collar was fastened onto John's neck and after shutting everything down and replacing Con Air in its case, Karkat led John out of the lab.

John was beyond excited. He'd never had so much of a glance outside the lab, so everything in this planet would be entirely new to him. He wondered how different and exciting it was.

John's first instinct when he got outside was to run and explore, but the first lunge that he expected to turn into a sprint left him laying on his back and choking.

Karkat rolled his eyes. "Are you fucking stupid or something?" he asked, loosening John's collar a bit. "You're like a fucking wild animal."

John rubbed his neck, frowning. "Sorry, I got a little over excited."

"What the fuck ever," Karkat sighed, pulling him along as he shoved his hands in his pockets. "I have some errands to run so be quiet and don't even look at anyone. We don't need any unnecessary attention."

John nodded obediently, grinning widely as Karkat led him onwards.


	9. Errands to Run

**Finally figured out how to get my alerts and whatnot working again! I'll now be able to answer your lovely reviews again!**

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><p>John was amazed at everything he saw outside of the lab. So amazed, in fact, that it didn't even bother him when Karkat tugged on his collar to keep him from entering anyone else's "lawnring."<p>

Seeing all the different trolls was probably what he liked the most. Each troll had a different style of horns from the others, and adorned zodiac symbols on their clothes. They gave weird looks to John and Karkat, but otherwise remained rather unfazed by the fact that there was an alien on their planet.

"I thought people would be a little more, you know, afraid!" John chirped, throwing his arms up into the air. "I mean I'm an alien after all."

Karkat scoffed. "Humans are so isolated and naïve," he sneered. "Haven't you noticed that there are only children on this planet?"

John shrugged. "I thought you guys just stopped aging after awhile or something."

"Wrong. All the adults of our planet go out in spaceships and conquer other planets. While it is odd for aliens to actually be _on _our planet, no one needs to feel threatened by you."

"Why?" John asked, tilting his head.

"Because you are pathetic and not worth their breath," Karkat murmured, rolling his eyes.

"Oh..." John said, slouching over a bit. "Well. Okay, I guess."

Karkat let out a small, frustrated growling noise. "Don't get all depressed on me. I can't be pulling you along while I have errands to run!"

"Oh yeah! Where are we going Karkat?" John asked, the normal bounce in his step returning at the thought of seeing more of the exciting planet.

"Karkat!"

John looked up at the sound of Tavros' voice.

"Sup motherfucker's?" Gamzee added, smiling his naturally aloof smile.

John attempted to run to them, but Karkat caught him by the collar of the shirt. He felt a little bad for nearly throttling John with the collar before.

Karkat smiled a bit when John bounced eagerly, trying to pull Karkat forward so he would move to the other two trolls faster. "Slow down, fuckass."

"Don't you think Jack will be, uh, mad if he finds out you took John, you know, from the lab?" Tavros asked, smiling with a hint of concern.

Karkat rolled his eyes. "Whatever. He won't fucking notice. I don't fucking care anyway."

"Motherfucker's gonna get his fuckin' party on this year?" Gamzee asked, leaning over Tavros' wheelchair.

Karkat just shrugged. "Not really. John wants to watch his shitty "80s action flicks" whatever the fuck that means."

"Oh, see, you're so nice Karkat!" Tavros scolded playfully. "So, uhm, no more putting yourself down! You hafta, uh, you hafta have more confidence! Like Rufio!"

"I'm not nice!" Karkat yelled. "It's convenient. This way I don't have to go back every day and fucking feed him and shit!"

"Whatever you say, Karkat," Tavros laughed, crossing his arms. "We just left the Food Place. Is that where you two are headed?"

"Yes." Karkat looked at their abundance of groceries. "Why on earth do you need that much food?"

"Perigees' Eve party tomorrow!" Tavros sang, cheering happily. "Uh, you know, everyone's invited! It's going to be a lot of fun."

John looked up as Karkat's grip on the collar of his shirt tightened a bit. The bitter troll looked away, his upper lip twitching a bit. "Oh yeah. Lots of fun."

John perked up a bit. "Oh yeah! That sounds like a lot of fun. You can totally count me and Karkat in!" he chirped.

Karkat's head whipped around and he slapped John in the back of the head. "Don't be fucking ridiculous. We're fucking busy."

"No we're not! Movies aren't important," John waved his hand dismissively. "I mean we are invited, aren't we?"

Tavros' eyes brightened. "Yes! Oh...Oh, uh, most definitely! Karkat never comes to our parties!" he said happily, a permanent smile plastered on his face.

Karkat scoffed again, shaking his head. "You never invite me to your parties, don't be a fuckass."

"Hey, best be watchin' that motherfuckin mouth around my best bro here, Karkles," Gamzee said non-threateningly, burying his face in Tavros' soft hair. "He be inviting you places like it's goin' out of style, motherfucker's just ignornin him or callin him a fuckass all the time."

"That's not tru-" Karkat paused, thinking back for a moment. Come to think of it, his brain practically shut down while he was at the lab. He wouldn't be surprised if he cursed at people to get out of his face without really listening to what they were telling him. "Oh. Well...I'm...sorry, then."

Tavros blinked in surprise. "You're sorry?"

"You fucking heard me!" Karkat snapped, pulling John forward again. "I guess we'll see you tomorrow."

Tavros looked up at Gamzee exuberantly. "Maybe John is Karkat's Auspistice? Because he, uh, he thinks he's in a Kismesissitude with himself!"

Gamzee chuckled, wheeling Tavros down the path to his house. "That's motherfuckin' funny, Tavbro."

* * *

><p>John smiled at Karkat. "See! It was all just a big huge misunderstanding. You don't need to be worrying all the time. You've got some strange issues, you know."<p>

Karkat's mouth twitched a bit, but otherwise he remained quiet. John looked back down, sighing a bit. He'd hoped Karkat would be a little more thankful, or maybe even just a little happy! John reeled back as his collar pressed down on his throat. He looked back, not having noticed that Karkat had stopped walking.

"Karkat?" John asked, leaning down a bit to look into Karkat's eyes. The troll was too focused on his feet to pay any mind to John, however. "Are you all right?"

Karkat shook his head and wrinkled his nose. "Thank you John." John smiled a bit, putting his hands in his pockets bashfully. "You keep doing all these fucking nice things for me, and I mean...for fuck's sake you're my hostage! An experiment. It's really pissing me off. Not at you, but...at me I guess."

John leaned back on his heels and then shifted to his tiptoes before standing straight again. "Well...you do nice things for me too. Like bringing me water and talking to me and bringing Liv Taylor and my Nic Cage DVD collection."

"I had ulterior motives. You're just doing this out of fucking...kindness. I don't fucking get it," Karkat growled frustratedly.

John put a hand on Karkat's shoulder, forcing their eyes to meet. "I like you Karkat. We're friends."

Karkat fidgeted a bit, marveling at John's high-blooded, vibrant irises. His Sclera were free of dilution, unlike that of a troll's. His pink lips contrasted his pale skin comically to Karkat whom was used to the gray on gray typical of his race. His fangs prodded his bottom lip and before he knew it, he had the human pinned between him and the wall of the Food Place.

John couldn't say he wasn't completely unsurprised at Karkat suddenly shoving him against a wall and kissing him. In fact he was completely utterly and ultimately caught off guard. He was a little afraid what Karkat would do if he tried to fight him off, but John couldn't help himself when he felt a foreign tongue in his mouth.

Finally, John yanked his head away. One hand was vehemently pushing at Karkat's face, the other pushing at his shoulder. He couldn't help but let out a loud "Ew!" at the thought of someone else's saliva in his mouth.

Honestly, it wasn't because it was Karkat. Anyone's saliva would be pretty gross in his opinion.

Karkat stared at him, a little confused. "What? You just said you like me. I fucking heard you. With my ears."

John blushed. "Well, uh, I mean. I do like you, as a friend, you know! A Moirlaga, or whatever! I'm not a homosexual. I'm sorry Karkat..."

Karkat looked thoroughly confused. "What in the hell are you talking about!"

"You know, a homosexual. I mean I'm not a homophobe, but...I just don't like boys," John said quietly, feeling a little guilty about having to reject Karkat.

"Is that even a thing on your planet? That's fucking stupid!" Karkat yelled, throwing his arms up.

"W-Well...I don't know, I just don't...feel like that about you. I'm sorry," John apologized, biting his lip.

"Shut the fuck up. I get it. I'm un fucking likeable. Whatever," Karkat grabbed John's leash and pulled him along again. "We have a lot of errands to run."

John sighed in quiet exasperation. He knew Karkat wouldn't want to try and talk it out, even though John desperately withed he would. He could only try and ignore the awkwardness of what had just happened.


	10. Quadrants

**I couldn't sleep last night so I wrote this whole chapter in my head. I knew not writing it down would be a mistake. Well...hopefully I can remember _something._**

**I'm sorry this is so late! I've been seriously distracted and depressed with school coming up and whatnot! **

**This one's for you Chill Dude ; ) **

**(Oh gosh. Fixed the typo about the bed. Holy- Thank you for pointing that out anon. xD;;; That was, indeed, a typo. I type too fast and am too lazy to proofread sooooo...;D)  
><strong>

* * *

><p>John watched Karkat as he began to place random food items into his cupboards and other various food storages. For such an abrasive boy, Karkat was oddly articulate and organized, John couldn't help but notice.<p>

He stood awkwardly around the kitchen, fidgeting and nibbling on his abused lip. He still really wanted to talk to Karkat about what had happened. It wasn't something he could just ignore and brush off like Karkat seemed to be doing so easily. It may have just been a cultural difference, but talking it out helped!

"Hey Karkat?" John received a grunt in reply. "Uhm...I really think we should talk about it," he said hopefully, looking up at the boy.

"Is that fucking so?" Karkat asked offhandedly, obviously not paying too much attention to John as he rushed around the kitchen and sorted through the groceries. There was a long, uncomfortable silence before John spoke up again.

"Hey Karkat?"

Karkat slammed a can onto the counter and turned. "What! For the love of fucking Gog, what do you fucking want from me?" he asked exasperatedly, throwing his arms out.

John tensed a bit, causing Karkat to forcibly soften his expression. The boy adjusted his glasses and twiddled his thumbs, nibbling his bottom lip again. "Could you maybe...teach me about how your relationships and stuff work? Like the Kissmissy and Moirolo or whatever?"

Karkat's mouth twitched and it was obvious he was trying to keep a stern expression, but a half-smile pushed it's way through. "You're so fucking ignorant," he murmured without force.

* * *

><p>Teaching John about quadrants and flushing and the likes had proved to be a strenuous venture, but after several hours of explanation, the boy finally began to understand.<p>

"So...when you said you wanted to be my Kismesis you felt..._that way _about me?" John asked, blushing. "Like, uhm, you...wanted to do...that stuff with me?"

Karkat gave a halfhearted shrug. "Well...yeah. I mean. I've always wanted something like out of one of my romcoms. Like...man it would just be fucking awesome, I think."

John blushed even more, clearing his throat. "W-Well...I mean...I'm only 13, so, even if I liked someone I wouldn't...do anything like that," he murmured, becoming more flustered the longer he spoke.

Karkat suddenly sat up straight, looking at John with a shocked expression.

John felt uncomfortable, so he shifted around a bit, biting his lip. "I- what's...with that look?"

"You're 13 fucking sweeps old!" Karkat yelled, eyes getting comically wide.

John shifted a bit more. "Uhm- yeah?"

"Fuck..." Karkat leaned back, trying to blink back his shock. "Just...holy fuck you're older than I thought."

John rubbed the back of his head. "Uhm...13 isn't very old. I mean...how old are you?"

"I'm 6, fucking duh," Karkat drawled, rolling his eyes.

John turned bright red, though he wasn't exactly sure why, it's not like he had any inappropriate feelings towards Karkat. Not at all. But then, why was he embarrassed? He couldn't even think of a good excuse to lie to himself. So maybe Karkat was starting to grow on him a bit. But they were just friends! That was it. "You're...young," he said.

"I'll be considered a young adult in two sweeps! I am not young!" Karkat growled, crossing his arms and leaning back against his plush purple couch.

John leaned back as well and they both stared vacantly at nothing in particular.

"I'll be a young adult in three years," John suddenly said, looking over at Karkat. "So...maybe we're still technically the same age? Basically..."

Karkat nodded. "Yeah. Sure. It would make sense if our planet's measures of time were different from each other. I'll have to look it up later-"

"No!" John yelled, grabbing Karkat by the shoulders and shaking him.

Karkat looked utterly confused. Normally he'd be cussing up a storm, but the shock caught his tongue. He looked from side to side, expecting...something that wasn't what was currently happening.

John pulled back a bit, scratching the side of his face with his index finger. "You're not...allowed to think about work on your holiday, okay? I'm ordering you," he said firmly, poking Karkat in the chest.

Karkat was still too surprised to speak. He rubbed his chest tenderly, grimacing a bit at the dull irritation left by the gesture. "Fuck, okay. I fucking get it."

John smiled a bit slumping back into his sitting position. "Good."

Another long silence followed, but this one much more comfortable. Finally, Karkat got up and went to another bag, pulling out John's Nic Cage DVD set. He deftly opened the case and popped in the DVD, playing it immediately. He then made his way to the fridge and took out two bottles of faygo left behind by his Moirail, Gamzee. He'd been looking for an excuse to get rid of them anyway and the boy always raved about how delicious they were.

He plopped down next to John and handed him the faygo. No words were exchanged for most of the movie, save for John's short explanations of what certain things meant or his little quips.

The tension still resounded through the room, but it was much less uncomfortable than it had been before. John knew talking things out, even if they didn't really talk about what exactly had happened, would prove to lessen the difficulty in their relationship.

Eventually they both felt tired enough that they decided to sleep. Karkat showed John to one of the guest rooms, pointing out where the recuperacoon was located.

"Uhm. Karkat, I can't sleep in that," John pointed out.

"Why the hell not?" Karkat asked, sighing tiredly.

"Well...I mean. It's just not how humans sleep. I need blankets and pillows and stuff," John explained, rubbing his neck in embarrassment.

Karkat rolled his eyes and led John to his room. He opened a sparsely used cabinet and threw several pillows onto the floor, topping it off with a fluffy looking comforter. "Humans are so fucking weird," he grumbled, rolling his eyes as he crawled into his recuperacoon.

John laughed and rearranged the pillows so he could curl up on them. He pulled his blanket over his head and almost immediately fell asleep.

* * *

><p>After Karkat pulled himself out of his coon and washed himself off in the ablution trap, he quickly clothed himself and stretched, yawning a bit. He'd gotten the best sleep he'd ever had since the death of his lusus. In honesty, the hive was just too big for one person by himself. Karkat couldn't help his loneliness, but he wouldn't exactly admit to it either.<p>

He walked over to the makeshift "bed", as John had called it, and smiled a bit. He toed one of the pillows before kicking the comforter off. "Wake up fucking huma-" he paused for a moment, looking at the empty space. He blinked, appalled. He'd been had. He let his stupid "emotions" get in the way of his better judgment and now Jack was going to stab him again.

He growled and grabbed his sickles from his dresser. He wasn't about to fucking let that happen. The human would be apprehended and punished severely for such blatant disregard of his place!

Karkat growled, stomping as he made his way down the stairs and past the kitchen. "Fuck fuck FUCK!" he yelled, making a large wound into one of his walls.

Suddenly a certain black haired human peeked out from behind the kitchen archway. "Are you all right Karkat?" he asked, some sort of concave container and a wooden stirring stick in his hand. The boy's blue eyes were immediately glued to the weapons in Karkat's hands.

Karkat looked down at his clenched fists concealing the handles of his sickles. "Fuck..." he whispered, looking down and shaking his head.

John moved a bit further behind the wall, for protection it seemed. "Were you...gonna hurt me with those?" he asked sadly. "You don't trust me, Karkat?" Karkat could almost hear the fucking tears in his voice.

"Fuck, John, I'm sorry okay? I just...I woke up and you weren't fucking there and I just...I got fucking scared okay!" Karkat yelled, throwing his sickles to the ground.

John jumped completely behind the wall, making a sort of squeaking noise. Once he deemed that all had calmed down, he peeked out again.

Karkat's fingers were threaded through his hair and he paced around, grumbling incoherently. "It's just...Jack, and work, and fuck. I thought you left me, okay? Fucking...fuck!" he yelled, kicking his couch. He reeled back, bracing himself against the arm of the couch whilst holding his aching toe. "FUCK!"

John sunk into himself, nibbling his lip again, causing the metallic taste of blood to subtly assault his tongue. "You were afraid I left?" he asked.

"Well fuck!" Karkat sighed in frustration. "Yes, that's what I fucking said!"

John grimaced a bit, looking at the discarded sickles. "You were afraid of being alone again?" he asked quietly.

"I already fucking said ye-" Karkat paused, his arms still outstretched in irritation. "I mean...fuck! No! That was a dirty fucking trick Egbert!" He pointed accusingly to accentuate his point.

John looked back down at the bowl in his arms, smiling a bit sadly. "Well I made chocolate chip pancakes I think."

"What? What are pancakes? Wait...you think? What in the fuck are you doing in my kitchen!" Karkat snapped, storming over.

"Well...I just used what looked like the ingredients you'd use to make pancakes on earth!" John said proudly, smiling more surely now that Karkat's expression had died from a deer in headlights to his natural, aggressive self.

"Ugh. Gog. You've probably destroyed everything," he grumbled, examining the kitchen for damage control.


	11. Moving Backwards

**Ohh, a long chapter I love you babus, an apology for making you wait so long last time. 3**

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><p>Breakfast went by a bit awkwardly. John had jokingly forbade Karkat from bringing weapons to the breakfast table, but Karkat was not laughing. In fact he hadn't even twitched which worried John. He felt like the progress he'd made had just gone down the hypothetical drains.<p>

"Are you mad at me Karkat?" John murmured, slumping back in his chair. The pancakes were actually good, but a bit heavy in his human stomach.

"You're fucking stupid," Karkat grumbled, refusing to look up at John.

John looked down. That must have meant yes. He poked his pancake with his fork and suddenly lost any appetite he'd had. "Uhm...what are we going to do today?"

"We're helping Tavros set up for his Perigee's Eve party," Karkat replied simply. "He said he wanted to 'spend some quality time with his moirail'."

John perked up. "I'm his moirail?"

"Yeah. Fucking disgusting. Taking a human for a moirail. But Tavros is pretty pathetic and friendle-" Karkat wasn't able to finish his sentence, for a sharp slap across the face stopped him dead in his tracks.

"Don't talk about Tavros like that! Sure he's kind of awkward and a little dorky but he's really nice and gentle unlike you Mr. Meanie face!" John shouted, storming out of the kitchen.

He huffed and crossed his arms. He liked Karkat and all, but poor Tavros! John would not tolerate his moirail being teased so cruelly, and what's worse somewhere he can't even defend himself. All of these shenanigans Karkat had been pulling were making John quite uncomfortable.

* * *

><p>A few hours passed before Karkat came to retrieve John. Again, no words were exchanged but what once had been a comfortable silence was now a stressful one. Their minds were both tense, rejecting the other's neurons from connecting.<p>

John was a little bit peeved at Karkat so he didn't much feel like talking, but at the same time he knew Karkat couldn't help his bitter attitude. He obviously wasn't used to having friends or being nice! But John was still too angry to talk to him.

* * *

><p>They arrived at Tavros' house after a very uneventful and awkward walk. John noticed that the longer they walked, the more slumped and exhausted Karkat appeared to become. He wondered if their fight, if you could even really call it that, was eating him alive? The thought made John's own dejection more apparent, but he couldn't back down now! Karkat had to realize how mean he was being to Tavros.<p>

Tavros arrived at the door before either boy could open it. He was donning a large, exuberant smile and a shining pair of spectacular new legs. "Welcome to our hive!" He chirped, hands on his waist. "Well...it's actually, uh, Gamzee's, but, uh, you know..."

John jumped once, thrusting out his arms in exitement. "Tavros! You have legs! It's a miracle!"

Creepy laughter followed by a loud honk could be heard in the other room.

John looked a bit unsure about entering now. "How'd you get legs!" He squeaked excitedly, regarding Tavros again. He unhooked himself from the leash and swung his arm around his friend, walking off.

"Hey you stupid fuckass!" Karkat yelled.

John ignored him, leading Tavros away. "Well," Tavros continued. "This was Equius' Perigees Eve present to me! He's been working on it for a long time, he says!"

"Good," John laughed jovially.

"I just have to get used to stairs again. Gamzee has to carry me, but I don't think he really minds." Tavros laughed.

"You guys are kind of cute," John commented, smiling.

"Well, uh, you and Karkat are even more cute!" Tavros said, flustered from the nice compliment. John didn't reply, merely quirked an eyebrow. Tavros blinked, fidgeting nervously. "Uh, well, I mean isn't Karkat your matesprit?" He murmured.

"That meanie!" John yelled. "Heck no! He's a jerk!"

* * *

><p>Karkat stormed into the kitchen, throwing down John's leash and angrily seating himself at the table.<p>

"What's up motherfuckin best friend?" Gamzee asked, sidling into the chair across from his moirail. "Are you and your matesprit having the troubles?"

Karkat looked away, grimacing. "He doesn't want to be my matesprit. He says he's 'not a homosexual' whatever the hell that's supposed to mean!" he yelled, throwing his arms up. "Whatever the fuck it is, it's seriously getting in the way of sloppy makeouts. Also I think he's fucking mad at me."

Gamzee tilted his head. "Maybe a homosexual is a type of human disease. Or maybe it's not a disease! Maybe it's a motherfuckin normal human function, and he doesn't have it so he can't motherfuckin feel love or anything!" he gasped, eyes growing wide at the thought.

Karkat rolled his eyes. "You're a fucking idiot. Why are you even my moirail?" He hung his head, rubbing his temples.

"Man you just gotta motherfuckin talk it out, all right? You're too aggressive for such a happy guy, so you probably motherfuckin scared him by yelling or something," Gamzee nodded, blinking languidly.

"Bluh. Whatever," Karkat looked away again, listening to John's distant voice. "But. I guess I fucking should apolog-"

"Hehehe, Karkat!"

Karkat's eyes widenend. "Fucckkk, fuck fuck fuck," he groaned, slipping under the table. "I'm not here, okay?"

Terezi bounded into the room, lunging onto the table. "Where is he!"

Gamzee pointed down.

Karkat growled. "You're a traitor!" he snarled, knowing his moirail would sell him out without a second though. Especially to this girl.

Terezi poked her head underneath the table, grinning. "I can already smell your delicious candy blood!" she hissed out, licking his cheek.

Karkat winced, pulling himself out from under the table. "I can't fucking stand you sometimes, you know?"

John and Tavros appeared in the doorway just in time to witness Terezi pull Karkat's face to hers and give him a large, loud, sloppy makeouty kiss. John couldn't help but freeze and step backwards, because he was, in fact, taken aback! He thought Karkat liked him? Not that it mattered! He didn't like Karkat like that! So it was better he found someone else. So why was he slipping away? Why did his chest seem to drop and melt away until nothing was driving his emotions anymore?

Karkat pushed Terezi away, spotting Tavros who was looking worriedly down the hall. Fucking Hell, he hoped John hadn't seen. "Fuck Terezi," he growled, pushing her away. "Look, I don't want to be your fucking matesprit anymore."

"Oh yeah. Where's that new kid?" Terezi asked, scratching her cheek curiously. "Tavros told me you were bringing him! I want to meet him!"

Equius, Kanaya, and Nepeta entered the kitchen (without real invitation into the hive), all bearing gifts for their gracious hosts, and Nepeta and extra gift.

"This is fur John!" Nepeta purred happily, thrusting the package into Tavros' hands before frolicking off to join the beginning festivities. Kanaya joined, leaving Tavros and Equius alone. Equius looked down at Tavros, adjusting his glasses.

"How are your legs?"

"...Uhh, they're swell! Thanks Equius!" Tavros said, smiling a bit nervously.

Equius stared at him for a moment, looking him up and down with an uncomfortably serious expression before drawling out a deep "Wonderful." He walked into the kitchen with purpose, standing close to his young moirail.

Tavros let out a shudder, deciding he'd find John before anyone else came and caused a ruckus.

* * *

><p>"John?" Tavros called, peeking out into the back lawnring. "Hey John, are you all right?"<p>

John looked down. He'd easily perched himself into a rather large tree, a tree akin to the one he'd had in his front lawnring- lawn! He meant lawn. The big tree he'd had in his lawn. He rested his head against the trunk, biting his lip. "I don't know what to do Tavros."

Tavros tilted his head slightly. "What do you mean?"

"On Earth, it's not...usual for a boy to like another boy. Usually people are just born that way! But I don't think I was born that way. But at the same time I think...I might...also feel like that for Karkat, but he's just so mean sometimes!" John ranted, clenching his free hand, the other clutching to the tree.

"Why would that be unusual? That's silly!" Tavros laughed, putting his hands on his hips in a playful scolding type of pose.

"Because...well...women and men have babies together, and women and women can't have babies, and men and men can't have babies, so it's not natural, really! I mean...it's not natural for them to try and have babies together, but I mean...they can be together, but...uhm..." John scratched the side of his head. "Okay that came out wrong, but I just don't think I like boys!"

Tavros rose an eyebrow. "That's...weird. What are babies?"

"You know...like little people, uh...grubs, or whatever," John explained.

Tavros turned bright orange. "Humans reproduce with...each other!" he gasped, covering his face. "But...What about the mother grub!"

"...What?" John asked, quirking his brow.

Tavros shook his head, trying to keep himself from getting too flustered. "Uh...cultural differences..." he murmured, waving his hand to dismiss it. "John, if you like Karkat, then forget about this silly Human...r-reproduction and just do what feels right! It's all right on our planet. Gender doesn't even have anything to do with reproduction really!"

John shrugged halfheartedly, stretching his leg out to try and get down from the tree. He perched his other leg on a branch, but as he tried to move down, his ankle got caught and his hand slipped. He hung upside down for a split second before his foot slipped out of his shoe and he was sent towards the ground. Tavros jumped forward to save him, but tripped over his own clumsy legs and fell on his face.

"Oh my Gog, John are you okay!" Tavros cried, dragging himself (as standing up was still a difficult task for him) towards John.

John was dazed for a moment before he managed to pick himself up into a sitting position. "Ow...shoot..." he winced as he touched his nose, a small stream of red falling to his lips. "I'm bleeding. Oh God I'm bleeding." He held his head forward, wiping the blood onto the back of his hand. "Can you get me a tiss-" John looked up. "What?"

Tavros was staring at him rather blantantly, a terrified look on his face. When he caught John's attention, he forced himself to look down. "O-Oh Gog, I-I'm so, uh, I'm, oh Gog, I'm sorry...I-I should have, uh, you know, caught you...oh Gog, I'm so sorry..."

John looked thoroughly confused. "Really Tavros, it's all right. There's nothing you could have done."

"I should have tried harder! Oh Gog, oh Gog, oh Gog," Tavros nervously brought his hands to his mouth, biting his fingernails. "So, are you Jack's...I mean...are you going to, t-tell him? I...oh Gog...I'm so sorry I'm so-"

"John!" Karkat yelled, storming over rather aggressively. He was alone, for everyone else was probably too busy getting their Perigee's Eve Partying started.

John looked down, scratching his arm. "Wh-What?"

Karkat stopped when he saw John's blood, and then Tavros' terrified expression. "Shit-" he rubbed his temples again, feeling an oncoming migraine. "Tavros, don't worry. John does not count as a highblood. You're above him. He's just a test subject. Jack doesn't even know he's got red fucking blood, okay, so quite your fucking whimpering!"

Tavros flinched, fidgeting. "S-Sorry..." He got up and scurried off.

Karkat helped John up, pulling a handkerchief from his pocket. It was actually kind of odd- Karkat hardly seemed the type to carry something like that around. He dabbed at John's upper lip, noticing his curious look. "Equius makes me carry it since I'm a fucking highblood I guess," he murmured. "I'm just too fucking scared he'll beat the shit out of me if I don't carry it around on me."

John averted his eyes, then looked down, his hands hanging awkwardly at his side. He was gently pressed against the tree trunk and his face was delicately tilted up so Karkat would have better access to his wound. He tensed visibly, causing a low growl from Karkat.

"Don't be fucking scared!" he snapped, before slowly lowering his voice when he noticed John's breath hitch from fear. "Listen, I just..." Karkat searched for the right words, finishing his cleansing of John's blood. He carefully brought his hand to John's cheek, stroking it tenderly. He tried his best to be as fragile as possible as he brought it to John's chin, tilting his head up again. "I don't want you to be afraid of me. I know...I can be a little fucking aggressive sometimes but..." Karkat's voice was a mere whisper now. John as trembling. From what, he wasn't sure. But Karkat's hand on his face was so warm and almost comforting.

"Karkat..." John slowly moved his head back as Karkat's lips came closer to his. The silence was almost palpable and John felt himself begin to break into a cold sweat. Karkat's lips were just barely brushing up against his when a distant call broke the sound barrier.

"Karkat Vantas get your ass inside this hive!"

Karkat pulled away, inhaling a sharp breath. "GOG FUCKING DAMMIT VRISKA CAN'T YOU SEE I'M BUSY!" he screamed, causing John to jump. The boy felt his heart skip a beat, and coughed as his quick breath went down the wrong pipe.

Karkat turned back to face John, but it was too late. The boy was already ducking under Karkat's arm and running back to the house, gesturing for the troll to follow with the most upbeat attitude he could muster.

Karkat sneered, disappointed in himself and pissed off at Vriska. She was always bitter about Tavros' indecision about being her matesprit, but his utter confidence in becoming Gamzee's matesprit. If she couldn't be happy, then by Gog no one would be happy, it seemed. But Karkat would get John if it were the last thing he did.


	12. Okay

**I'm pretty sure I explained this in a previous chapter, but in this AU Karkat is a highblood because Jack, who currently rules the planet, has red blood. Since Karkat is the only other troll with red blood, he's considered to be even higher than Feferi. But in reality, she's above Karkat and Karkat accepts that because that's how it was before Jack came along anyway. (Back when Karkat's blood was still considered mutated) And plus Feferi is a sweetie and believes in equality between all bloods, so there's really no issue there. **

**Karkat also doesn't tend to abuse his power over the other trolls except as a last resort. I don't want to give anything from upcoming chapters away!**

**Also I'm sort of violently ill so I've been writing this under immense delirium which probably is a really bad idea, so if I write something weird like "Alligator! Grape juice! I'm an astronaut chicken tacos!"...uh...I forgot what I was even saying.**

* * *

><p>Karkat had to stalk John all night in order to make sure he wasn't harassed by any of his "friends". John still disregarded him for the most part, but he could see Vriska planning something.<p>

She would surreptitiously whisper into John's ear, her around surrounding his limp waist in a gesture he probably considered friendly rather than for what Karkat saw it as; what it really was. A bitter female troll getting her revenge by befriending her failed Matesprit's Moirail.

Karkat frowned. That was his waist to tenderly caress, dammit! But John was still so utterly peeved at him. There was no way to help it.

"Well John," Vriska purred. "We have a lot of talking to do! Tavros is your moirail, you say? Well Tav and I happen to have a long history together.

"Really?" John asked excitedly. "Tavros is so nice!"

Vriska gave an offhanded laugh, trying to ignore the human's compliment of her enemy. "Right. Sure. Good." She drawled. "And what do you think? He's _strong _right?"

John looked over at Tavros. He was sitting with Gamzee, giggling and being his adorable little self whilst they spoke with some other trolls that John had yet to meet. "Well...I guess so. But not really. I like him how he is though!"

Vriska nodded. "Yeah, whatever. He's really not though. Not at all. Not even a little bit!"

John looked up at her, confused. "Uhm...okay?"

"But I guess now that he's not crippled anymore he can train and become stronger! Maybe he'll even be able to take me on," Vriska said thoughtfully.

John squinted a little, putting his hands on his hips. "But you're a girl! Wouldn't that be kind of mean for him to fight you?"

"Not at all! I aaaaaaaam the one that crippled him in the first place!" Vriska gloated, titling her chin up proudly. "It would be the right thing for him to try and take revenge! But he'd probably fail miserably," she laughed.

John ducked under her arm so she couldn't push him along as they spoke anymore. "...You did that to him?"

"He didn't tell you?" Vriska scoffed. "I'm offended, honestly. It was short of ingenious, but definitely one of my prouder moments. You see, I threw him off of the cliffs by his hive!" Vriska looked back, realizing John wasn't following her. "What?"

"That...that is just really mean! How could you do something like that?" he asked, trying to look as pissed off as he possibly could. Why was everyone so mean to Tavros? He was really nice and funny!

John stormed off, leaving a confused looking Vriska in his wake.

Karkat sidled up beside her, smirking. "Fucking complex, isn't he?" he asked, a slight smirk on his face. "For future reference, humans look down upon murder and crippling. Especially to their moirails."

Vriska looked over and down at Karkat, grimacing. She paused for a moment and traced Karkat's distant look to the human he'd been keeping as a pet. She put her arm around his shoulders, leaning down until their faces were too close for Karkat's comfort. "For future reference, if anything happens to get...unchaste, something just might accidentally slip to Jack," she whispered venomously before straightening up and strutting off.

Karkat made a gagging motion, rolling his eyes before being assaulted and interrogated by Terezi.

* * *

><p>John sat on a couch next to a troll he'd never met before. The tall troll was a lot more accessorized than the others, and he was extremely intimidating. John just couldn't help but stare!<p>

The troll must have felt John's blatant staring because, without moving his head, he looked down at John, scowling.

"Hi! I'm John!" John greeted, trying to be as friendly as he could.

"Whatever." The troll spoke with a very distinct accent that John had never heard before. The way he enunciated his Ws and Vs reminded John of the ocean. They were rolled and elongated and seemed to undulate as they fell from the troll's mouth. It was so cool!

"That's a really cool accent!" John complimented, smiling widely at the troll.

The troll faced John and opened his mouth to reply, but another troll interjected before that was possible.

"Don't say anything mean Eridan!" the girl scolded playfully, pinching his cheek and puckering her lips slightly.

"I wasn't gonna say somefin mean, Fef. Good reef."

"Fef" smiled and perked up. "Whale shore you weren't, but krill!...Oops, maybe that one was kind of obscure," she laughed. "But still!...that's what I meant to say."

Eridan's tense expression softened as he watched the girl in front of him. She smiled widely in reply, patting him on the shoulder.

John tilted his head, smiling. "Oh! You're matesprits," he laughed, clapping.

Eridan and Feferi both looked at each other, eyes wide for separate reason. "No, no! We're not really...in any quadrants together anymore," Feferi murmured, rubbing the back of her head.

"Feferi."

John looked up as a third troll joined, causing Eridan to slump back on the couch and let out a long sigh.

Sollux led a giggling Feferi away, glaring at Eridan.

John watched as the troll rolled his eyes and looked away, putting his arm over the back of the couch. "Whatever" was the troll's response to what had just happened.

John smiled hopefully. He wasn't really sure what the relationship was between the three, but he was a good listener! Right as he was about to try and pacify the quirky troll, however, someone was pulling his arm and dragging him away. He looked up, sighing frustratedly. If he let one more sad person keep being sad because he was constantly being dragged this way and that, he was going to go crazy!

"What do you want Karkat!" John yelled, flailing his arm in a successful attempt to yank it away from the other's grasp.

"Look, I'm fucking helping you. You don't want to get yourself tangled in that mess," Karkat murmured, leading John to a secluded archway.

John looked away, frowning. "Well maybe I do. You can't tell me what to do!"

Karkat slammed his palm on the wall just beside John's head, causing the boy to flinch. "The fuck I can't! As far as I'm concerned, you currently fucking belong to me until we get back to the lab!"

John looked down, fear and disappointment in his eyes. He really wanted to keep believing Karkat was a nice guy, but then he'd go and say things like that!

Karkat's fingers curled into a loose fist. He tapped the wall slightly, hanging his head and letting out a disgusted sigh. "John, I'm...fuck I'm sorry, okay?" he whispered.

"You called me stupid," John murmured, looking down. He wanted to escape, but he was cornered by Karkat's arms. And anyway, it wouldn't do any good because he could never really escape.

"I know...fuck, I know. I didn't realize-" Karkat let out another frustrated sigh, obviously trying not to let his anger get the best of him for a millionth time. "You can be kind of a huge fucking dork sometimes, but...you're really..."

"You called Tavros pathetic! He is not pathetic, okay! To be able to be such a happy guy when everyone around him is so mean, especially to him, well then I say he's stronger than all of you guys put together," John said defensively, his eyes filled with purpose.

Karkat's mouth twitched slightly, but he didn't reply like John had expected him to.

"Aren't you going to say something?" he murmured.

Karkat inhaled deeply, searching internally for something. He just wasn't sure what at first. "Fuck John..." John narrowed his eyes a bit, daring Karkat to continue. "John, you're really special, you know what?"

John's breath hitched. Okay. He was not really expecting something like that. Nor was he expecting it to affect him the way it did. He looked down, his eyes wide. "O-Oh..."

Karkat's voice was just below a whisper. "You're just so kind and gentle and strong and compassionate and just fucking...special. I'm scared. I'm scared I'll hurt you or make you cry. And I'm scared that I might want to make you cry, because when you get that fucking terrified, sad look in your face it's just...holy fuck, I can't even fucking explain it."

John wasn't sure how to reply. He averted his gaze, wishing someone would come and interrupt them, but the one time he was looking for it, nobody noticed them huddled under the archway.

Karkat pulled his hand back to his chest, watching John's face for a moment before gently touching his cheek. "I know you're fucking...terrified of me. I know I curse and fucking yell all the time, and I know I'm overly abrasive and bitter, but fuck...it's the weirdest fucking thing you make me want to be a better fucking troll."

John was still silent, completely at a loss for words. That was the kindest thing anyone had ever told him, but the comment about making him want to cry was kind of...off putting. He tried to tie it to cultural differences. Trolls were aggressive, trolls loved to hate. (or that's how it seemed) So it was only natural.

Even rationalizing it, John couldn't conjure any words to explain how he felt, because he honestly wasn't sure how he felt! Part of him loved what Karkat was pouring out, part of him found it creepy and wrong, but another part told him to stop thinking to himself and do whatever his heart told him was right, or at least do something without having an entire fucking monologue about it!

"Karkat!" Nepeta called from across the room, gathering the attention of any living creatures within a twenty mile radius. John trembled. He didn't like the attention, not in this position.

"Motherfuckin' Behemoth Branch!" Gamzee called excitedly, pointing above the troll and the human that were nearly pressed unto each other.

"Oh! Uh, you guys have to kiss!" Tavros said, clapping.

All the trolls in the room, which was quite a bit considering the room was fairly large, began to shift anxiously.

Karkat shot Tavros a look, causing the poor troll to nervously look away. "Oh! Uh, maybe we should bring the food out! Will, uh, some of you please help me?" he asked, fidgeting as he ran into the hall. John heard him fall, and had to resist the urge to start hysterics after hearing everyone make a ruckus over helping the poor little troll up.

Of course, some trolls lingered behind but some (trolls that worked with John in the lab especially) feigned ignorance. Surreptitiously trying to catch a peek at John and Karkat's private moment.

"Mistletoe," John murmured.

"What?" Karkat asked, tearing his gaze from the audience and back to John.

"During last Christmas my friend Dave and I got caught talking under a mistletoe at our friend's party, and they made us kiss each other," John said, blushing a bit at the thought. "I kind of forgot about it until now."

"I won't force you to do anything," Karkat assured John quietly, forcing his best half-smile.

"Well...I mean. I sort of, kind of, maybe just a little bit, enjoyed...doing that," John murmured. "I just...I'm only thirteen. I haven't even gone through puberty yet! So...I really don't know if it's, how I am. You know? Dave has always been really sure about his sexuality, so the kiss was just playing around for him, but..."

Karkat put a finger to John's lips to shoosh him. "You're rambling." He put his hand on John's cheek again, moving in a bit closer, careful to go as slowly as he could force himself to in case John wanted to pull away. "Don't think."

Karkat's lips were dangerously close to John's. If he wanted to pull away, this was the time to do it. He swallowed, the sounds around dimming suddenly and everything around him and Karkat becoming a blur. He tilted his head slightly, parting his lips like one of the girls in his 80s action flicks.

Karkat was like the rugged action hero that seems kind of rough around the edges at first, but really means well! That comforted John a little bit. He sure did love his action flicks! Yep. Mhm. Action flicks were the best.

John opened his eyes, flushing. Karkat was gazing back lustfully, his black eyes softer than they had ever been, yet still firm with want.

The kiss, although sloppy thanks to troll custom and John's inexperience, was rather chaste. John was so overwhelmed with insecurity and fear of social isolation (even on a planet where gender apparently didn't matter) that his knees buckled under him, but Karkat easily held him up by his thighs, supporting him against the wall.

Karkat felt John trying to pull away for air, which was impossible thanks to the wall, so he pulled away instead. John still looked apprehensive as he held onto Karkat's shoulders, peeking at the trolls whom had lost interest. He looked down at the symbol on Karkat's shirt, trembling. "Uhm...okay..."

"Okay," Karkat replied, setting John on his feet. He helped the unstable boy stay up as John's legs wobbled.

John clutched Karkat's long sleeves, biting his lip. "O-Okay."


	13. Urgent: Please Respond

"This is for me?" John asked, quirking his brow as he held the neatly wrapped jade package. "But...why?"

Kanaya smiled pleasantly at the boy, patting him gently on the head. "Just open it. It is about time someone gave you the necessities required for a human. I am only being responsible." She gave Karkat a soft, scolding look, receiving a scowl in return.

John was a bit nervous with all the trolls watching him impatiently. With shy hands he opened the package, pulling out what looked like a pair of pajama pants and a hooded t-shirt. The blue on blue color scheme was weird, and he wasn't sure why there was a windy logo on the chest, but he was grateful nonetheless. Black really wasn't his color.

"I researched all of the finest earth garments, factoring in, of course, styles color and age-diversity," Kanaya explained, looking rather proud of herself. "And they are blue to match your eyes. It seems that

John nodded, smiling slightly. "I really like them! But...why does it have a hood if the sleeves are short?" he asked.

Kanaya thought for a moment. "I wasn't exactly sure what the point of these hoods were other than to be aesthetically pleasing."

John shrugged, still smiling. "Well still! I really really like them. And they're really comfy," he laughed, snuggling the clothing. "So thank you a lot!"

Kanaya nodded in return, a maternal smile gracing her green stained lips. "It was a pleasure, I assure you."

"Wait, wait! Heheh, I got you something too!" Terezi jumped and stole the area on the sofa that was directly next to John, almost too close for his comfort. She shoved the green package into his hand, already helping him pluck off the bow.

John pulled his hands back, afraid of Terezi's sharp claws cutting him. "Uhm...thanks for helping me?" he offered as she ripped the package apart to reveal a plush blue dragon. "Oh wow! He's so cute," he laughed, squeezing the plush little fella. "This fabric is really nice!"

Terezi laughed heartily, earning an irritated sneer from Karkat who only wanted to be alone with his new found Matesprit (if they were even that) and his old matesprit was really getting in the way.

"She is a she!" Terezi quipped, plucking one of the button eyes. "What are you gonna name her John? Huh? Heheh," the hyperactive troll asked, picking at her careful stitching with careful precision, something John was baffled by considering she was blind. Her humor reminded him a lot of his best friend Dave and made him a little sad.

"Uhm...I'll name her Violet Beauregarde." There was a long silence before John finally looked up, confused. The trolls had been all talk up until then. "What?"

"That's a really weird name!" Terezi laughed.

"It's Violet from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory," John explained. There was more silence. "You know, she got really puffy and turned violet?"

"Stupid," Karkat sighed, reeling back and walking towards the kitchen.

Gamzee's hive was extremely vacant compared to what it had been in the hours previous. Now all who remained were the trolls that worked in the lab (with the exception of Eridan and Feferi who were royalty and therefore exempt from working at such a young age). Gamzee, however, chose to work so he could spend as much time with his matesprit as possible.

John sighed. He was exhausted from all the dancing and craziness that had gone on before. Trolls sure were weird! He sat on the couch with Terezi while the Trolls cleaned up. They wouldn't allow him to help because he "might do something stupid" in Karkat's words.

"Johnnnn, what's Earth like?" Terezi asked excitedly, her Cheshire grin ever intact. "Do you have any moirails or matesprits or maybe kismesis over there?" she chirped.

John blinked. "Uh...well...I have three really good friends, but my best best friend is Dave. You kind of remind me of him," he commented.

"He sounds pretty amazing already! Heh," Terezi laughed.

John spotted a pen and paper on the desk beside the sofa, and was suddenly struck with an idea. He wrote something down, Terezi trying to look over his shoulder. He handed her the slip.

"You can send emails to Earth right? This is my friend Dave's email, you should talk to him!" John said excitedly.

"Sure," Terezi laughed, pocketing the paper. "I guess!"

John leaned back and smirked triumphantly. This was the best prank ever! Dave would be terrified for sure and that would make John the new cool-guy in town. Not that he cared really, but it still would be funny.

Karkat stormed into the living room with a broom hooked between the crook of his elbow. "Terezi you should be helping, not harassing the human!" he snapped, throwing the broom at her.

She smirked and stuck her tongue out at Karkat before running off to wreak havoc somewhere else, leaving John and Karkat alone.

Karkat sighed as he sat beside John, putting an arm around him that almost went unnoticed has John not laid his head against it before quickly sitting straight again.

"What?" Karkat asked.

"What?" Was John's brilliant reply.

"I don't know, I sat down and you got all fucking tense, gog. Don't give me the third fucking degree," Karkat grumbled, closing his eyes as he laid his head back.

John smiled slightly. "You're just cranky because you are tired!" he scolded, poking Karkat's arm. "I didn't yell at you or anything!"

"Whatever," Karkat murmured. "We should get back to the hive. It's really late."

* * *

><p>Karkat turned on the lights, stretching. Even John, whom had been trapped in the cage for weeks was feeling less excited and jumpy than he had been before.<p>

John slumped onto the couch and sighed loudly. "I'm so tired!" he whined, before perking up. "I want more of those chocolate chip looking tasting things!"

Karkat sat next to him, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "I may as well be watching over a grub. You are out of fucking control," he murmured, dropping his arms to his side. "I can't wait to fucking get rid of you already." He smirked a bit at his own "joke".

When there was no reply, Karkat looked over at John who had the most deliciously dejected look on his face. Karkat could only hold him back for a moment before he pulled John down and nearly attacked the boy's mouth.

A second of confusion overtook Karkat when John started to struggle. He groaned and pulled back, glaring at the boy pinned beneath him. "What is your fucking problem now?" he asked with half-hearted anger. He was more anxious than upset. Was John really planning on making him wait any longer while still flashing those delectable expressions?

"Karkat...I mean...I kind of sort of...maybe kind of a little bit sort of-"

"John," Karkat growled lowly.

"Okay! Okay...I mean. I like you sort of, but I'm also still kind of confused...and I mean I want to make you happy and stuff, but I still think we're really way too young to be doing stuff this...intense!" John explained, pushing against Karkat's shoulders. "So maybe could we please just slow down a little bit? ...Please?"

Karkat got off of the boy, running a hand through his hair. "Fuck. Whatever. Fine," he said, closing his eyes for a moment, his side facing John. "Well I'm fucking going to sleep then."

Before John could try and stop him, Karkat was gone. John strangled the air hopelessly. "Jeez!" he cried, throwing himself onto the couch. He finally got up and followed Karkat to the room. On his way up the stairs and through the hall something grim filled his belly that he couldn't quite place. A feeling he'd never experienced before.

He rested his hand over the burning area, frowning.

* * *

><p>John felt himself being jostled and heard a light yet urgent call of his name. John, John, over and over until the jostling became vigorous shaking a gentle slap of the cheek.<p>

John groaned and finally opened his eyes, Karkat's blurry face coming into view. "What time is it?" he whined, trying to roll away from Karkat's tight grip.

John felt Karkat violently pull him into a sitting position and pull a sweater over his lithe body. John moved accordingly, wondering why Karkat was so hastily trying to dress him.

"Where are we going?" the boy whined, wrapping his arms around Karkat like a tired child would its parent.

With surprising and uncalled for strength and tenderness, Karkat lifted John. John was pleased with the contact and thought briefly of his father who must have been torn up without him. The thought made him sad, but his tired subconscious numbed the sadness and reminded him of his lethargy.

It seemed like years before Karkat answered, but he finally did. "Sollux trolled me. We're going to Gamzee's hive."

"Mmm," John replied, still too exhausted to inquire any further.

In the back of John's sleeping mind he marveled at how easily Karkat could carry him, and for quite a long distance. He wondered why they were going back to Gamzee's and why Karkat seemed so grim.

"Why're we goin' to Gam's?" John slurred, his cheek pressed against Karkat's shoulder and a bit of drool wetting the area his mouth was over.

Karkat hiked John up a bit, shifting the boy's weight so he was more comfortable. "I don't fucking know. Sollux just told me to hurry and said something like it was my fucking job as a moirail or whatever."

"Oh." John suddenly felt that burning ache in his stomach again. He cringed a bit. It was more incessant than before, and his resting conscious seemed to only exacerbate it until he was finally awake and able to walk for himself.

Karkat opened the door to Gamzee's hive. It seemed quiet enough on the outside, but the inside was a completely different story. The stillness was a brazen yelling, what with upturned furniture and bruised and battered walls.

The place was a complete and utter wreck. Karkat and John looked at each other, both sensing the despair in the air, until finally Karkat took off running down the hall, followed by a still slightly dazed and confused John.

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><p><strong>Boring chapter and then a cliffhanger! I'm sure you guys are loving this! uvu<br>**


	14. Moirails

**Oh man, your guy's reviews and messages made me feel really bad about writing this chapter. BUT I'M ALREADY IN TOO DEEP. -Puts on coal miner hat-**

**Let's do this before my cold medicine wears off!**

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><p>John reached the room a few paces before Karkat. He didn't know where to look, the room was so cluttered and busy that his eyes couldn't focus on any one thing.<p>

After his brain processed the mess, he finally settled on looking at his moirail who was absolutely torn apart. He sat on the only plush purple sofa in the destroyed living room, a distraught matesprit curled up in his lap. With shaky hands, Tavros fed Gamzee some sort of weird green gelatine stuff out of a pie tin.

John could barely see the skin underneath the blood that was smeared over Tavros' face and matted in his hair. The burning in his stomach had turned into a quick stabbing and he could barely keep himself up.

Gamzee was nestled against Tavros, squirming uncomfortably with his eyes cast downwards. He clutched anxiously at his shirt here and there, but was otherwise almost unnoticeable. Fresh blood fell from three diagonal ribbons of purple across his face. He looked almost like a child as Tavros fed him, parting his lips only slightly every time to fork came into view.

John took in the other trolls who were clustered slightly to the side, a cacophony of voices trying to talk over one another. Nepeta and Equius were on the floor, the smaller of the two trolls tending to some sort of strangulation wound, while trying not to shake from the weakness caused by her own wounds.

Kanaya was sifting through a first aid-looking kit, frowning as they presumably had few supplies left after treating the injured trolls. Aradia stood beside her, going mostly unnoticed as she generally did.

Eridan and Feferi stood grimly in a corner, speaking to each other in what could be considered less than a whisper. Feferi was crying, and Eridan was trying to calm her down with gentle paps and shooshes.

John took tentative steps towards the next room where Karkat and Sollux were, though he itched to speak with his moirail more.

"Tavros could have died, Karkat," Sollux seethed, his fists clenching as he obviously resisted the urge to hit something or somebody.

"Well Tavros fucking calmed him down, so it's fucking fine!" Karkat snapped, throwing his arms up.

"It's not his job to have to regulate Gamzee's mood, it's yours! You are his moirail, Kar, and you've been completely disregarding him!" Sollux yelled. "Jack's going to ask questions when Tavros doesn't show up for work, and I have half a mind to tell him about your messing around with the human."

"No, fuck Sollux! If you fucking do that...I don't know, he might fucking kill him!" Karkat yelled, clutching at his hair. "Look, I'll try to fucking talk to Gamzee more, okay. Fuck. But Tavros is all right, everyone is all right."

"Yes, because we got lucky. If Equius and Nepeta hadn't come back for Nepeta's coat Tavros would probably be dead and Gamzee would be on a freaking killing spree."

Karkat, rubbed the bridge of his nose, sighing exasperatedly. "I know, okay, I fucking know that and it's all my fucking fault and I've been paying too much fucking attention to John."

"Yes," Sollux agreed, turning away slightly. "Maybe you should try and talk to Gamzee now. It will make him feel better."

Karkat nodded, looking down. He seemed calmer than he'd been since John had first met him. "Have John talk with Tavros too. He's probably ignorant to the duties of a moirail." Sollux added, receiving another nod from Karkat.

Before Karkat could turn and see John's snooping face, John pulled back and leaned against the wall, trying to act natural and failing miserably.

Karkat didn't even seem to notice him, however, as he made his way immediately to Gamzee. After some slight cajoling, Karkat managed to get Gamzee up and led him out of the living room, leaving a still frightened Tavros to sit on the couch alone.

John didn't realize that trolls took their relationships or "quadrants" so seriously. Humans and trolls sure were different. While friendships for humans were just a perk to life, relationships to trolls were almost like a necessity.

John took a seat next to Tavros. It pained him to look at his friend's battered face, but he put on the warmest smile he could muster. "How ya feeling?"

Tavros looked over at him, blinking as if to ask 'When did you get here?' "Okay," the troll said.

"What happened?" John whispered, reaching out to touch one of Tavros' bruises, but deciding against it at the last second.

John barely noticed the slight blush under the blood on Tavros' face. "Uh...okay, wow, so uh, well Gamzee and I were, uh, oh my Gog..."

John laughed a bit, relieved that Tavros was still his same old flustered self despite what had happened.

Tavros scratched the back of his head, wincing when his claw cut into one of his cuts. He pulled his hand away and cringed for an extended period of time before letting out a small sigh. "Well anyway, all of a sudden...Gamzee just, uh, well, he, I don't know...sorry..."

"Take your time," John whispered, patting Tavros' small shoulder.

Tavros swallowed a bit. "W-We were, uh, d-doing...you know, uh, 'it'-" Tavros paused at John's expression. "I, uh, I'm sorry...if you didn't want to know, that." he murmured, fidgeting nervously.

John shook his head. "No, no, it's all right. Go on."

Tavros nodded. "Uhm. So all of a sudden he stopped and sort of stared at me, but not really, uh, at me, sort of more, uhm, kind of through me, like he just lost all his concentration..."

John nodded for him to go on, squeezing his hand comfortingly.

"So I called out to him, and I uh, touched his cheek sort of lightly. And he, uh, all of a sudden grabbed my wrist and squeezed it really tightly, almost until it felt like my wrist would break. His expression...was just so serious," Tavros continued, violent tremors beginning to settle in as he relived the memories.

"It wasn't right...because Gamzee would never hurt me like that. So I knew that there was something wrong," Tavros whispered, looking at his bandaged hands. "If it weren't for my new legs I would have been dead for sure. I got out from under him and I didn't want to run away and leave him like that so I tried to calm him down, but he just started to yell weird things like 'honk' at me."

John shuddered. His worst fear was murderous clowns. He couldn't imagine being chased by one! "I'm so sorry Tavros," he said softly.

Tavros shook his head. "It's all right," he whispered. "But, then he sort of...caught me, and pinned me, and...I was really scared because, I-I didn't want...to remember Gamzee that way, and I was really scared...he started to...hurt me. I was so scared, really really scared..." The troll repeated, but his voice suddenly broke and he couldn't hold in his composure anymore. He doubled over and threw his head into John's lap, beginning to whimper and cry.

John looked completely and utterly helpless. He didn't know what to do other than pet Tavros comfortingly and whisper small bits of encouragement.

Faster than John could possibly process, Nepeta and Equius were beside them on the couch. "That's when we got here!" Nepeta yelled in her childish sort of way.

"Nepeta protected Tavros while I tried to stop Gamzee. He almost strangled me with my bow...in the lewdest of ways," Equius gestured to the thin lines on his neck. "I was basically...incapacitated and that's when he went after Nepeta and Tavros. He grabbed Nepeta's arm and, whether you would like to believe me or not, cut his face with her claw-blades. Then threw her at a wall. She hit her head and was knocked unconscious."

"When I came to, Gamzee was sobbing in Tavros' lap!" Nepeta chirped, though not with the typical joy that would have been accompanied by it.

"He calmed him down somehow, even though they are not moirails. It was...so very, very lewd," Equius rasped, wiping his sweating face with a handkerchief embroidered with a large blue 'EZ'.

John nodded as he slowly took in all the information, still stroking Tavros' hair. "Wow..." he murmured. But really, trolls were violent and aggressive and he knew that. But if Gamzee could go insane and try and kill Tavros, didn't that mean Karkat could just as easily do the same to him? And John didn't have half the fending skills Tavros must have had. "Well you're really strong, Tavros. I don't think I'd be able to be as strong as you if something like that happened!"

Tavros wiped his face, cringing as he pressed against bruising and wounds. "Th-Thanks..."

John watched as Equius and Nepeta left to go help Kanaya and Aradia assess the hive damage before grabbing a nearby towel that was already doused in a bit of blood. He licked a large area and began to clean some of the excess blood from Tavros' face, smiling a bit as the troll wrinkled his nose and squirmed around like an anxious child.

"Uh...I hope this isn't weird, but I have kind of...an unrelated question," John murmuerd, trying to steer clear of any tender areas on the troll's face.

Tavros nodded slightly. "Sure."

"Uhm...you mentioned, what you and Gamzee were doing..." John trailed off, wondering how he could word such an awkward question. "I mean, I'm just wondering when trolls, like, develop...and...start getting active, in that way," he etched out.

Tavros thought for a moment. "Uh, well..." he looked down a bit, shifting his weight to get more comfortable. "I guess it's sort of different for every troll, but typically at five or six sweeps. Uh, but I guess we can start doing that stuff, at uh, even just, maybe, once we're not grubs anymore."

John rubbed his arm. "O-Oh...isn't that a little young though?" he murmured.

Tavros shook his head. "No, not really, I guess...I mean...haven't you done it before?"

John shook his head. "No! I'm only thirteen, gosh, of course I haven't!" he said, turning red. He covered his face with his hands to hide his embarrassment.

Tavros' eyes widened. "You're so old," he gasped. "You're so old! You should have at least done it by now! What age do you think is appropriate for it, then?"

"Uhh...sixteen?" John offered. "I don't know I guess just whenever you're ready to do that."

Tavros leaned back on the sofa, eyes still wide. "That is so old. Humans are really weird."

"Trolls are even weirder," John murmured, leaning back as well. "Uhm...so, do I at least make a good moirail?"

Tavros nodded. "I feel a lot better now."

"Good," John said, and after several moments added: "What will you do about Gamzee?"

Tavros looked at him. "What do you mean?"

John looked at him. "Well, he just...assaulted you, so are you going to, you know, not be his matesprit anymore or something?"

Tavros shook his head vigorously. "No! Of course not, I love Gamzee with all my chest organ and without him I'm even less confident than with him, and I would be really really sad if we weren't matesprits anymore."

John quirked his eyebrow, looking at the ceiling as he leaned back again. "Trolls sure are weird," he mumbled quietly to himself.

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><p><strong>Man I should probably actually proof read this chapter, but I'm not going to. :D So...I hope it's all right, all things considered. <strong>


	15. Something's Missing

**Oh gosh, I just love your reviews, guys. They make me SOOOOOO HAPPPYYYYYY. -Cries happily forever- I think you guys gave me an addiction. To reviews. I am a review addict. It's like a drug to me. Your reviews are like my own special brand of sopor slime. **

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><p>Karkat felt a bit bad about slapping Gamzee as soon as they'd entered the troll's respiteblock, but he was enraged, and with good reason! Well, more enraged than usual at least. "How could you fucking do that to Tavros!" he yelled rhetorically, crossing his arms. "After he's been such a great fucking matesprit to you!"<p>

Compared to Gamzee, Karkat wasn't particularly strong, but the troll was barely holding himself up and thus the slap ended with him on the floor. He looked emotionally exhausted and probably was even beyond that. He merely looked down, his eyes glazed over from the large amount of sopor slime he'd been fed in order to maintain his mood until his moirail arrived to balance him.

"Well?" Karkat demanded fervently, glaring daggers.

"I don't motherfuckin' know..." Gamzee's voice trailed off in an almost inaudible whisper. "I just don't motherfuckin' know."

Karkat sighed and dropped himself beside, Gamzee, pulling him into a one-armed hug. "I don't know what in the fuck I did to deserve such a horrible moirail."

Gamzee gave a half-hearted, yet genuine, smile and leaned his head on the other's small shoulder. "Whatever it is I'm motherfuckin' glad you did it, best friend."

Karkat rolled his eyes, refusing to touch Gamzee's bloody face or hair, so he settled on an awkward shoulder tap. Generally the sight of even a little blood made him sick to his stomach, but he figured that now the situation was dire enough that he could push the hemophobia to the back of his mind.

"Okay Gamzee, I know you don't want to, but you have to tell me what fucking happened." Karkat firmly pressed his hand to the back of Gamzee's neck, careful to avoid getting blood on himself, and forced the troll to look at him, signifying the importance.

Gamzee dropped his gaze for a second before returning it, giving a small nod of affirmation. "Well that's just it. I don't motherfuckin' know what happened."

"Well...just tell me what you remember. Start from the beginning and try to remember everything." Karkat helped Gamzee to prop up against the couch and moved to sit in front of him.

"Ah man, brother, it's kind of embarrassing to say..." Gamzee murmured.

"Whatever! It's fucking fine, I don't care what it is, just tell me," Karkat said irritably, more interested in the events that preceded the accident than he'd previously led on.

Light indigo tinted the revealed areas under Gamzee's eyes, and he embraced his shins, resting his chin on his knees. "Well Tavbro and I were-" he cleared his throat a bit; Karkat had never seen Gamzee particularly nervous before so it was a bit difficult for him to view Gamzee as the same Moirail he'd known since grub-hood. "We were just gettin' our motherfuckin' intimacy on, and...man, I don't know, I just fuckin'...something in my brain just-" Gamzee struggled to search for the right words and eventually gave up. "I don't motherfuckin' know..."

"Well that doesn't fucking help," Karkat sighed angrily, strangling the air. "Whatever, what do you remember after that?"

"I just remember coming to and Tavros was motherfuckin' cowering away and all covered in his own motherfuckin' blood." Gamzee took on an enraged, grim look. "I just remember thinking I would motherfuckin' kill whoever did that to him, but then I realized..." the troll buried his face in his knees and clutched his hair, shaking his head. "I realized it was me he was cowering from and I just motherfuckin' broke down."

Karkat's expression softened a bit. He remembered the few times he'd verbally hurt John and the miserable expression the boy had. He couldn't even imagine going through what Gamzee was. It would probably take Tavros months to get used to Gamzee again.

"Listen, I know things seem really fucking bad and I know Tavros will probably be kind of scared of you for awhile, and the others are gonna be kind of fucking pissed off and maybe not even talk to you for a few weeks, and that Jack's gonna fucking...I don't even know, and-" Gamzee cut Karkat off by clearing his throat a bit. "-Sorry." Karkat murmured. "Well I know things seem pretty shitty right now, but I'm your moirail and it's my duty to fix this whole hodgepodge of a shit fuck mess, so you bet your fucking ass I'm going to."

Karkat could feel Gamzee smile a bit, even as he kept his face hidden. "Thanks, best friend," Gamzee returned, looking up at him a bit. "Your just a motherfuckin bag of miracles."

Karkat sighed with heated exhaustion, rolling his eyes. "Fuck, whatever. Wait to go and ruin a perfectly good moment with your fucking religion shit."

Tavros suddenly peeked into the room, his face properly cleaned and bandaged. "Karkat? Can I, uh, be with Gamzee for a while now, please?"

Karkat nodded, looking down at Gamzee whose energy became more timid and resigned. He shuddered a bit at the strangeness before turning back to Tavros. "Fuck. Sure." He dropped his voice a bit so Gamzee wouldn't hear. "If anything happens, you fucking scream for dear life, all right?" he whispered under his breath.

Tavros gave a nod that was short and understanding, but nothing about him read frightened, which was a bit funny considering the troll was usually a mess of nerves.

Karkat gave Tavros a small pat before going back to the living room. Once he arrived, he collapsed onto the couch and buried his face in an unsuspecting John's lap.

"How did it go?" John asked curiously, petting Karkat like a domestic human cat.

Karkat merely let a long, drawn out "fuck" in reply to the human, causing John to laugh a bit.

"I got to help bandage," John said proudly. "I know how to do it pretty well because my dad taught me. I got hurt a lot as a kid," he babbled.

Karkat was forced to maneuver his head a bit whenever John's fingers got too close to his horns, but otherwise he was perfectly calmed by the small, warm hands caressing his hair.

"All right," Sollux finally spoke up as everyone began packing whatever they'd brought from their hives to help with the situation. He walked to the middle of the room, crossing his arms. "Who's going to stay with Tavros and Gamzee to make sure nothing else happens?"

John perked up. "We will!" he chirped, smiling.

Sollux shook his head. "It has to be someone who's actually capable," he said, rolling his eyes. "Like Equius and Nepeta-"

"No," Equius said immediately. "This entire situation is...already quite lewd. I refuse to add to the lewdness. Especially for a relationship I already do not approve of. A low-blood and a high-blood-" he made a strange gurgle of random consonants and vowels before wiping his sweating face with a light blue handkerchief.

Nepeta laughed at him, crossing her arms. "We could do it Equius! Don't be so mean!"

"Well...I mean shouldn't Karkat and I since we're Tavros and Gamzee's moirails anyway?" John murmured.

"Don't be ridiculous, neither of you would be able to take on Gamzee when he's sober, lest of all you, John," Sollux said, glaring at him.

"Sollux, don't be so rude," Feferi said scoldingly, poking him in the shoulder while he gave a sigh and rolled his eyes behind his glasses.

"Well I'm just saying what everyone else is thinking." Sollux took of his glasses and cleaned the lenses. "But I suppose if you'd be able to hold him off long enough, then it wouldn't be too much of a problem."

"He might not even snap again," Eridan murmured. "And we don't know if being sober is what made him go insane."

John listened as the trolls began to talk and argue, but he felt like something somewhat important was missing. He couldn't exactly put his finger on it, but something was definitely out of place.

Finally, after a lot of convincing, Sollux left Karkat and John to watch over Tavros and Gamzee for the night.

"Karkat?" John asked once they were alone.

"Mm?" Karkat mumbled tiredly.

"Something isn't right," John said, sighing as he stroked the troll's bangs back. "Something is missing...I can't think of what, though."

"Really?" Karkat asked, lacking any real interest.

"Yeah..." John thought hard. "It's on the tip of my head..."

Karkat opened his eyes, yawning. "Well whatever it is, it probably isn't very fucking important if you can't remember," he said, sighing.

"No, but it is, I know it! Something is missing," John said firmly, clapping his hands together as he thought. "Uhm..."

Karkat opened his eyes again, rubbing his temples. "Your 'thought' noises are annoying, John."

John pouted. "You're just being crabby again, Karkat," he scolded, flicking Karkat in the nose. In return, Karkat sneezed, causing John to giggle.

Karkat wrinkled his nose and glared. "What's so funny?" he growled.

John shook his head and looked to the hallway. "Hey Karkat?" he asked.

"What?" Karkat grumbled.

John looked hesitant. He looked down and shook his head. "Never mind..."

Karkat sighed loudly. "Then don't fucking ask me things, if you're not even...going to ask it!"

John laughed a bit at Karkat's jumbled phrasing. "I was just wondering-" Karkat made a noise that signaled John to continue. "I was just wondering...if you'd ever...do that to me?" he asked quietly, picking at random strands of Karkat's thick black hair.

Karkat stared at John for a long while before shaking his head seriously. "I'd never do that to you. What happened- Well it shouldn't have happened. It was a freak thing. I don't think Gamzee will freak out like that again."

"I hope not," John murmured. "I got this really strange feeling in my stomach. I think it's because of what happened to Tavros, and me being his moirail, I musta felt it too a little bit. Is that how moirails work?"

Karkat quirked an eyebrow and shook his head. "Not typically. You're just fucking weird I guess."

John smiled a bit, poking Karkat in the cheek. "You're weirder! Trolls are weird! But it's in a good way, I guess...most of the time," he laughed.

Karkat smiled a bit, "Whatever."

John smiled wider, but after a moment's time it quickly turned into a frown. "Hey Karkat?"

"What?" Karkat asked, closing his eyes.

"I know what wasn't right now," John murmured, fidgeting nervously.

"Oh?"

John cleared his throat, playing with the hem of his shirt. "Vriska was the only one that didn't show up tonight."


	16. Guilty

**You guyysss 333 ahhh, ohhhh, go check my profile for a new Birds of a Feather fanarts! By Mortoboe and Crystalice96, you babus are so precious! Oh gosh I can't stop staring at them they make me so happy, I want to cry! **

**I LOVE GETTING FANART. POSSIBLY MORE THAN I LOVE GETTING REVIEWS. **

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><p>Karkat visibly tensed under John. He'd confided in John, mostly in passing, his deep-seeded bitterness towards Vriska. She'd never really done anything to make him dislike her (besides injuring his Moirail's Matesprit) but he always felt extremely uncomfortable around her. No one could ever tell what she was thinking and her ways were more troll-like than anyone in their group of friends; That is she was very aggressive and intimidating.<p>

John heard a small sigh escape Karkat as he forced himself to relax, possibly because he sensed the bit of panic that John had begun to feel. John wondered if the panic had anything to do with his odd neurological connection with his Quadrants, but figured it was mainly because Vriska had sort of given him the creeps from the beginning.

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><p>Karkat grumbled as he typed on the small keys of his Trollberry, cursing angrily every time his thumb missed the correct letter.<p>

**carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling arachnidsGrip [AG]**

**CG: VRISKA YOU FUCKING FUCKASS. I KNOW WHAT YOU FUCKING DID. **

**CG: ARE YOU THERE?**

**AG: Geeeeeeeez Karkat, do you have any 8dea what time 8t is?**

**AG: I'm b8arely even aw8ke right now! ::::(**

**CG: BULLSHIT**

**AG: I have not idea what you're talking a8out idiot. **

**AG: I'm going 8ack to sleep, 8ecause you have o8viously gone ins8ne. **

**CG: I KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO TAVROS. **

**AG: Oh yeah. I heard a8out that. Couldn't 8e 8othered to show, really. **

**AG: He deserved it for 8eing such a weakling loser faker face. **

**CG: IT'S FUNNY. **

**CG: THEY SAY THAT CRIMINALS USUALLY RETURN TO THE SCENE OF THE CRIME. **

**CG: BUT OH WAIT- YOU WEREN'T HERE BECAUSE YOU DID YOUR FUCKED UP, SICK DEED THROUGH MY MOIRAIL. **

**AG: That's a strong accusation, Karkat. **

**AG: I'd watch myself if I were you. **

**CG: NO. YOU WENT TOO FAR THIS TIME, VRISKA. ONCE JACK HEARS, HE'LL HAVE YOUR FUCKING HEAD. **

**AG: Well I'm sure he'd love to hear a8out your dealings with the human. ::::)**

**AG: AKA, the experiment. **

**AG: And I'm sure he'll 8e all ears when I suggest we actually do some experiments on the experiment.**

**AG: You know, like we've 8een supposedly doing this whole time. **

**CG: ...VRISKA.**

**AG: Jack doesn't like 8eing lied to. ::::D**

**CG: VRISKA I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOG.**

**AG: I'll let you think a8out your next move. **

**CG: THIS ISN'T ONE OF YOUR STUPID FUCKING ROLEPLAYING GAMES. **

**AG: You've got two days 8efore John has to 8e returned to the la8. **

**ArachnidsGrip [AG] ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]**

Karkat swallowed thickly, clutching his phone. He'd never even thought of having to bring John to the lab after the Perigee's Eve festivities came to an end. He wasn't sure if he'd be able to return to an empty hive every day, and quite frankly the thought scared the fuck out of him.

He had to put good faith in Vriska for the first time in his life. If he didn't tell Jack about her murder attempt, maybe he'd be able to hold off on any experimenting on John until he could find a way to ensure his safety. Jack tended to make himself rather scarce, so he figured he could just manipulate the wording of his reports to make Jack believe the job was getting done.

"-Karkat."

Karkat looked up, scratching the back of his head without really thinking about it. He cleared his throat a bit to regain his voice. "What?"

"Well...what happened!" John asked impatiently, throwing his arms up. "What'd you say? What'd she say? Tell me what happened already!"

Karkat looked down guiltily, something he'd never really felt before. "I took care of it. Don't worry." He felt pretty gogdamn selfish, but one glance at his flushes face reinforced his decision. He was lucky to have filled not one, but both of his red quadrants at such a young age, and he wasn't about to let any of that slip away like his lusus had.

John sighed. "Geez Karkat, I can never tell what you're thinking! You're so mysterious sometimes."

A halfhearted, exhausted smile played at Karkat's lips. All he really wanted to do was slip into one of Gamzee's guest recuperacoons and sleep, but John's energy was through the roofs. "Aren't you tired?" he inquired sleepily, the edge taken clear out of his voice.

John jumped off of the arm of Gamzee's purple couch and he threw his arms up in shock. "How can I be tired after everything that's happened!

Karkat laid on the couch and rubbed his eyes with his palms. "I'm fucking exhausted," he murmured, looking at John as the boy paced the room. "You probably shouldn't be this riled up right now."

"Gosh, Gamzee and Tavros are being really quiet! I'm worried. Maybe we should investigate?" John said, putting his hands on his hips.

"Mm..." Karkat grumbled in reply, not really paying attention. He was already beginning to doze off.

John rolled his eyes and waved a hand dismissively at the other. "Well geez, you're no help!" He took off the coat Karkat had given him before they left their hive, and placed it over the sleeping troll. "Well you just sleep now, because you're obviously really super duper tired. I'll just investigate myself."

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><p>John hummed as he entered the hallway, wondering which door led to Gamzee's respiteblock. There was honestly way too many rooms in that house! Even with two trolls inhabiting it.<p>

But finally, after a few minutes of examining all the doors in the hall, he came across one that seemed like it had been used more than the others. John took a moment to admire the wear and tear before slowly opening the door and walking inside. Dim purple lights shined from the ceiling, though only illuminating the room enough to be able to make your way around it.

John carefully stepped over and around the piles of discarded clothes, pie tins, and horns. There didn't seem to be any sign of Gamzee or Tavros. He trembled a bit at the thought, wondering where they could have gone. "K-Karkat!" he yelled, craning his neck as he stood in the middle of the room, a little lost.

Suddenly, something caught his attention. Tavros' head peeked out of the elongated hole of the recuperacoon. His eyes were still closed and he swayed from side to side like that of someone who barely had their wits about them. "John?" he slurred, rubbing slime from his face.

John approached Tavros, smiling at him slightly. He hadn't really had a chance to talk to his Moirail beyond hearing the story of what had happened, and he was still distracted by the commotion the other trolls were causing.

"What are you doing here? Didn't everyone go home?" Tavros murmured, resting his chin on the edge of the recuperacoon.

John nodded. "Karkat and I stayed to make sure you two would be all right...How are you?"

Tavros looked down, John following his Moirails gaze to find a sleeping Gamzee curled up around Tavros' waist. "Fine..."

John smiled slightly. "I, uhm...you know, we figured out-"

"It was Vriska. I think," Tavros sighed, rubbing his temples in irritation. "It took me a while to get it, but I...I know."

John frowned, sitting on his knees in front of the recuperacoon. "Aren't you upset?" he asked, taking a moment to look over Tavros' unbandaged face. His eyes drifted down to Tavros' bare chest where he noticed, for the first time, a gaping wound in the middle of it. "Woah! Why didn't you say anything about that!" he asked, eyes wide. "Should I go get a first aid kit?"

Tavros looked down, brushing his fingers over the wound. "No, it's fine. I bandaged it up myself earlier."

"I'd be so angry if I were you!" John gasped. "She went way too far, even if trolls are supposed to be meanies!...No offense or anything, you're really nice! And everyone else seems really nice too!"

Tavros smiled a bit. "I'm not really mad. I'm just frustrated that she used Gamzee...he's really shaken up about all of this."

John watch Tavros for a moment. "For what it's worth, she's completely wrong."

"How do you mean?" Tavros asked, shifting his weight a bit. The slime in his coon sloshed a bit as Gamzee moved around, making small groaning noises.

"Well...gosh, you've got to be the strongest most not weak person I know. After everything- If I were you I would be terrified. I wouldn't even be able to function right!" John said, nodding vigorously. "And you just recovered so fast and I mean...even with your legs and everything. And you're just such a happy person and I really like being around you..."

Tavros blushed slightly, holding his cheek in a haphazard attempt to hide it. "Gosh, you're embarrassing me...I'm actually really, uh, terrified, you know..."

"You don't even look it!" John praised.

"Well I'm just used to Vriska's shenanigans...I guess," Tavros said with a small laugh, scratching the back of his head. "I think she wants to be Kismesis', but I just want us to be...you know, normal."

"Like friends?" John asked.

Tavros nodded. "Yeah, I, uh, I guess...But after I rejected her Matespritship proposal at first, I guess she's still really unhappy with me."

"Woah! Wait! What?" John asked, trying to keep his voice down as he heard Gamzee begin stirring more.

Tavros turned bright orange, clearing his throat awkwardly. "I, uh...yeah. She kind of, uh, sprang the kiss on me all of a sudden, so I didn't...really know what to do."

John's eyes grew even wider.

"But then, uh, I sort of returned her feelings but she was already really, uh, bitter at me. And then I kind of got really sad...because I was sort of excited about having a quadrant filled. Gamzee sort of saw how sad I was and started to hang out with me more, and then...then he admitted his feelings, and I reciprocated and...well," Tavros gave a light shrug.

"Wow..." John whispered. "Trolls sure are weird!"

Tavros laughed a bit. "I suppose so...shouldn't you be asleep right now?"

"I just wanted to make sure you were all right," John said.

Tavros smiled and gave John's head a gentle pat. "I've got to have the best Moirail in all of Alternia!"

John laughed, blushing. He scratched the back of his head and gave a soft yawn.

* * *

><p><strong>Please excuse how retardedly I ended this chapter. |D ...and excuse this whole chapter in general, actually...<br>**


	17. This is Awkward

**WELP INSTEAD OF SLEEPING IN PREPARATION FOR ANOTHER WEEK OF SCHOOL I WROTE ANOTHER CHAPTER OF GAY ALIEN ON HUMAN FANFICTION YYAAAYYY.**

**Also go check out the fanart done by artykawaii! Of one of my favorite scenes! u  
><strong>

* * *

><p>"Geez! I'm exhausted!" John cried, throwing himself on Karkat's couch. Karkat closed the front door silently, walking to the couch where he fell on top of John, causing the boy to sputter after exerting a highpitched squeaked. "Gosh Karkat you're kind of heavy for such a little guy!"<p>

Karkat wrinkled his nose and covered John's mouth, growling slightly. "I fucking told you to get sleep at Gamzee's hive!" he snapped.

"Well how can you expect me to get any sleep with everything that happened!" John huffed. "I slept for a little while but Tavros was having nightmares, even in the slime, whatever that's supposed to mean, so we made cookies all night instead!"

"You're fucking weird," Karkat groaned, rolling off of John. "Well...I guess you should try and get some sleep now. I'm still fucking exhausted too. This was all...just fucking crazy."

John nodded in agreement. "Hey Karkat?" he asked, watching the troll force himself up from the ground.

"What do you want?" Karkat asked, rubbing his head as he blinked languidly.

John smiled. "Maybe you can try sleeping with me in my bed? I...I kind of like to cuddle and stuff, and I usually have all my stuffed animals to cuddle with, but now I don't so it's kind of hard to sleep at night."

Karkat watched him for a moment, a slight sneer on his face and hesitance apparent in his expression. Despite this; Karkat was actually elated. He felt like he was sort of falling into a moirallegiance with John, and he could never compete with Tavros as a moirail, even if he wanted to. The fact of the matter was, he had flushed feelings for John and there wasn't enough room for two moirails in the pale quadrant.

Maybe this way, Karkat thought, he'd be able to solicit at least some sloppy makeouts. According to John's foolish earth movies, the bed was a rather intimate place for humans. Suddenly a thought occurred to him. Maybe this was one of John's idiotic human customs? Maybe he was propositioning Karkat to take their relationship to a more passionate level.

Karkat blushed a bit at the thought. He couldn't say he wasn't excited because in truth, he was almost like a giddy school girl.

"Karkat?"

Karkat snapped back into reality. "Oh...fuck. What?"

John laughed, his face almost too-close for comfort to Karkat's. "Geez you just checked out on me for a minute! I was kind of freaked out," he laughed.

Karkat frowned, looking away. "Well...whatever. Go upstairs and get the bed ready, I'll be up soon."

John nodded and padded off excitedly. He was pretty dang tired!

Karkat waited until John was gone before grabbing his laptop and turning it on. "Shit shit shit," he whispered, logging into his trollian account. "Fuck fuck fuck, please be online..." he scrolled through the online handles before the indigo name flashed blatantly at him. "Fuucckk, thank Gog."

**carcinoGeneticist** began trolling **terminallyCapricious **

**CG: HEY FUCKASS. YOU BETTER BE AT YOUR COMPUTER. **

**TC: HeY kAr. WhAt'S uP? :o) **

**CG: UH...NOTHING. BUT I THINK JOHN MAY BE PROPOSITIONING ME. **

**TC: Oh YeAh? CoN-mOtHeRfUcKiNg-GrAtS. **

**CG: I NEED YOUR HELP.**

**CG: BECAUSE...**

**CG: SHIT THIS IS FUCKING STUPID.**

**TC: :o?**

**CG: FUCK I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. **

**TC: Aw MaN jUsT dO wHaT fEeLs RiGhT. **

**CG: WOW. YOU'RE NO FUCKING HELP DICKWAD. **

**TC: ThAt HuRtS kArKaT yOu GoTtA mOtHeRfUcKiN sImMeR dOwN. **

**CG: YOU'RE TELLING ME TO SIMMER DOWN AFTER WHAT HAPPENED LIKE TWO DAYS AGO. FUCK GAMZEE YOU'RE UNBELIEVABLE. SHOULDN'T YOU BE SLEEPING RIGHT NOW ANYWAY. **

**TC: I'm WaTcHiNg TaVbRo SlEeP. hE's JuSt ToO cUtE. pLuS i'M mAkInG sUrE hE dOeSn'T hAvE aNyMoRe NiGhMaReS. **

**CG: I DON'T CARE GAMZEE. **

**CG: UGH THIS WAS A WASTE OF TIME. THANKS FOR NOTHING. **

**CG: I SERIOUSLY DON'T KNOW WHY WE'RE MOIRAILS. YOU SERIOUSLY SUCK. **

**TC: ;o)**

**carcinoGeneticist **ceased trolling **terminallyCapricious**

Karkat shut his laptop angrily. That was the most pointless, wasteful, document filling piece of shit he'd ever experienced in his life. He couldn't get rid of the feeling that somewhere, a sixteenyear old fuckass with weird orange hair was controlling his life and trying to make it as stupid, pathetic, and time-consuming as possible.

He shoved the thought aside because it was the stupidest thing he'd ever thought in his life. Orange hair? Preposterous. "Ugh...fuck. I'm really tired," he grumbled, scratching the back of his head.

He huffed and rubbed the bridge of his nose, running up the stairs and to his room. He opened the door, pausing in the archway. "J-John! Wh- I- Hu- WHAT THE FUCK!" he yelled, turning bright red. He put his hand over his face, trembling from embarrassment. "I...how did you...FUCK!"

John looked up, adjusting the bucket on his head with a laugh. "I found this in your closet!" he said cheerily. "I look like a robot or something. Beep boop!"

Karkat's shoulders shrugged nearly to his ears and he just about ripped the bucket from John's head. The metallic handle caught under John's chin, choking him a bit before coming loose. Karkat stuffed the object under his shirt, looking absolutely enraged. He hit John up the side of the head and pointed at him accusingly. "No! That's bad!" he hissed, shoving the bucket back into the closet and slamming the door shut. He braced himself against the closed door, shaking.

John held his head, whimpering involuntarily. "I-I'm sorry..." he murmured. "I just thought it would be funny..."

"Well it fucking wasn't!" Karkat yelled, slamming his fist on the closet door.

John jumped, turning his face into his shoulder and looking down. "You don't need to yell Karkat...I just put a bucket on my head, it's not a big deal..."

"Don't SAY that!" Karkat growled, covering his ears. "Gog John, do you have ANY fucking shame! I mean come ON!"

John looked down, silently fidgeting with Liv Taylor's ears. "I just wanted to make you laugh..." he murmured.

"Well you didn't. That's fucking disgusting!...Get the fuck out of my respiteblock!" Karkat finally decided, gathering up John's make-shift bed and throwing it into the hallway.

"But Kar-"

"I said out!" Karkat yelled, shoving him through the doorway and slamming it closed.

John bit his bottom lip, sniffing. "What the heck..." he said softly, wiping tears from his eyes. "I just wanted to make him smile Liv..." John pressed on Liv's shoulder seams, making her arms move up and down. "It's not your fault John, Kar's just being a big meanie," he said in a higher-pitched voice. "You're right Liv," he answered, closing his eyes. "I really don't know what his problem is!"

* * *

><p>"John?" Gamzee tilted his head, peeking over John's head. "Where's Karkat?" he asked curiously, ushering him inside. His eyes widened a bit. "Did something happen?"<p>

John scratched the back of his neck. "Well...sorta...I just really need to talk to Tavros."

Gamzee sighed a bit. "I'll get you some motherfuckin faygo. I kinda don't wanna wake Tavbro right now because he's sleeping more peacefully than he has in awhile."

"That's all right," John murmured, looking down with a bit of dejection. He flopped Liv Taylor's ears, biting his lip.

Gamzee disappeared into the Nutriblock and returned moments later with two bottles of ice cold faygo. "How did you motherfuckin find your way here?"

John shrugged. "I'm...not really sure. I got a little lost but I guess I sorta found my way after awhile."

"It's dangerous for you to be walking out by your motherfuckin self, you know," Gamzee chastised. "Karkat'd rip you a new one."

John sighed. "He already sort of did."

Gamzee's eyebrows raised and he gave a sly smile. "The ol' motherfucker did it, huh? I didn't think he had the bulge."

John knit his eyebrows, tilting his head. "Uh...okay, whatever that means..."

"You and Kar got all motherfuckin nice and cozy under the blankets, amiright?" Gamzee said, nudging John's arm with his elbow.

John blushed. "Wh-What! No! No, not like that!..." he thought for a moment before understanding the what had brought on such an assumption. "Oh! That's gross Gamzee," he huffed, brushing his bangs from his face. "No...gosh. Karkat got mad at me because I found a bucket in his closet and I wore it as a hat because I thought it would be funny, but he just yelled at me and kicked me out of his room!"

Gamzee was silent. He simply stared at John before letting out a laugh. "Oh! You were motherfuckin' joking. I didn't know you were into those motherfuckin dirty jokes," he laughed, taking a swig of his faygo.

"No...I was serious. I just wanted to make him smile or laugh or something, because I looked sorta like a robot!" John laughed.

"Oh fuck-" Gamzee gasped, spitting his drink out. "Hopy shit, you seriously wore Kar's bucket on your head?" he asked seriously.

"Uh...yeah?" John murmured.

Gamzee's bottom lip trembled before he burst into laughter. "Fuck! That's fucking hilarious, I could all motherfuckin imagine his face all embarrassed and whatever. Haha...Gog that's fuckin awesome. You're motherfuckin awesome, John."

John looked down, not even a hint of laughter on his face. He sniffed and pulled his knees to his chest, resting his head against them.

"Hey...best friend?" Gamzee nudged John a little, causing him to burst into tears. "Oh shit-"

"I don't know what to do Gamzee!" John sobbed, trying to control his voice as much as possible under the circumstances. "I just want Karkat to be happy, but all I do is mess up! He probably hates me! I don't even know what's wrong with the stupid bucket thing! What's so wrong with a bucket?"

Gamzee blushed a bit at the repetition of such a taboo word. "Hey...don't, uh...shit maybe I should wake up Tavbro," he murmured.

John shook his head, hugging Gamzee around the waist. "Th-That's okay! I just need someone to cry on," he sniffed, shaking as he held onto the troll.

Gamzee held his arms up unsure of what to do. Dealing with his matesprit's breakdowns was easy. He was used to it, but he couldn't say he was really sure of what to do for John, so he settled with an awkward patting of the human's back and a quiet mantra of "there there".

An hour or so passed by before John finally fell asleep, still clinging to Gamzee. "Motherfuckin' Kar," he murmured, rubbing the back of his head.

He shifted a bit, careful not to wake John as he reached for his phone.

**TerminallyCapricious **began trolling **carcinoGenetisict**

**TC: LeArN tO tAkE cArE oF yOuR mOtHeRfUcKiN mAtEsPrIt. :o(**

**TC: MoThErFuCkEr.**

**TerminallyCapricious **ceased trolling **carcinoGenetisict**

Karkat saw his phone as it began to flash indigo. He sighed. Gamzee was probably going to ask how it went with John. He couldn't even bare to check the message and return a pathetic reply so he deleted the window, not even bothering to read whatever congratulations Gamzee had sent him. It would just remind him how much of an asshole he was being.

He felt bad kicking John onto the couch, but he knew that the cheerful boy would probably forget about it and make him "pancakes" in the morning again.

The thought actually made him smile a little.


	18. Innuendo

**God I love sexual innuendo. But it's not actually until the end of the chapter. :B**

**This chapter is somewhat a filler. It's not...the most exciting chapter, so I apologize for that, but I need to regroup my thoughts on this for a moment because the ending I have in mind is a bit...jumbled, and as it comes up sort of quickly here I should probably at least have that thoroughly planned out. XD;;;**

**It's also a shorter chapter than usual. I'M SORRY YOU GUYS I LOVE YOU.  
><strong>

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><p>"Where is he?" Karkat growled, a sweating, panting mess. He wiped his brow and tried to stride past Gamzee, but was blocked by the bigger male.<p>

"Take a motherfuckin moment to calm down, brother. You bein' all edgy and stressful; That's what made him motherfuckin run away in the first place," Gamzee said, tousling Karkat's fluffy hair.

Karkat growled at him. "Just fucking let me in already! I'm fucking pissed off, Gamzee, you can't even understand the multitude of shittery I'm experiencing right now. I can't fucking lose my Matesprit- Fuck if I can even call him that after last nigh!- _and _property of the fucking lab, okay? Jack will fucking kill me."

Gamzee examined his fingernails, humming under his breath. "You're not acting very motherfuckin calm, best friend. Just chill out, okay?"

Karkat strangled the air in frustration. "Listen, I need to fucking get John back to the lab before it starts raining again, okay? So let me the fuck in?"

Gamzee eyed him for a moment before moving back from the doorway, swinging the door open a bit.

Karkat sighed with relief, rolling his eyes. "Fuck. Finally." He took a step forward, only to have the door slammed his face. "GAMZEE!" he screamed, his voice rising several pitches. He banged his forehead against the door and slid to his knees. "I fucking hate you. Worst fucking moirail ever," he growled to himself.

John peeked out from the nutriblock (which the kitchens on Alternia were supposedly called. It seemed oddly unnecessarily long!) and sniffed as some flour tickled his nose. "Who was at the door?" he asked curiously.

"Just some angry motherfucker," Gamzee shrugged, making his way back to where he, John and Tavros were making pastries to bring back to the lab once work started up again.

"You know, I had a thought," John said, popping a semi-sweet morsel into his mouth. "Does anyone even do any work at the lab? The only people that were really ever there was Karkat and you," he said to Tavros. "And Gamzee, but he was just following you so he doesn't count."

Gamzee frowned playfully. "That's not very motherfuckin nice, brother."

Tavros laughed. "Well it is true. We uh, don't really go anywhere without each other," he said, leaning his head on Gamzee shoulder as he stirred some sort of weird green dough.

Gamzee leaned down and kissed Tavros' nose, reaching up to caress his lover's cheek and then brush some hair behind his ear. "Man you're so motherfuckin cute. I'm fuckin lucky, you know that?"

John sighed, kicking his legs as they dangled over the counter. "Gosh, I don't really know," he murmured, scratching the back of his head. "I kind of...I don't know. I feel like maybe I like Karkat, but I think I just wanna be his friend. I mean even if I was a homosexual, which I'm still not too sure if I am, shouldn't I be with someone who's like Gamzee? All nice and loving and whatnot. Isn't that how relationships are supposed to be?"

Tavros looked up at him, leaning his elbow on the counter as he continued to stir. "Well I think you and Karkat make, uh, perfect matesprits."

"Why do you think that? All I do is make him angry and stuff...I'm a really bad matesprit," John sighed, leaning back.

"Nonsense, Karkat is just angry at...well, everything," Tavros laughed. "But you two are perfect because you have such contrasting personalities. It's like...when there's a fire, and you cover it with water and it, uh, goes out, you know? And then everything is neutral. What does homosecle mean anyway? I don't get it."

"Well..." John blushed slightly. "I mean, I'm not a homophobe, but, you know...it's like you guys," he murmured.

"So...it means motherfuckin badass motherfuckers?" Gamzee asked seriously, putting his hands on Tavros' shoulders. "That's real mtherfuckin kind of you to say."

John blinked. "I- What? No! That's not what it means," he laughed. "You know it's like...when a boy and a boy like each other, or a girl and a girl?"

"Humans have a word for that?" Tavros asked, raising an eyebrow.

"That's motherfuckin weird," Gamzee added.

"Well, I guess because it's only natural for girls and boys to be together because they can have babies together and a guy and a guy or a girl and a girl can't really naturally have babies together," John murmured, becoming a bit more embarrassed as he spoke about it.

"Baby..." Tavros whispered, looking at Gamzee for help, but his matesprit only shrugged and shook his head, indicating he had no idea what that meant.

"It's like a little human," John elaborated. "When humans are first born they're called babies."

"Grubs," Tavros laughed. "Wait..." He thought for a moment. "So...humans are..."had" like when a, uh, bird hatches a chick? You were born in an egg?" he asked John, eyes wide with wonder.

"Oh geez..." John stammered, turning impossibly red. "I uh, gosh this is sort of hard to explain. Uhm...well when a mommy and a daddy really love each other they have babies by uh, doing...procreational stuff or whatever."

Tavros looked at Gamzee. "Mommy and daddy?" he whispered inaudibly.

Gamzee shrugged and shook his head more vigorously than before.

John shook his head as well, trying to get the thoughts out of his head. "Well, uh! Forget that stuff! The point is I'm not really sure if I like Karkat in a romantic way. I mean I do like him. And maybe sort of more than friends, but...I just don't know. It's really strange. All these feelings."

"It shouldn't be," Tavros said. "Love is love and friendship is friendship. What's, uh, so confusing?"

"Well...on earth homosexuality so sort of...socially unaccepted by a lot of people and I'm already made fun of a lot by the kids in my neighborhood and when I used to go to school because I'm so weak and weird," John rambled. "I mean I like Karkat, I even don't mind that he yells at me all the time, but I don't think I'm able to deal with the social stigma...I guess trolls wouldn't understand, though."

Tavros laughed slightly. "Trolls have, uh, things in our society that are considered socially unacceptable too. Like Gamzee and I. He's royalty, and I'm...well...near the very end of the Hemospectrum. Outside our group of friends, our relationship is looked down on pretty intensely."

John crossed his arms nervously, looking down. "Gosh...I didn't know," he murmured. "That makes me think of the Prince and the Pauper...wait, that doesn't make any sense."

"Well the point is," Tavros continued. "Gamzee and I really love each other, and uh, no one will ever change that, even if they don't like it."

"I guess you're right," John sighed. "But, I mean, gay _and _having an alien boyfriend? I don't think anyone would even believe that when I get back to earth," he chuckled.

Tavros and Gamzee looked at each other uncertainly, the air around them becoming awkwardly heavy. A few moments went by before John finally noticed their hesitance.

"...I'm going back to earth eventually right?" John asked weakly.

Neither Tavros or Gamzee could express their knowledge on the matter in a sensitive matter, so the awkward silence went on for quite some time. Finally, Gamzee's phone vibrated a blinked red. He sighed in relief and picked it up, reading the message.

"Oh fuck! I forgot I left Karkat outside," he said hurriedly, going to let the angry (and quite possibly drenched) troll inside.

John looked at Tavros, fidgeting. "Right?" he asked.

"I've calmed down," Karkat ground out to Gamzee, standing just outside the hive's door. "May I...please, come inside?" the venom was spilling out of his voice as he spoke, and his face gave away any facade he may had been able to manage.

John watched Tavros for a moment before jumping off the counter and going to his matesprit. "Hey Karkat! You're all wet," he laughed jovially, scratching behind Karkat's ears in an attempt to pacify him.

Karkat visibly relaxed a bit. "I fucking hate rain. You're going to fuckin pay for making me walk all the way out here fuckass."

"You really are like a cat," John said, embracing Karkat tightly. "I won't leave again, okay?"

Karkat sneered slightly, more confused than repulsed. "Whatever," he murmured. "Jack's gonna kill me once he finds out I took you to my hive...but I guess walking in a downpour is a bad idea. Gamzee, we're staying at your hive and I won't hear a fucking word against it."

Gamzee smiled and shrugged. "Aint not motherfuckin skin off my back, brother. Just don't be all ruinin my furniture with your matesprit shenanigans."

"Ew," John murmured, wrinkling his nose. "That's really gross Gamz."

Gamzee smiled dreamily, closing his eyes and holding his hands up in surrender before retreating back to the nutriblock.

"Listen John, I'm fucking sorry...okay?" Karkat murmured, averting his eyes. "You just...surprised me."

"It was just a buck-"

"Don't say it!" Karkat hissed. "Do humans have no shame with what they do with their buckets?"

"Well...we just put water in them for like cleaning and stuff," John said, resting his head on Karkat's damp chest. "Like when you wash windows or a car or something."

Karkat turned red. He should have known John's lax composure toward such a lewd object was due to cultural ignorance. "Whatever. I'm sorry."

"You know. You act all mean and stuff, but you're really just a big old kitty cat, meow," John teased, kissing Karkat lightly on the lips.

Both parties tensed, equally shocked at the sentiment. John pulled away and brushed at his shirt. "I uh...you got me all wet," he murmured.

Karkat nearly facepalmed at the statement. "I dunno we'll take a shower or something. I'm freezing my fucking ass off out here anyway."

John blushed. "B-But...we'd see each other's...no-no's," he whispered, looking around anxiously. "That's really inappropriate, you know."

Karkat rolled his eyes exaggeratedly. "You are a fucking idiot Egbert." He grabbed the boy's wrist and led him through the halls and upstairs, having known his moirails hive rather well.

John looked down, sighing quietly. Dave always called him Egbert...or Egderp, it really depended, but the point was he missed his friend. Was he really never going to be sent back to earth? Couldn't he just go back and forth from Alternia to his homeworld? And what about his dad and his other friends? He had to contact them somehow.


	19. Muffins Good for the Soul

**Does anyone remember the Lemony Snicket Series? Good series, best series. **

**New fanart! Go check it out on my profile~ Thank you Raika-chan! And also xxVindictive, but since you sent me your fanart privately rather than posting it on an art sharing site, I'll wait and get your permission first~ **

**Oh yeah and plot plot plot plot plot plot . **

**Did I mention plot? This is sort of where it starts to get mentioned. -Eyebrow wiggles-**

**19 Chapters in and the plot it only just now getting started. I'M A PROCRASTINATOR LEAVE ME ALONE. **

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><p>Karkat rubbed his exhausted eyes. There were his tell-tale bags that never ceased to leave; Only become more exacerbated as the hours ticked on. How had he even gotten back to the labs? He could hardly remember. Had he remembered to bring John? He looked back, the little blue lump was snug in his cage, finding solace in the warmth of a large comforter.<p>

Karkat looked back to his paperwork, groaning. It was a rare occasion for him to prefer being at his hive than at the lab but, for some reason, the hive felt five hundred million times nicer with John there. It was less lonely, less abysmal.

He looked down at the computer screen in front of him. His third attempt to writing the draft of an appeal to Jack for permission to take John to his hive after every work day in order to examine and study him more closely was coming along...less than good...ly.

Gog he was tired.

He yawned, throwing his pen onto the counter and leaning back a bit in his chair. He closed his eyes, unconsciously beginning to hum a bit. He felt a peaceful calm rather than his usual jackassery, and he couldn't deny that it felt sort of...nice.

"Karkat."

Karkat groaned. John always managed to bother him at the most inopportune of moments. Couldn't he sleep for five fucking seconds? Oh shit. He had dozed off for a while there, hadn't he? Finally he opened his eyes, looking at the boy, though only taking in the sight of a black blur. As the image became clearer, he pursed his lips a bit.

"Are you wearing my fucking clothes again?" he murmured dryly. "Why?"

"Just your shirt."

"Oh." Karkat closed his eyes again, settling his head on his own shoulder. He yawned again, his head swimming as it nearly rolled forward.

"Karkat?"

Karkat opened his eyes again, smiling slightly at John. "What the Fuck do you want? Really," he said, looking down. Suddenly he noticed something...off. Literally. "John. Where in the Hell are your pants?" Honestly, he was too fucking tired for all these shenanigans.

John turned a bit red, fidgeting with his glasses. "Oh, uh, well..." he stammered.

Karkat's gaze was pulled down again. John's "no-no's", as humans called it, was unfortunately just barely hidden by the hem of Karkat's shirt, which the boy was rather consumed by. He wasn't surprised, however, considering his shirts were too big, even on him, but he wasn't the typical size a troll of his age was supposed to be, but he digressed. Who thinks about clothing when their matesprit is standing half naked in front of them, looking all fucking cute and bashful and whatever.

"Wait. How did you get out of your cage?" Karkat asked, quirking a brow.

John blushed more. "You...you left it unlocked."

"Oh," Karkat murmured. He wasn't surprised, really, he felt extremely lethargic and locking John up was the last thing he could really bother to exert excess energy on.

John shifted his weight between each of his feet before he finally stepped forward and crawled into Karkat's lap, nuzzling him.

Karkat first took note of John's soft hair. It felt nice rubbing against his face. It was nice and silky. The second thing he noticed was holy fuck his matesprit was coming on to him and holy shit what was he supposed to do in this situation.

Gamzee had told him what to do...but fuck him dry, Karkat couldn't remember.

"Woah, what the fuck!" Karkat cursed when he suddenly felt a wet tongue laving his neck. "Weren't you the one just fucking being all...I don't know, weird about all this fucking shit?" he asked hurriedly. But then again John _had _handled his bucket without even a little bit of indignity.

"I changed my mind," John said simply, kissing up Karkat's neck and jaw.

"Oh fuck..." Karkat sank down in his chair a bit. "Fuck why are you so good at this," he grumbled rhetorically, closing his eyes.

"Mm, Karkat," John whispered reaching up to massage one of Karkat's sensitive horns. The troll's eyes nearly rolled back into his head and he couldn't help but go slack-jawed.

"Fucking...oh Gog, yes," Karkat moaned, trembling. He placed his hands on John's hips, pulling him closer and burying his face in his matesprit's chest. This was just the sort of action he was aching for, and his idiot moirail had been right about one thing; It really wasn't as hard as it seemed.

Karkat closed his eyes as John continued to massage his horns, but suddenly the boy stopped. Karkat's eyebrows furrowed, and he opened his mouth to protest, but was interrupted.

"Why aren't you working?"

And he could have sworn that sounded like- He opened his eyes, freezing when he saw that it was no longer John preening him but instead his enigmatic boss.

He kicked the man off, his voice caught in his throat.

* * *

><p>John was roused into consciousness by Karkat's shrill scream. He sat up, rubbing his eyes. "Geez Karkat, I think you had a bad dream," he murmured tiredly, stretching.<p>

Karkat rubbed his temples, his stomach churning. He felt like he would throw up at any moment. That was such an...odd dream. "This. Is why. You always. Fucking. Sleep. In the slime," he growled, clutching his chest as the organ beneath it drummed unceasingly.

John watched him. "What did you dream about? Or...er...nightmare about?" he asked curiously, hugging Karkat to comfort him. "Geez! You're all sweaty! You must've had a really bad dream."

"It...was," Karkat promised. "Well. Actually the beginning was pretty fucking awesome. It just got kind of terrifyingly disturbing at the end."

"What was the awesome part?" John asked, smiling. "At least it wasn't all bad!"

Karkat rolled his eyes and laid back in his and John's "nest", a giant bundle of blankets and pillows because John refused to sleep in a vat of slime. "Fucking nothing okay."

"Well gosh, I wish you would just tell me things!" John huffed. "You're always keeping everything from me even though you should probably be telling me since we're matesprits, right?"

Karkat smiled a bit at how ruffled John was getting over this. "You'd probably just fucking hit me or something stupid like that if I told you."

John blinked, trying to think. "Was there two of me?" he gasped. "And you didn't know which one was the real John, but one was an evil John and you were on a rainy roof and both of the Johns got mixed up and you accidentally shot the good John!...Me!"

Karkat silently watched John who was now smiling goofily. "What in the fuck goes on in your mind?" he asked, and then shook his head. "Never mind. I really don't want to fucking know."

"What was the bad part of your dream?" John asked quickly, his mood calming slightly.

Karkat grimaced, crossing his arms. "I don't know. Just...Ugh. Jack. I just..." he placed his hands back at his sides. "I don't fucking know...it's just..."

John squirmed through their blanket pile, snuggling up close to Karkat. "Okay, well if you feel like you're going to have a bad dream again you can just hug me and I'll make sure that all the bad dream vibes go away, okay?"

Karkat watched him, biting his lip a bit. "Yeah. Whatever."

John smiled, closing his eyes. "Okay, good."

"Yeah," Karkat murmured, moving a bit closer to John and pulling the blankets over them. He smiled despite himself and moved so John was curled up against the curve of his body and then placed a gentle kiss on his head. "Goodnight."

He waited a few moments for a reply before clearing his throat. "Goodnight," he repeated, this time more loudly.

There was still no reply. He tilted his head up, watching John closely before he realized the boy had fallen asleep almost immediately after his eyelids met. Karkat rolled his eyes, pulling John close.

* * *

><p>Karkat was led to the kitchen by a delightful aroma. He walked in and noticed first, John and Tavros eating some peculiar looked muffins, and Gamzee at the oven, taking out another tray of aforementioned muffins.<p>

He sat at the table, joking internally about never eating anything Gamzee's gotten his hands on before he put his head in his hands and cursed.

"Dammit. Fuck you Gamzee," Karkat growled, drawing the attention of the disoriented troll. He merely smiled and set the tray down on the table in front of his moirail.

"What's motherfuckin up, brother?" Gamzee asked, leaning on his palm.

"Are you fucking feeding sopor slime to our fucking matesprits?" Karkat asked with a growl.

"Just a motherfuckin little bit," Gamzee said, his eyes half-lidded. "Man it's not gonna motherfuckin kill him, you know."

"You don't know how that toxic shit will handle in his stomach. Maybe it'll fucking kill him you fucking moron!" Karkat yelled, slamming his hands on the table.

Gamzee held his hands up defensively. "He'll be motherfuckin fine, all right?" he asked. "So what was all that motherfuckin ruckus you were making all night?"

Karkat turned red and looked away, scratching the back of his neck. "None of your fucking business. I'm fine."

"Didn't sound motherfuckin fine with you all up and screaming all night long. You woke Tav up from a good motherfuckin dream," Gamzee said, taking a bite of what possibly could have been his fifth muffin that morning.

"Whatever," Karkat murmured, sinking down in his chair. "It was just a fucking nightmare okay."

"Man you sounded motherfuckin miserable."

Karkat shrugged. "I just keeping thinking about fucking Jack and the lab and fucking...I don't know. Fucking everything."

Gamzee tapped the table with his finger tips, humming lowly. "Yup. That sounds pretty motherfuckin miserable."

"Thanks," Karkat murmured.

"Plus it's all on your motherfuckin shoulders," Gamzee added. "Since you're Jack's favorite and all."

"Yeah," Karkat sighed, rubbing his eyes as they began to throb and he realized just how much sleep he'd lost thanks to his night away from the recuperacoon.

"And all the others are counting on you. Even John, and he doesn't even motherfuckin know it," Gamzee said thoughtfully.

Karkat growled, throwing his head into his folded arms. "Have I fucking mentioned you're the worst fucking moirail?" he hissed.

Gamzee grinned stupidly, leaning forward. "But I motherfuckin believe in you and shit. Even more than all the miracles in the world."

Karkat looked up at him, nibbling on his bottom lip. "You think so?"

"I motherfuckin know so," Gamzee said, poking Karkat on the nose. "And everyone else motherfuckin believes in you too, so don't motherfuckin let us down."

Karkat looked down at the table, closing his eyes in silent contemplation. He let out a slight sigh. "But what if I can't-"

"You motherfuckin will, best friend. Have a little faith in yourself for once." Gamzee grinned and playfully punched Karkat in the arm.

Another several moments went by in silence, only John and Tavros' talking could be heard in the background. Karkat finally rose his head and with a gentle massaging of his temples he ground out. "Hand me one of those muffins."


	20. Unmistakable

**Hey guys I don't know what's wrong with me, but all of a sudden I feel sort of depress/upset? I don't know why, but I apologize if this chapter feels lackluster or just all together shitty. But try to enjoy anyway please!**

**This chapter is going to be a verrry veeerrrryyyy short one, so try and bare with me please! :B**

–

John laid his head in Karkat's lap, unconsciously giggling at the working troll. When Karkat didn't react, or even regard him, he shook his head vigorously before trying to settle into a different position, his head facing the television that was playing some really confusing show.

He didn't even notice Karkat's blush until the troll squirmed and prodded him in the back, frowning a bit. "John stop squirming. You're...disturbing me," he muttered, embarrassed.

"Hooowww?" John drawled boredly, his ignorance genuine.

Karkat watched him, grimacing a bit. "The slime must still be affecting you." He brushed the boy's hair back, looking down at him.

John smiled up at him, raising his eyebrows in a ridiculously sultry manner, casuing Karkat to flush a bit. He pulled his hand back, catching his mistake. "What the fuck ever Egbert," he growled.

John laughed and turned, draping himself over Karkat's lap.

"We have to go back to the lab tomorrow," Karkat murmured, leaning back on the couch and placing his papers on the hot caffeinated beverage table.

John looked up at Karkat, expression sober. "I don't want to go back there. It's scary. I like it here," he grumbled, burying his face against the troll's stomach.

Karkat could feel his chest organ lurch and it made him angry. He huffed, and laid his head back, fidgeting as he thought. "Listen. I don't want to either, but I'm going to work on a fucking appeal so you can stay here with me."

John grabbed at Karkat's pants, biting on his bottom lip as he took a moment to think. "Do trolls feel love?" he asked.

"What do you mean? Of course trolls feel love. That was a fucking stupid question," Karkat scoffed, rolling his eyes.

"Well...I mean, do they feel love how humans do?" John asked. "Like...when you really really like someone and you only want to make them happy and be with them and stuff?"

Karkat scratched his chin. "Sure, I guess..."

"Do you love me?" John asked seriously, tilting his head up to watch Karkat.

Karkat was silent for a long time, unmoving. He parted his lips and then closed them again, letting out a deep sigh. "I'm afraid of how you might react if I tell you the fucking truth..." he admitted without much rage or frustration.

John smiled. "You know, you might be surprised."

Karkat blushed, looking away. "Well...fucking gog you can't just fucking put me on the spot like this," he growled, receiving a contented look from John.

"Well?" John asked curiously, shifting to lean against Karkat's stomach again.

"Yeah. I guess," Karkat murmured almost inaudibly. "Fucking sure. Whatever."

John smiled, closing his eyes. A few moments of silence proceeded before Karkat nudged John awake. "Well?" he asked.

"What?" John replied innocently.

"I mean..." Karkat growled and brushed his fingers through his hair. "I mean do you fucking love me back?" he ground out.

John frowned a bit, grasping Karkat's shirt. "I think...maybe I'm too young to be in love with you, but I do really really like you," he said, smiling.

Karkat watched him. "What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

John looked up at him, confused. "Huh? What's what supposed to mean?"

"How are you too fucking young!" Karkat growled. "How can someone be too fucking young to feel a stupid emotion. There is no age limit on emotion!"

"Oh...uh...well...I guess on earth it's sort of too sacred of an emotion for just an immature kid to understand," John murmured, reaching up to touch Karkat's cheek. "But I really do like you, okay?"

Karkat grimaced again, but didn't reply. He laid his head back down, closing his eyes. He felt John's scrawny arms wrap around him but he could hardly muster the energy to return the affection. He was...upset, to an extent. But generally, when he was really upset, that's when he thought and acted more rationally.

"Don't be mad," John murmured. "I didn't mean to be mean."

Karkat put his arm around John, petting him a bit. "I'm not mad," he murmured, leaning into him a bit. "I'm just...thinking."

"About what?" John asked curiously.

Karkat sucked in his lips, making a popping noise as he opened his mouth to reply. "Nothing important." But, in fact, it was important. Somehow, Alternia's safety had ended up in his hands. Along with the safety of his friends and potential matesprit.

He hated this. He was dealt the most retarded hand of fate, but he supposed there was no use bitching about it now.

"Can I kiss you John?" Karkat asked, looking down at the boy.

"Oh," John said, smiling a bit bashfully, but not without some deviousness. "So you're actually asking me this time?"

Karkat frowned, turning red. "I asked you under the fucking mistletoe," he hissed, reverting back to his normal self, much to John's appreciation.

John smiled a bit wider, shooting Karkat a look that only angered him more.

"Stop fucking aroun-"

Karkat was cut short as John gently wrapped his hands around his neck and pulled him down for a chaste kiss.

Karkat, of course, was pleased to return the kiss, even if it wasn't the rough and powerful type of a Kismesis. His chest organ fluttered a bit and couldn't help but prod John's lips a bit.

John, predictably, didn't allow any entrance but he smiled a bit and shook his head instead of leaving Karkat wondering if he'd done something wrong. John just wasn't ready.

Karkat pulled back a bit. "That was...pretty fucking awesome."

John smiled a bit, closing his eyes. "Yeah...it was sort of nice."

"Only sort of?" Karkat asked, brushing John's bangs back. "I think it was really _really _fucking nice," he murmured.

John giggled. "That's because you're jut a huge nerd!" he said, poking Karkat in the nose before reaching up to pet him.

"John," Karkat growled as the boy got dangerously close to his horns.

"What's the big deal about these anyway?" John whined, throwing his arms at his sides angrily. "Aren't they like bones or something? Sheesh."

Karkat shuddered a bit, a slight tingle still running down spine even though John's hands had never made contact. "Well they're right next to our thinkpans so of course they'd be fucking sensitive."

"I guess," John giggled. "Does that mean your...uhm...bone...bulges aren't sensitive?" he asked curiously. "Like a reversed kind of thing."

"Of course they fucking are, or trolls wouldn't be able to preform coitus. Gogdamn," Karkat scoffed, rolling his eyes.

John pouted. "Well I don't know! Trolls are weird. Gosh."

Karkat leaned down and kissed John again, his mouth seeming to attempt a smile but failing miserably. He pulled back and ran his thumbs across John's cheekbones. "You may look like a complete idiot but you're actually...kind of...sickeningly adorable."

John turned red. "I'm not adorable! I'm manly like Nic Cage!"

"You're a fucking cute dork, okay?" Karkat huffed. "End of discussion." He leaned down again, holding John's face in place as he kissed him a bit more aggressively than before.

John smiled and tried to wiggle away from Karkat. "Stop! Hmphhngh-" He finally managed to turn onto his stomach and crawl away from the needy troll before ducking behind the couch.

"You're gonna have to catch me if you want any more kisses!" John chirped, somersaulting to the back door.

Karkat growled and facepalmed. This was going to be annoying. But he could go for more kisses. He should have demanded a better bet before John had a chance to escape, but he supposed this would do for the time being.

He stood and retrieved a nearby blanket from one of John's many blanket piles. It would come in handy as a make-shift net for when he caught the boy.

"Dammit John get back here!" he yelled, tucking the blanket under his arm as he chased John down.

Somehow, John's anemic body had managed to escape Karkat's infinite wrath. Maybe the Alternian air was helping his usual weaknesses? Alternian air _was _obviously one hundred times better than earth air after all.

Karkat had finally caught glimpse of John ducking behind someone's hive, but something more nefarious caught his eye immediately afterwards.

The black coat and sadistic scowl was unmistakable.


	21. What is Affibility

**Thank you all you beautiful well-wishers! I was actually already feeling a lot better by the time I'd posted the last chapter, but still! You guys caring for me still makes me so happy and wefnlwejfnlekklfm heart heart beautiful babus!**

**Also, I know a lot of you lovelies are very big PBJ fans, so I'd like to let you know I have an actual PBJ story on my fanfiction called Cloverfield. Go check it out if you'd like to. uvu**

* * *

><p>Karkat stepped in front of John, grabbing his wrist in a vice grip as Jack Noir approached them. He was utterly confident that it would be all right, but he couldn't help but tremble a little as he simultaneously attempted to act as casual as possible. It was not an easy task.<p>

John looked at Karkat curiously, about to speak when a deep voice from someone he had not known spoke in his place. The man had nearly blended with the shadows, and his imposing figure caused John to hide a bit.

"Karkat." The voice was low, controlled and slow. Like that of a man that was very calculated, but his mere glance is it slid and laid on John sent a withering fear through the human. "What is the meaning of...this?"

Karkat had apparently tried to speak, but perhaps his throat caught. Or perhaps he changed his course of action because he stopped and cleared his throat for a moment. "What do you mean?" he asked in reply, suddenly sounding immensely more pronounced and calm.

Jack gestured to John. "This is the human experiment, I presume. Outside of his cage. Outside of the lab. Not tied down."

Karkat looked at John, as if he'd just noticed the boy and nodded slowly. "Yeah..." he scratched the back of his neck with his free hand. "You see, I was thinking-" There was a slight disturbance in the air for a moment and then Karkat let out a sharp breath. He squeezed John's wrist, startling the boy to a shocked yelp.

"Just what have I told you about thinking?" Jack asked casually, examining his fingernails. "It is not your job to think. You take my commands and you re-issue them to the others, right?"

Karkat didn't answer. Something about his face look pained, John noticed, and he was trying his best not to double over. When Jack did not receive a reply, he watched Karkat impatiently, raising a switchblade that John did not know he had, and gently tucking it under Karkat's chin, forcing the troll to look at him.

"Right?"

"Right," Karkat said unsteadily, obviously struggling to keep his voice in check.

"Now go on. Enlighten me as to what you were thinking," Jack said, replacing his switchblade into a hidden compartment in his trench coat.

"John is a human. Not as superior as you or me. If he were to try and run I could easily catch him," Karkat gritted out, still squeezing John's anemic wrist.

"I'm getting impatient," Jack growled.

"Well," Karkat hissed out, the sound coming deep from within his throat, carried on the waves of what originated as a helpless cry. "I thought it would have been so much more beneficial for me to examine John whilst we were on this short...break."

Jack watched Karkat steadily. "John?"

"Uh...the human, I mean," Karkat murmured, cursing quietly under his breath.

"Do you know the story of the little grub that brought home the woofbeast?" Jack asked in an almost sickeningly sweet tone, a deep frown forming.

"Yeah...the grub brought the woofbeast to his hive because it saved her life in the trials," Karkat said quietly, his hand having been resting on his side for quite some time now. He shifted a bit, wincing as he did.

"And what did she name the woofbeast?" Jack asked casually, leaning back a bit as he adjusted his fedora.

"I don't remember...Penses?" Karkat said, confused. "What does that have to do-"

"What happened at the end of the story, Karkat?" Jack interrupted.

Karkat thought for a moment. He hardly remembered those old grub's stories. "Her lusus found the woofbeast and killed it."

"Where is your lusus, Karkat?" Jack asked, this time leaning in a bit, raising his eyebrows as he listened closely. "Speak up."

Karkat looked down, away from Jack's gaze, only to have his face jerked up again by a large hand. He resisted the desperate urge to sneer and spit in the man's face as he trembled. "He's dead. You know that."

"No, no," Jack chuckled, earning a confused stare from both Karkat and John. "I am your guardian now. _I _am your lusus. You listen to me. Understood?"

Karkat trembled, his cheeks were puffed as he held in a breath before finally letting it out in a sputter. "Yes."

"Good. Permission for further observation of the human is granted. Don't get too attached." With that, Jack gave Karkat a condescending pat on the head and went on his way.

It wasn't until Jack had rounded a corner and completely disappeared that Karkat let out a strangled yell, his knees buckling before he finally fell onto them, shaking hard as he pressed his hand desperately into his sigh.

John watched him carefully, concern apparent on his face. He knelt down beside Karkat, figuring the troll was just screaming from frustration when he noticed the blood beginning to puddle on the ground.

"Karkat!" John cried, putting his hand over Karkat's as he began to feel a bit faint.

"He was in a...good mood, at least," Karkat ground out, cringing a bit.

"That was a good mood?" John cried, wrapping his arms around Karkat's shoulders to comfort him. "What happened!"

Karkat took a few deep breaths, calming himself down for a moment before answering. "He stabbed me. He fucking does it all the time," he murmured.

"Oh my god," John panicked, looking back at the hive. Thank god he was a horrible runner or getting Karkat back would have been a bit difficult.

Karkat was unnaturally calm on the way back. He still stood tall, with his and John's hands both applying pressure on the wound. When John tried to ask him if he was all right, he did not answer, only give a short nod.

When they finally made it back to the hive, John commanded Karkat lie down on the couch as he got the first aid kit Kanaya had lent him. He returned with the kit as well as a bottle of antiseptic.

"Take off your shirt," John said calmly.

Karkat smirked and opened his mouth, but John stopped him before he could give the snarky reply that had been building up.

"Just take your shirt off quickly," John murmured, afraid to do it himself for fear of harming Karkat's delicate wound.

The troll sighed and did as he was told, careful to avoid accidentally getting any blood on John as he did so. "I'm fucking fine John, for the last fucking time."

"Let me concentrate," John nearly whispered, threading a needle to prepare for stitches. He set it off to the side and began to dab at the blood, making it at least a bit easier to see his work as he did as Kanaya had shown him on Tavros.

The stitching, for Karkat, was slow and agonizing. He arched up a bit, brows furrowing as he cursed unabashedly and clung to John's shirt like a child would its parent (whatever that meant).

"Shh. I'm sorry," John whispered, brushing back Karkat's bangs as he cut the thread, the stitching finished. He had done the best he could, but the stitches were still uneven and uncontrolled, probably extremely uncomfortable for Karkat, but they would have to do until Kanaya could fix them.

Next he dampened a piece of gauze with the antiseptic, doing as his father had done for him when he had scraped his knee as a child.

Karkat winced, but didn't cry like a baby while John dressed his wounds, which was pretty impressive considering John's wound had been far less worse and he cried for almost fifteen long minutes after his father applied the medication.

Finally, he pressed a thick cotton padding over the stab-wound and taped it down, packing the medical kit back up afterwards.

Karkat watched John sit at the end of the couch, placing the first aid kit away and then sitting stiffly away from the other. "John," he called softly.

John didn't look, but made a strange and subtle squirming motion to let Karkat know he'd heard.

"I caught you," Karkat said. "You fucking owe me like one hundred kisses." He raised his arm and grabbed John's hood, pulling the boy on top of him, opposite the side of where he had been stabbed.

John curled up mechanically against him, leaning up to give Karkat a kiss. There wasn't any apprehension and the boy hadn't held back at all which was a bit odd.

"What the fuck crawled up your ass?" Karkat inquired, turning on his good side to look into John's high-blooded eyes. He gently took the boy's hand, which was placed awkwardly in between both of them, and place it instead on his chest, taking the opportunity to kiss his scrawny fingers.

John's mouth went crooked for a moment before he gave a halfhearted shrug and buried his face in the crook of Karkat's neck.

"What?" Karkat asked. "No 'Ew Karkat, you're gross!', or 'hehehe, I'm an insufferable fuckass and nothing bothers me!'?" he joked, chuckling slightly. John still didn't reply, so Karkat said nothing further. It wasn't his fucking fault if John couldn't take a stupid joke. But then he heard something, a small whimper.

What started as a small tremble finally built up until John was shaking like a leaf, hot tears making contact with Karkat's gray skin. He brushed John's bangs out of the way, peeking at his face to affirm what he already knew.

"Hey...why the fuck are you crying?" Karkat murmured. "I won't let Jack harm you," he promised. "He has no intention of hurting you. You're too fucking important, okay?"

John shook his head. "N-Not that," he hiccuped, clinging to Karkat's firm shoulders. "Wh-When I s-saw all that blood-"

"Yeah, blood gives me the fucking creeps too," Karkat murmured, rolling his eyes. "It's mostly seeing other people's blood that makes me pass the fuck out, though."

John look up at Karkat, sniffing. "You're st-stupid."

"What? Why?" Karkat growled, narrowing his eyes. "You're fucking stupid. Stupid. Gog." He looked away, frowning as his pride was hurt just a bit.

John smiled slightly, leaning against Karkat. "Stupid," he whispered. "I-I thought you were gonna die...and I realized..." he paused, blushed.

"What?" Karkat asked, confused by John's strange actions. What in the Hell was he talking about?

John looked up at Karkat, sucking in his lips just slightly as he thought carefully about what he was going to say. "I realized I really really really like you," he said softly, kissing Karkat again, this time more sweetly.

Karkat turned red, averting his eyes. "Gog. I'm not good at these feeling jams," he grumbled, hesitantly putting his hand on John's hip.

John smiled slightly, sniffing once more as he began to calm down. "That's okay," he whispered, shifting upwards so he was closer to Karkat's face. He kissed him again, more controlled now that he was much closer and didn't have to crane or raise his neck.

Karkat would have argued or cursed had John's supple lips not been on his own. Instead, he relaxed a bit. The pain in his side receding as a much more pleasurable feeling took its place. "John," Karkat murmured through the kiss.

John hummed a small reply, closing his eyes as he shifted so they were pressed as close as they could be.

Karkat's eyes became half lidded as he watched John's gentle expression. He reached up, resting his hand on the other's cheek as he tilted his head forward, prodding at John's lips with his tongue.

In Karkat's eyes, an eternity had passed before he finally felt John give him leeway, his strange pink lips parting ever so slightly.

Karkat tried to be graceful, but it failed miserably and instead he found himself startling John by practically tongue-raping him.

John pulled away, shaking his head and closing his mouth, muttering 'ew' under his breath in succession, as if it were a mantra.

"John," Karkat murmured, placing his hand on the boy's cheek and stroking the delicate cheekbone with his thumb. "I'm sorry. I'm not any...fucking good at this," he growled, looking away. "Can I have one more chance? Fuck...I don't deserve another chance. That was fucked up of me-"

"Shoosh," John whispered, nuzzling Karkat calmingly. "It's all right. You can have another go."

Karkat nodded, letting out a small sigh of relief. He tilted John's head back up, penetrating his mouth for a second time, but this time more gently. He was wary of his teeth, but every now and again John would violently flinch and then Karkat would taste blood. Before Karkat could pull away, however, John would assure him he was all right and they would continue again.

John was by no means an outstanding kisser. But neither was Karkat, in all truth. He'd only ever had sloppy makeouts with Terezi before, and thanks to her disability she mostly would lick all over Karkat's face which made for less kissing than...whatever you would call that.

But when Gamzee would get into certain moods and it was just the two of them, he would sometimes talk about he and Tavros' sloppy makeout sessions. It wasn't above Karkat to take a lesson or two from what he could.

Time passed by slowly, but it was a blissful slowness that was actually very pleasing to either side. When simply making out became a little tedious and sore, they would spend small rests apprehensively exploring each other's bodies, both flushed red from ears to shoulders.

"If this is what it takes to get a little fucking intimacy, I should've got stabbed a long time ago," Karkat drawled, giving John a crooked smile.

John rolled his eyes and buried his face against Karkat's chest, laughing a bit. "Shut up."

* * *

><p><strong>Yeah. So writing borderline porn involving 13 year olds is a lot more uncomfortable than I'd originally anticipated...<strong>


	22. Sickness

"Are you all right?" John asked, trying to steady Karkat as they made their way to the recuperacoon. Karkat was doubled over, the pain from the stab finally beginning to settle in.

"Fine," Karkat said, his throat strained. "Just fine. Help me in. I can't sleep in the pile this time, I need my recuperacoon for this fucking wound to heal." He sounded tired, like the life had been drained with his blood. His face was a pale gray, almost like an off white.

John nodded, understanding. He helped Karkat to climb into the recuperacoon, stroking his bangs back once he was laying comfortably down. He stood, awkward and a bit scared. Karkat seemed tired in both his mannerisms and demeanor. His eyes were closed and he looked almost like a corpse. John swallowed dryly. "Karkat?"

"Yes?" Karkat asked, trying to sound irritated, but it failed him. John didn't reply, he'd only wanted to be sure Karkat was all right.

Minutes passed and finally John leaned in. "Karkat?" He asked.

"Yes?" Karkat asked, his now genuine irritation coming out more easily.

"I'm coming in. Try and move over a little bit," John said softly, taking off his shoes and putting his hands on the lip.

"Don't...you don't know what it might do. Don't be fucking stupid." Karkat murmured almost breathlessly. It was obvious all those sloppy makeouts had physically exhausted his already spent body.

Unable to argue further as John slipped into his recuperacoon, he merely held him close and weakly laced his fingers through the other's hair.

John placed his head against Karkat's chest, carefully listening to the solemn rythm of the troll's heart. His nostrils flared slightly as he tried not to roll onto his side and breathe in- that way he'd be met with a mouthful of sopor slime.

Instead he kept his head on Karkat's chest. The sopor slime was not how he'd expected it to be. It was warm with the consistency of gel, but not quite. He'd expected his skin to feel wet and cold, but it felt warm and embraced, as if the slime were a blanket of fleece- only better.

It wasn't long before he had fallen asleep alongside his matesprit.

* * *

><p>The next morning passed uneventfully enough. It was their last day together before they'd have to be back at the lab, resuming their old ways with only a little something more when they were alone.<p>

Only something in John was a bit different. It had been Hell trying to wake him from the comforting embrace of the recuperacoon, and even harder to get him to the ablution trap to get the excess slime off.

During their breakfast, John seemed lethargic, distracted even. Paying attention to everything but the only troll trying to get his attention.

John hardly spoke, only nodded or shook his head, and sometimes in response to questions that didn't warrant such a reply.

Karkat thought nothing of it. Sickness was not such a common thing on Alternia; what with the healthy air and constant activity. Plus trolls were just infinitely more superior to humans when it came to the immune system. The thought had never crossed his mind.

It wasn't until they were sitting on the couch that Karkat finally thought John strange. He put one hand on the human's opposite hip, pulling him closer. John leaned his head on Karkat's shoulder, eyes glazed over as the troll fiddled his thumb under the hem of John's blue shirt.

John didn't comply, nor deny, so Karkat continued on, running his hand along John's flat stomach and chest. Still, the boy made no notion that he was enjoying Karkat's sentiments. Instead of becoming worried, Karkat became more insecure and hurried on more firmly, attempting to incite _something _from John in any way he could possibly muster.

And then finally, John's hand was on his thigh and he thought that a good sign. Now was the opportunity he'd been waiting for. If only he'd remembered where he put that ridiculous bucket. "Move for a second, I have to find the fucking pail before we get too far," he murmured, moving to get up.

John fell to the side, and Karkat rolled his eyes. The over-dramatic idiot pulling his human "pranks". They were so stupid and meaningless.

When he returned, however, everything seemed to connect at once and he hurried to his matesprits' side. John was on the floor, doubled over on his knees with his forehead pressed in a puddle of green and clear bile.

Grabbing a discarded towel, Karkat helped John up, only to have him fall limp in his arms. He quickly wiped away the mess and picked him up, setting him back on the couch and going to his husktop.

carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling grimAuxilliatrix [GA]

CG: KANAYA. FUCK. YOU BETTER FUCKING BE ONLINE.

GA: What Is It? You're Up Earlier Than Usual.

CG: SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH MY MATESPRIT.

GA: Oh?

CG: HE'S FUCKING THROWING UP. I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO DO. FUCK...I THINK HE'S DEAD.

GA: Calm Down Karkat. Now Tell Me, Calmly, What Exactly Is Wrong With Him?

CG: I JUST FUCKING TOLD YOU. HE'S BEEN ACTING FUCKING WEIRD ALL MORNING AND THEN I LEFT TO...

CG: WELL.

CG: NEVERMIND ABOUT THAT. I LEFT AND WHEN I CAME BACK HE WAS FUCKING THROWING UP.

GA: Hm. How Odd.

CG: GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE AND HELP. SHIT HE'S CHOKING I THINK.

GA: Choking?

CG: HE'S HACKING ALL HORRIBLE AND WHATEVER. PLEASE GET DOWN HERE AND FIX HIM.

GA: I Will See What I Can Do.

CG: FUCK. FINALLY. GOOD.

carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling grimAuxilliatrix [GA]

Karkat sat, rubbing his eyes as he watched John begin writhing and groaning. What could have happened? He sighed. Kanaya would come soon and fix him.

He looked down, drinking in the sight of John's disheveled body. His fingers fidgeted a bit, longing to touch him as they had been before. His shirt was hiked up just so, his pants revealing the prominent bone in his hip. The strange hole in the middle of the boy's stomach was a bit off-putting to Karkat at first, but is slowly became more appealing as he continued to examine him.

He felt terribly for simply ogling his matesprit while he was in such a horrendous state, but he couldn't help it. Nor did he realize the severity of John's current condition.

He leaned down, cautiously nibbling at John's jaw. The boy seemed to respond more than he had before. Perhaps it was something he'd eaten that made him feel bad. He must have been recovering now, Karkat thought.

His side throbbed a bit, but he forced himself to ignore it as he leaned down, pushing up John's shirt. He carefully crawled on top of the other, his hips resting down on John's.

He didn't feel the boy shift nervously underneath him like he typically would- which was probably a good thing. If he wasn't anxious than he must have been relaxed.

His ministrations weren't returned, but this time it did not discourage Karkat. Instead it encouraged him to try and help the human recover more quickly. He thought of letting John rest in the sopor slime some more, but quickly cast the idea away. He'd rather try and heal him himself.

He took John's chin in his hand, delving inside with his tongue. He tasted the freshness of mouth cleanser that he had swabbed in John's mouth while he was cleaning him up.

"You aren't acting very fucking responsively," Karkat murmured, forcing John's jaw open with his fingers before leaning in to kiss him again. Finally he looked back into the boy's eyes. They were vacant, lackluster.

The once vibrant blues were now a dull gray. Karkat sat up and watched John more carefully. Maybe he wasn't getting any better? Suddenly, the troll flinched.

John arched forward, letting out a loud gasping breath before his head lulled to the side and he remained still once more.

"Karkat?"

"In here!" Karkat yelled with haste, putting his hand on John's forehead. It was then, he noticed just how hot the boy was. He was practically sweating bullets and Karkat couldn't help but feel like an imbecile. "Hurry the fuck up Kanaya!" he yelled almost desperately.

Kanaya rushed in, Tavros and Gamzee in tow. "I hope you don't mind I brought them along for John's sake. He's fond of them."

"What's wrong with him?" Karkat demanded, standing by the back of the couch as Kanaya conducted several foreign tests on him.

"I don't know yet. Aradia told me what to look for," Kanaya said. "She thinks he has a...ah, what was it? A fever."

"What in the hell is that?" Karkat growled.

"Imagine...being stabbed and almost completely bled out. Not until death, but until it is unbearable. That is how she explained it to me," Kanaya said. "He will be really hot- which he is. Sweating. His mouth will be dry and his eyes will be glazed over."

"That's uh, all right..." Tavros murmured, leaning in to feel John's forehead. He pulled back, wincing. "He is really, uh...really warm."

Kanaya nodded. "There is no doubt about it. He must have had a bad reaction to our weather. Or something that could have given him this strange human illness."

Karkat nodded, thinking for a moment. "He slept in the slime with me for the first time last night. Could that have done it?" He sounded calm, which was surprising though not as much of late.

"Definitely," Kanaya said.

"But he ate it fine when Gamzee made the muffins," Karkat murmured, scratching the back of his head. "Nothing happened...other than he got a bit strange."

Kanaya thought for a moment, nodding steadily. "Yes that's it."

"What?" Karkat asked.

"The slime must have absorbed through his skin. Humans are much thinner in their epidermis than we. Too much is toxic even for a troll, let alone a soft human," Kanaya explained. "It made him fall ill."

Tavros frowned. "Will he be all right Kan?"

Kanaya nodded slightly. "Most certainly. If Karkat takes good care of him. I will leave a list of what you must do. Come along and help me Gamzee," she said, gesturing the tall troll to follow.

Tavros watched Karkat again, scratching the back of his head. "So...uh, I mean as his moirail I think I shoul stay too."

Karkat sneered. "Why?"

Tavros fidgeted a bit, looking down. "So...you don't, uh, do anything that may make him, you know, not get better.

Karkat thought about what Tavros could have meant by that before he realized. "Of course I fucking wouldn't! What kind of nooksniffing fucker do you take me for?" he snapped, looking away with a sulk.

He'd already done something that wasn't progressive to John's health, but he couldn't admit it. It didn't count, anyway! He hadn't known at the time.

He paced the living room, deep in thought until Tavros interjected. "Do you think he will be uh, all right?"

"Of course. You fucking heard Kanaya. Don't be an idiot." Karkat put his hands in his pockets, before removing them and then letting them hang loose. He put his hand, then, on the back of the couch and then removed them once more. He had no idea what to do with himself. If anything happened to John-

No. He wouldn't think of that now. Without John- without his lusus and without the security of company and even love, or rather glorified pity, the burden he carried would only intensify.

Kanaya and Gamzee finally returned with a list and a basket of supplies they'd brought along. She set the basket down, handing Karkat the sheet of paper.

"We did a lot of research on the way here. This is everything we could put together on human sickness. This is not an uncommon illness on John's planet and, apparently, he will be fine."

Karkat nodded, taking the list.


	23. Oh Dear

**Oh wow this is incredibly late! I'm sorry guys. My life is just progressively receiving shitstorm after shitstorm so fanfiction is getting lower and lower on my list of priorities. **

**Also...fantrolls. -Cough- That is all. **

* * *

><p>Karkat sat by John's side, stroking his hair back. Kanaya and Tavros had helped him make something as similar to a "bed" as possible so John would be at maximum comfort whilst ill. He frowned deeply every time John had a violent convulsion or chill. Humans couldn't possible get ill like this as often as some articles had said? Every winter is flu-season? An entire season where every human was incapacitated for almost a forth of a year? A year, in human terms, was less than a half of a sweep. That's hardly any time at all to be getting sick so often. The average human falls ill a few times a year, apparently. Karkat couldn't even believe how awful that must be.<p>

He snapped out of his reverie when John gave a small heave, his chest stalling for a moment after his back arched upwards. Karkat reached into the basket Kanaya had left him and he spread a strange gel-like substance over his fingers. He pulled down the comforter and pushed up John's shirt, rubbing the weird ointment on it until he gradually settled back against the "mattress" (which was basically a sack Kanaya had sewn together stuffed with the squak-beast feathers.

"Karkat...?" John beckoned weakly, his eyes half-lidded and glazed over.

Karkat could hardly muster a reply to John's pathetic call, so he merely placed his hand on the boy's cheek to signal him that he was there, waiting for the boy to command him or this or that. Whatever met his needs.

But John did not require anything; He merely leaned his head to the side, into Karkat's hand and closed his eyes again.

It was a day and a half later before John finally woke up again. His fever showed no signs of breaking and every hour that Karkat stayed up with him only proved more strenuous on his stab wound.

But he couldn't abandon John for the slime; And he couldn't bring the human with him to the slime. He felt helpless, exhausted.

He deeply regretted forcing Tavros to leave now, because the help would have been a blessing on his drained body. The extra sleep would prove for John to have much better care-

Speaking of the human, what on earth was he doing? He shot straight up in his 'bed', heaving wildly, and covering his mouth, shaking his head wildly from side to side.

Karkat could only stare with wide eyes, confused and just a little bit scared. "Fuck- What! Fuck- I- John what the Fuck!" he yelled, holding out his hands to steady him, and yet frightened to touch him. "Fuck...fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck-"

"Bucket-" John heaved, searching the room as he squirmed around the bed, tangled in the sheets until he finally gave up and fell forward, trembling. "Bucket bucket -"

Karkat unconsciously searched everywhere for his bucket, though didn't leave his spot next to John- where on earth had he moved the damn thing? "Now is not the time for a gentle fucking pailing!" he yelled.

John shook his head, his cheeks swelling as he did some weird sort of chest hiccup. Karkat finally dove behind his recouperacoon, tossing the bucket into the other's lap.

John took it and thrust his head deep inside, gagging and dry heaving, some sort of substance falling out of his throat.

Karkat couldn't even describe it- he just stood there with a disgusted expression, everything from his demeanor to the strange noises emitting from his throat was horrified. He rationalized that John must have been throwing up. Was that something that humans did? Was that normal?

For five minutes straight he watched as John emptied the bile from his stomach, having not eaten for quite some time. He thought about running to get his husktop, but it was far in the nutri-block and he couldn't bare to leave John now.

When the boy finally peered out from the bucket, some of the life and cohesiveness returned to his face. He wasn't pale or writhing, rather he looked slightly dizzy and lack-luster or exhausted. Karkat finally chanced walking over.

He reached out, stroking John's hair, neck and back as tenderly as he could with his trembling hands. And his efforts did not go unrewarded, for John gave him a sentimental, yet weak, smile. Karkat felt relieved of the tension that had been building up in his stomach.

"Lie down," he murmured, pressing carefully against John's chest so he was lying back on the bed. "You need to take this medicine shit Kanaya gave me.

Karkat took the bucket from John's hands, a little more repulsed by it than usual, and looked out the window, distancing how far the end of his lawnring was. He held the bucket by the handle and flung it far, far away. "What?" he asked, noticing John's somewhat mortified expression.

"Was that your..."

Karkat watched John, quirking an eyebrow. "My?"

"Was that your...your..._bucket _bucket?" John murmured, flinching as his stomach flipped and churned violently from the thoughts brought on by his assumption.

Karkat quirked an eyebrow, looking to the window for a moment and then back at John. "That was my bucket. What other fucking kind of bucket is there!" he snapped.

John dry-heaved once, the stress too much on his weak stomach. Thankfully he had already purged every bit he'd had in him. He felt drained. He was possibly dehydrated. And Karkat's yelling wasn't helping. He opened his mouth to reply, but all that came out was tearless sobs (there were hardly any fluids in him, so tears just could not produce.)

Karkat could only stare at him for a long time, rubbing his arm as a light red blush flushed his cheeks. "Fuck. Don't be a grub, gog."

John tried to calm down, but it only proved to make him look more ridiculous. He sniveled and heaved, breaths catching in his throat and throwing him into coughing fits.

Karkat continued to stare, lips pulled tight together as he thought of what to do. He was, by no means, any good at being sociable or caring despite how shitty he felt for making his matesprit cry. Suddenly he wished he didn't kick Tavros out.

They must have been working now. Jack, upon hearing of John's illness allowed Karkat to stay with him until he was once again healthy. Something about not wanting to the precious cargo to be harmed being transported from Karkat's hive to the lab.

"Ugh...he's so creepy," Karkat murmured to himself, going to his husktop. He opened it and noticed which trolls were online and which weren't. Should he contact motherly Kanaya? Or Moirail Tavros?

He hummed to himself, John's incessant crying forming a headache in the back of his mind. Finally he clicked on Tavros' handle, the box opening with a little ping.

carcinoGeneticist [CG] began pestering adiosToreador [AT]

AT: kAR?

AT: wHAT DID YOU DO TO JOHN,

CG: WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU ASSUME I DID ANYTHING WRONG FUCKASS.

AT: sERIOUSLY KAR,

CG: HE'S CRYING AND HOPY FUCK HE WON'T STOP.

CG: IT'S SO ANNOYING I'M GETTING REALLY PISSED OFF.

AT: kARKAT. }:(

CG: GOG NOW YOU'RE ANNOYING ME. THIS WAS A FUCKING STUPID IDEA.

AT: nO! gO CONSOLE HIM,

AT: hE'S PROBABLY REALLY, uH, sCARED OR SOMETHING. }:(

CG: FUCKING I GUESS...MAYBE.

AT: nO I'M SURE HE IS,

AT: gO TO HIM KARKAT,

AT: lIKE ONE OF YOUR, uH, rOMCOMS, }:)

CG: SHUT UP. WHAT DO I DO. I MEAN IN DETAIL. I DON'T FUCKING KNOW.

AT: wELL, jUST HOLD HIM AND STUFF,

AT: aND PET HIS HAIR, aND TELL HIM HE'LL BE ALL RIGHT,

CG: STUPID.

AT: kAR,,,

CG: FINE. GOG. YOU WERE NO HELP.

carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased pestering adiosToreador [AT]

Okay, actually that was extremely helpful. Karkat had at least an idea of how he should be consoling John now.

He walked over, sitting on the edge of the makeshift bed and pulling the boy into his arms. "Shoosh," he whispered, papping his cheeks and head. He ran his fingers gently through John's raven hair, leaning down to kiss his cheeks and forehead.

Slowly, John began to settle down, reaching up with shaky hands to wipe cold sweat from his forehead. He felt awful and disgusting, but Karkat's haphazard patting and caressing was comforting. He'd never really been fussed over by someone he cared about so deeply before.

Not even his father, whom had to work all hours of the day, all days of the week just to support them hadn't doted over him like this. Even the nurses at the hospital or his friends that came to visit weren't as touchy-feely as Karkat had been, which admittedly wasn't much at all. It was still nice.

"I think I feel a lot better after throwing up," John murmured softly. "But-"

"That was my..._bucket _bucket," Karkat confirmed finally.

John pushed him away, gasping. "Karkat! Ew! Gross!" he yelled, pulling up his shirt and licking the fabric- which Karkat thought was almost horrifyingly strange before he noticed John's revealed stomach. It was taught, but not tight and almost, in a really weird fucked up human sort of way, kind of cute.

"So...you feel better?" Karkat asked, laying down with John still tight in his arms.

John nuzzled up against him, nodding lightly. "Yeah. I think it was just water or something filled up in my stomach...have I eaten anything?"

"Just featherbeast broth here and there," Karkat murmured. "I was too afraid of...well, that happening. But it did anyway so whatever."

"Well it's good cus I feel better!" John laughed, cringing a bit as his stomach flipped in protest to his hyper activeness.

Karkat hummed slightly in appreciation, concentrating on the revealed plane of John's stomach. He ran his claws gingerly up the skin, making very thin marks with the pressure.

John's squirmed, his stomach body twitching reflexively as he grabbed Karkat's arms. "Karkat!" he cried through small giggles.

"What?" Karkat asked with disinterest, excited more by exploring John's body than the cute sounds he made.

John made a small whimper, unable to speak any further as Karkat's fingers traced the prominent bone at his hip.

"John," Karkat whispered hotly against John's neck, placing a gentle kiss against his jaw to show his appreciation. He really liked John. He hated to admit it but he pitied him far too much. It was beginning to border infatuation.

"Karkat-" John nearly whined, scooting closer.

"I don't have my bucket now, John," Karkat murmured, scratching the side of his head. "We probably shouldn't-"

"Oh gosh Karkat! I don't think I'm ready for anything like that," John interrupted, clinging to the troll. "I just...gosh, I feel like I'm way too young, and you are definitely too young too!"

Karkat frowned, looking disappointed. "Fuck. Whatever," he grumbled irately, pulling his hands away. He could have always just improvised a bucket...

John blushed, feeling a little bit bad about trying to protect his sweet sweet virginity and he sort of couldn't believe he'd just referred to it as that, but continued his thought anyway. "I'm sorry Karkat...we have to wait until we're older, and ready, you know!" he said hopefully.

Karkat looked away, sneering at the idea of waiting. There wasn't much time. "Whatever."

John pouted as he watched Karkat. He didn't want his boyfriend seeming upset! He leaned up and kissed Karkat gently on the lips, only to be drawn into the troll's arms and kissed passionately, all tongue and teeth and opened mouth.

John complied, used to this sort of heated escapades now that it had happened so much and so suddenly every time. He was even growing to realize just how pleasurable something as simple as a kiss could be.

He smiled, pressing his lithe body carefully against Karkat's.


	24. That Explains Alot

**I wanted to have this up for Christmas...I'm sorry everyone. ;n;**

**But seriously, being an optimist must be a big slap in the face to the universe because every time I tell myself "Things are going to get better", it only gets worse. **

**So sorry again, updates will still be pretty scarce. ;-;**

**Also I'm adding this after writing this chapter. My friend has sort of gone MIA for the last four days and I'm freaking the fuck out. So even scarcer updates. Fuck my life...seriously. -crai-**

**Also there's only about two more chapters left in the story. uvu***

* * *

><p>"Are you all right? Can you make it?"<p>

John rubbed his forehead, groaning as his "matesprit" cradled and fussed over him, wrapping him tightly up in a blanket as they walked. "I'm fine Karkat."

"You're not going to throw up or faint again?" Karkat murmured, watching John closely just to be sure.

"No! Gosh Kar, I already told you I feel a lot better now. I think you're the one that needs to take it easy. You're all pale and dizzy looking," John scolded, poking Karkat in the chest.

Karkat grumbled noisily about nothing, jamming his key into the lab door. "Yeah, we're gonna stop in the med room so I can get something to treat my-" He paused, quirking an eyebrow. "That's fucking weird..."

"What's wrong?" John asked through a yawn.

"My key isn't working-" Karkat pulled the key out of the lock and examined it, humming lowly. "Whatever. Let's go to the lab," he said, leading John through the white hallways, a knot beginning to form in his stomach. But he couldn't let John know of his nervousness. The boy didn't need the stress.

It took a good few minutes to arrive at the lab, the halls being very long and labyrinthine, but Karkat didn't immediately go in. He listened at the door for a moment, small voices whispering back and forth to each other. He heard tidbits of their conversations and a slow feeling of dread tightened his stomach knots.

"Karkat? Are you alright?" John asked, noticing the miserable expression that suddenly took over Karkat's face.

"They're...working," Karkat whispered back. "They're actually fucking working. Gog what's going on?"

John worried his bottom lip, the silence extending for quite some time. Finally, Karkat grabbed his wrist and whisked them both away, only offering John a low "Come on."

Karkat was looking back down the other side of the hall when he heard John's hesitant noise of discontent, and then felt another body collide into his. He was sent back into John, barely able to keep his matesprit from falling on his ass.

He growled, looking up. "What the fuck!" he yelled.

Vriska looked down her nose at him, an unsettling smirk on her face. "Why aren't you working?" she asked sweetly, looking over at John.

Karkat stood in front of the human, holding his arm behind him protectively. "What the fuck do you want Vriska?" he growled.

"You didn't answer my question Karkat. Why aren't you working?" Vriska asked with a twisted smile.

"...I'm taking John to-"

"Tsk, tsk tsk, Karkat. Shouldn't you have been back a few days ago?" She wondered allowed, stepping a slow circle around the two boys.

Karkat watched her carefully, pulling John against his side. "Jack let me stay at my hive a bit longer," he murmured.

"That doesn't answer my question-" Vriska leaned in close to Karkat. "You haven't filed or sent in a single report while you were gone. The only reason Jack allowed you to take John was for closer examination. You didn't do anything like that did you?"

"Shut the fuck up Vriska, he got sick. I had to take care of him or he may have died, and Jack would be very upset if that happened," Karkat hissed.

"Uh, Karkat..." John whispered, only to be hushed by Karkat's index finger signaling him to quiet down. John sunk against Karkat, terrified of the shadowy figure lingering behind them.

"So why on earth would you take him to a party? Hm? He didn't get sick until you were supposed to bring him back here, there was at least a few days where he was perfectly ripe for examining, silly Kar," Vriska hummed. "Jack would be so disappointed."

"I don't give a fuck what Jack things!" Karkat hissed.

"Oh really?"

Karkat froze in his tracks, too frightened to turn around, but too obedient to ignore his Superior's beck and call. He sucked in a sharp breath and turned around.

"I didn't mean-" He cringed at the sharp pain in his side, pushing John behind himself and blocking him once again with his arm. He could feel how John was shaking and much too frightened to voice his obvious concern.

The pain was too dull to be a stab wound, and too near the previous wound. He looked down, groaning as Jack pressed his fingers against the old wound, breaking the haphazard stitches Karkat had made in haste of being stabbed before.

"I only meant," Karkat ground out. "That...fuck I can't even think of an excuse..."

Jack pulled his fingers away, smirking. "Good. At least you didn't attempt a half-assed lie." He hooked the fingers, now smeared with Karkat's blood, into the collar of the boy's shirt and tugged. "John, follow," he demanded in a growl.

Vriska leaned over John's shoulder, grinning dastardly at him. She pecked him on the cheek and then shoved him violently forward.

John stumbled and obediently followed, too frightened to leave Karkat with Jack, and too frightened of Vriska to be left alone with her.

* * *

><p>Jack's office was like something out of an old mobster movie. Dark, with a single lamp light lighting the table, John and Karkat, but left Jack completely in the dark. His mouth was visible, but the rest was lost in shadows. He lit a cigar, lighting up his face before sending it back into darkness when the lighter went out.<p>

"Well well well. It didn't occur to me that no one told you, Karkat," Jack said, resting his booted feet on top of his desk.

"No one told me what?" Karkat grumbled.

"Hm," Jack laughed, cracking his neck by laying his head to either side. "That Vriska is my new prodigy. Not you."

There was an extended silence in the room. Karkat's fingers slowly crept to John's hand and he grasped it like his life depended on it.

"She brought it to my attention that you were withholding important information from me, such as the color of John's blood. It's mostly irrelevant, but information I should have been given nonetheless. She's also informed of your matespritship with him," Jack said, taking puffs of the tobacco-filled object.

"How did she-"

"Silence," Jack said, leaning back in his chair as he blew clouds of smoke into the air. "She brought a lot of things to my attention, including your lax attitude towards your subordinates. I realized you're just not the blood thirsty killer you'd led me to believe you were." He suddenly threw his chair back onto four legs, the noise startling both the boys opposite of him. "Care to explain?" he asked pseudo-sweetly.

Karkat swallowed past a lump in his throat, squeezing John's hand as subtly as he could. "I assure you I didn't think-"

"Of course you didn't," Jack interrupted, standing. "You didn't think because we wouldn't be in this situation if you had. You are of a superior race, Karkat, and I'm ashamed to have called you my underling."

"Sir, I-"

"Do you know," Jack cut in loudly. "Who rules Alternia?"

"...The Empress, but-"

"No no no, boy. The Empress is a mere puppet in what is the bigger scheme of things. Are you familiar with a planet called Skaia?" Jack inquired.

Karkat shook his head, knowing if he spoke he'd only be interrupted again.

"Of course not," Jack chuckled, sitting on the edge of his desk in front of the two boys, he placed his feet on the edges of either of their chairs, resting his elbows on his knees and his chin on his laced fingers. "Then you wouldn't know that Skaia is ruled by two queens. One black and one white. The queens are constantly at war, fighting over how they will rule their kingdoms. With freewill and kindness, or a tight-gripped fist and cruelty."

Karkat listened carefully, tempted to look at John who's eyes he could feel on him. But Jack was silently demanding his attention and he'd be damned before he broke that contact.

"The queens made a deal. They'd each rule over a trial planet, so to speak, and whoever's planet survived the longest would get to rule Skaia. It saved a lot of bloodshed and horrific wars at first, but soon it began to become tedious and long, and the wars began again."

"You mean...those planets are Earth and Alternia? And that's why a lot of stuff is really similar?" John asked meekly, sinking back as Jack's attention was suddenly on him.

"Exactly," the man drawled, taking another drag from his cigar. "Both the white and black queens are known in your world, John. Spiritually, at least. Neither are known by Karkat's people. The white queen knows the black queen is slowly beating her. Soon the Empress will find Earth and destroy it on one of their space voyages, and Skaia will be immersed in darkness under the black queen's rule."

"What does this have to fucking do with anything?" Karkat growled.

"Well," Jack chuckled, resting his cigar in a plain crystal ash tray. "The white queen created someone that is meant to spark a revolution; A hero. The black queen sent me here to raise a prodigy that would find and kill that hero."

Karkat paled, his mouth going dry and blood running cold. "You mean-"

Jack smirked, leaning back with his palms on his desk. He raised his leg and pressed his boot against John's chest. "You're going to kill our friend John here."

John's eyes widened and he whimpered audibly, beginning to tremble at the mere mention of his life being in danger.

Karkat glared. "Why didn't you just kill him before, then!" he yelled, rising.

Jack pulled his foot from John, standing and pushing Karkat back into his chair. "I had to be sure, first. I kill the wrong kid and the black queen kills me in return, and we don't want that do we?"

Karkat glared, clenching his fists. "So all that special attention you gave me wasn't because we were the the same? It was just because you wanted me to do your dirty work?" he asked snidely.

Jack raised an eyebrow, laughing lowly. "So you're finally learning."

Karkat squeezed John's hand tightly, narrowing his eyes. "I won't let you lay a finger on him," he hissed.

"Oh I wasn't asking your permission," Jack said with a hum, putting his hands in the pockets of his coat. "You see, I can do whatever the hell I want and there's really nothing you can say or do to stop me. Isn't that wonderful? All of your little friends are kept under tight lock and key, you're weaponless and...well...your stature is really nothing to brag about."

"Karkat..." John whispered, looking at his matesprit with a fear-ridden expression.

Karkat didn't look at him, but squeezed the boy's hand reassuringly. "You know, Jack?"

Jack pick up his cigar, tilting his chin up to inhale as deeply as he could. "Hm?" he asked.

Karkat brought back his leg and thrust out it out quickly and forcefully, catching Jack in the chest and forcing him over the desk.

He pulled John out of his chair, startling the scrawnier boy and dragging him out of the room as quickly as his legs would allow him.


	25. Finale

**I highly recommend you listen to this for the latter half of this chapter, where the chapter breaks into the next scene: youtuberepeat(DOT)com/watch/?v=d91WDAVNEiI&feature=BFa&list=FLCGc1gLDM6pPZyFpwR7dDOA&lf=mh_lolz**

**This is the last chapter. The chapter you've all been dying for. I hope it's not disappointing.  
><strong>

* * *

><p>John panted as he and Karkat rounded a corner and finally stopped. No matter how wonderful the Alternian air was for his frail body, he was not meant to be running around like the other children in his neighborhood used to do during the younger years of his childhood. He huffed lightly, watching Karkat who needn't even a single second to catch his breath. For a brief, hysteric, moment he wondered, if he and Karkat lived to the day, how would he fair during a more intimate act? Even kissing was literally breathtaking.<p>

"K-Kar..." He wheezed, squeezing his boyfriend's shoulder tightly. "Can't breathe-" But Karkat's hand was suddenly over his mouth as he crouched them behind a large machine, the heavy sound of various footsteps appearing and then fading away.

Karkat embraced John, kissing the boy all over; his forehead, lips, cheeks, temples, neck, collarbone and clothed chest. It frightened John to death. _'Please don't say it'_ he begged internally. "John-" _'No no no-'_ "What's that pitiful human emotion?" '_No, no, NO.' _"-John I love you."

John smiled weakly. What was Karkat planning, that he was acting like that? "We're going to be fine," John promised in the strongest tone he could possibly muster, holding his love's hand tightly.  
>"John please tell me you love me," Karkat begged, grasping John's hands tighter. John wanted to say it, he truthfully did but that was almost like an affirmation of their impending doom. He opened his mouth, conflicted until-<p>

"John! Karkat!"

John turned to the source of the voice. It was the gemini-themed troll, what was his name? Sollux. Yes it was Sollux. "Sollux!" Karkat exclaimed, pulling John to the other male hurriedly. "Did you complete the thing?" Sollux gave an assuring nod. "Good. John, come."

There was something about the way Karkat was showing such impeccable leadership and control (without being angry about it) that made John teem with excitement and, ashamedly, a bit of arousal- Oh god now was not the time to be suddenly going through puberty-

But of course now wasn't the time to be worrying about stupid things, either. Karkat pulled him after Sollux, whom stole glances back at them every so often, sizing them up but at the same time not. The wheels of the other's mind were reeling, that much John could tell, like he was taking imaginary measurements, making imaginary equations.

Finally the troll seemed satisfied with his mental results and turned a sharp corner, staggering back and surprising both John and Karkat. "Shit," he breathed.

"What-" Karkat began to move forward, but was stopped by Sollux who snatched him up and whispered something in his ear.

Karkat's mouth tightened a bit and he grabbed John, holding the other tightly against him as they brushed past the corridor. "We can go this way instead," he heard Sollux murmur lowly.

John quirked and eyebrow, confused. "Wait! Karkat what is it," he cried, panicked. Karkat was about to shoosh him comfortingly, but John ducked under his arm and peered into the corridor.

His eyes widened and his hand reflexively covered his mouth as he took in the sight before him. More shocked- than the bodies of Feferi and Eridan- by the orange-brown blood of his moirail. It was as if that night was replaying itself again only in a different setting. He felt that horrible nauseous burning in his stomach again, and his eyes watered at the thought of what might have happened.

"John come on, I'm sure he's fine!" Karkat snapped, grabbing John's arm and pulling him away from the corridor. John curled into Karkat's side, silently clinging to his matesprit out of fear.

Sollux's pace picked up, and so did Karkat's, causing John to stumble alongside him. "Wh-Where are we going?" he cried, shaken, an awful ringing present in his ears.

"Shoosh, it's okay John," Karkat grumbled down at him, wrapping his arm tightly around the other's shoulders.

"Shit-" Sollux interrupted, dragging them into a room, the sound of Jack and his minions storming around catching his attention. He closed the door, trying not to be loud but it was mostly a poor attempt in his haste.

"Dammit Sollux," Karkat hissed at his friend, pushing John to the corner of the room where a round platform with some sort of alchemy symbol in the middle of it.

Sollux took his place at the controls, a large computer with a huge and complicated-looking keyboard, adorned with levers and toggles of all kinds. Sollux tapped violently away at the board while Karkat stood on the platform with John, holding him tightly.

"Karkat what's-"

"Shoosh," Karkat whispered, falling deadly silent when Jack's voice approached their room. Sollux stopped, looking to the door with wide, glassesless eyes. John swallowed, trembling violently as his thin pianist fingers gripped at Karkat's shirt for protection.

There was a bang at the door.

John let out an involuntary cry, burying his face in Karkat's shirt. Sollux abandoned the keyboard, grabbing a large metal chair and propping it up against the door just seconds too late. The door was shoved by something large, forcing the back support of chair into Sollux's stomach. He crumpled to his knees, using his body as a blockade instead.

John stared in horror, mustard yellow blood spilling from Sollux's mouth to his chest in a violent onslaught of coughing until he finally slumped forward, lifeless.

"K-Karkat!" John sobbed, shaking like a leaf in a windstorm. He could feel the heavy beating of Karkat's heart, calm and rhythmic. He had a very thoughtful of expression before grabbing John's small shoulders and stared him straight in the eye, memorizing him.

"John I love you so much, okay? I'm probably the shittiest matesprit ever, but I don't care, because you're probably the greatest, most fucked up thing that ever fucking happened to me-"

"Karkat please-"

Karkat placed his finger against John's lips, then leaned in and kissed him passionately, securing the boy's jaw in his hand so he didn't shy away. After a few moments he pulled away. "John please say you love me," he said quietly, controlled.

"I love you Karkat!" John sobbed, squeezing his matesprit as if he'd fly off the face of Alternia. "I-I'm so happy I m-met you."

Karkat chanced an awkward smile, picked John up and set him ass-flat on the platform, applying just a bit of pressure, silently begging John to stay where he was.

"Karkat, no!" John called, eyes wide as Karkat turned on his heel and leaped at the control panel, hitting a large button following the pulling of a red lever.

John looked from Karkat to the door, where Jack's minions had easily busted it open, pushing Sollux's lifeless body between the door and the wall. He looked back to Karkat, caught his eyes and tried to get at him, but his body couldn't move.

And then it was all gone.

John sat up on his bed, familiar and soft underneath him. His room was dark and lifeless save for his own person. A scream left his throat involuntarily, and then his dad was in the room with terrified eyes.

"Oh, John-" He strode over to him, sitting on the edge of his son's bed. "When did you get back from Dave's?"

John stared at him, panting hard. He looked around, his voice catching in his throat as he tried to speak until he finally broke down sobbing, holding onto his father's workshirt. "A-Aliens!" he finally managed. "Trolls- K-K-Karkat- Tav-ro-os- Dead!" he hiccuped, his chest heaving violently with every forced syllable.

"John, John calm down son-" Mr. Egbert drew his son into his arms, rocking him like he had when the boy was a child. "You had a nightmare. It's alright, I'm here and you're alright."

"N-No! K-K-Karkat!" John nearly screamed, burying his face in his father's chest, comforted at least a little by his familiar and warm arms.

"Shh, John. Shoosh, you're okay. You're okay," his father whispered soothingly, stroking his fingers through his sons tangled hair.

A few moments went by, the only sound in the room John's sobbing and Mr. Egbert's soothing. Finally John managed his sobbing down to small hiccups and shaky, harsh breathing. He felt awful. The Alternian air had done wonders to him, but now his body felt drained and sickly like it had been when he was a child. He looked up at his father with exhausted eyes, his lips trembling as he formed the words.

"D-D-Dad?" he stuttered.

"Yes son?" Mr. Egbert whispered back.

"I-I'm g-g-gay."

"Is that what this is about?" Mr. Egbert asked carefully. "Son, you know I love you no matter what. You're the greatest thing that ever happened to me-"

Oh. Okay that made the pain of losing Karkat even fresher than it had been at the instant that he knew they would probably never see each other again. His face contorted and he started to sob again, cradled tighter and shooshed more vigorously by his father.

"S-Sorry I w-was gone so l-long," John apologized, holding his father's hand for comfort.

"I know you're used to being home all the time, but three days isn't too long," Mr. Egbert chuckled lightly.

"Three...days- No dad I was gone for weeks!" John said, confused.

Mr. Egebrt quirked and eyebrow then smiled gently. "You're confused because of the dream you had. Dirk must have dropped you off pretty late. He's so strange," he sighed, laying his son down on the bed. "Now try to get some sleep, and no more caffeine before bed. That's what gives you those nightmares," he scolded.

John squinted as his father kissed his forehead, then watched him leave before he darted up and went to his computer.

**-ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] -**

**EB: **dave!

**EB: **dave please be awake!

**TG: **hey john hows your gay alien sex going

**EB: **i am home now.

**EB: **how long was i gone, it's imperative for me to know!

**TG: **like three days dude that was pretty fast

**TG: **did they anally probe you

**TG: **im here for you dude we can find an anal probe support group together

**EB: **dave i need to be serious with you okay.

**TG: **oh god did they remove your ass altogether

**TG: **those assholes

**TG: **oops

**TG: **sorry its probably a sore subject for you

**EB: **…

**EB: **dave you need to know that i am gay.

**TG: **happy gay or i like dudes gay

**EB: **…...

**TG: **im kidding dude but it took you being abducted by aliens to come to this conclusion

**EB: **well...the trolls didn't really decide who they liked like that by gender so...stuff happened and stuff.

**TG: **hm

**TG: **hhmmmmm

**TG: **see all those ms thats how thoughtful i am right now hand on the fucking m key in rapid repetition thoughtful

**EB: **do you hate me now?

**TG: **no stupid

**TG: **…

**EB: **what?

**TG: **so you _were _anally probed

**EB: **…

**TG: **except by some sweet sweet alien penis

**TG: **rather than an actual probe

**EB: **…...

**- ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] -**

**TG: **john

**TG: **i was kidding god

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><p>John paced around his room, combing back his hair. It had grown substantially in the last three years, though he made sure to keep the little ducktail that formed when it grew out under control by trimming it. He actually looked a lot like Jade's Grandpa when he was younger, which they laughed about every now and again.<p>

The first year was probably the worst. Being without Karkat was unbearable. His sicknesses had a violent relapse that the doctors could only pin on his recent depression. They told his father he'd lost the will to live, and that was slightly true.

Dave came to visit him often in the hospital, always trying to make him laugh or eat something. He'd lost so much weight his face was beginning to turn sallow and his cheeks appeared sunken in. He would find subtle ways to discard his food without anyone noticing because the thought of eating was just...nauseating.

At first it worked, and everyone was glad to see him eating again, only Dave had to go and ruin what was a perfect system.

"Hey Egderp-" he had said during one of his daily hospital visits. "I'm really happy you're getting better and shit..." he had turned his head away to hide a totally uncool smile, reached out to pat his friend on the belly where he had expected it to be nice and full.

John had tried to shy away from the touch, but Dave was too quick and with a peculiar swiftness, lifted John's blanket and shirt, frowning at the predominant ribs and sunken in stomach.

But that was a long time ago, and now he was recovered and happy and better than ever! Only some days he got the feeling of withering away again and all he wanted to do was crawl under a rock and silently die away.

But those days were becoming less and less frequent. Maybe it had something to do with his synchronization with the troll universe, like how he'd gotten the feeling of dread when Tavros was injured that horrible night.

The empty feeling of not having Karkat with him was slowly dying away, however, and soon it would only be a sad memory.

John flinched as the wind pushed open his window. He let out a small shudder and walked to it, closing it and engaging the lock. "Jeez..." he whispered, looking out into the yard. His eyes became distant, staring at his old slime rocker and tire swing. He missed the days of his childhood. Playing in the yard all day with his father. That was before he got sick and his father had to work hours upon hours to pay the hospital bills.

He sighed, pressing his forehead against the cold window pane to stare into the dark night. "Karkat..." he whispered. "I miss you so much." He wondered if Karkat could hear his lamenting, or feel his depression. He wondered if Karkat still thought about him, or...if he'd gotten a new matesprit. He wondered if...Karkat was- No. No no that though was too terrible. But he saw Jack, and he saw the rage. It was awful, awful anger and- His shoulders tensed, and he shook his head. No no no. He thought about Karkat again.

He could feel those warm hands caressing his neck, playing with his hair. Moving down the nape and to his shoulders and down his arms, resting at his hips. He could still hear Karkat's low voice, tender and soft, loving, whisper his name against his ear. "John." Husky and quiet and breathy. Warm breath. Warm warm breath against his ear.

John quirked and eyebrow. Okay it was getting a little too real now. He feared he was losing his grasp on reality, and for a moment he was okay with it. But he remembered Dave and his father and Rose and Jade and stopped himself from getting carried away with those hands grasping at his hips, stroking them very...very slowly...very lovingly. Moving over his pelvis, just above his manhood to his taught stomach (now much less emaciated, yet still much skinnier than he had ever been) and he could almost feel how Karkat's brows would furrow in concern.

He felt more breath on his neck, and then clawed fingers slipping into his hand, a free hand moving up his chest and neck, to his mouth- Something caught in his peripheral vision. John went crosseyed, eying the yellow-tinted fingernail resting delicately on the corner of his mouth.

His eyes widened. He became stiff for a brief moment, pulling himself away from the grasp that he was so sure he had been imagining. But no-

"Kar-!" A finger on his lips stopped him. He paused without protest, taking in Karkat. He was taller than John now, masculine and with a toned body. John's lips trembled. Karkat wore a hooded cloak, covering a peculiar yet...awfully sexy outfit that was form fitting and provided little protection over his arms and the top part of his chest. His hair had only grown out a bit, and seemed to have flattened substantially, or at least been cut more appropriately.

"You're so skinny," his voice was so deep and husky and...wonderful.

They stared, speaking a conversation with their eyes that, had it been spoken, would have lasted an eternity. Instead, they held one another by the arms and drank in the sight displayed before them.

They finally pulled away from each other, taking a few steps backwards, both breathing heavily. It was the only sound in the otherwise silent room.

There was a brief ruffling as Karkat removed his cloak, letting it slip to the ground without much care. His abdominal muscles tensed and contracted with every breath until he finally stepped forward, breathing in deeply and taking John into his strong arms, holding him close. They stayed tangled against one another for a long time, Karkat's head resting on the top of John's, John's ear right over Karkat's heart where he could hear the melodic beating of his lover's heart.

They inched towards the bed, neither taking any particular notice to it, until finally John's knees buckled from the mattress pressing against the back of them. Karkat caught him, and they stared, both smiling, letting out breathy chuckles until it died away only moments later.

Karkat silently knelt down, taking John's hand. He placed a kiss that was so gentle, John could have sworn it was ghostly. His lover took off his boots, black leather with silver buckles that were made for combat before slowly, oh so agonizingly slowly, raising himself back up, placing tender kisses up John's arm as he did.

John slowly sat back on the bed, his hand resting on Karkat's clothed chest. His matesprit's hands were on his sides, thumbs placed delicately under his shirt, claws tickling his skin.

Karkat unwrapped the bandages around his forearms and and hands, letting them fall victim to the floor below. His hands moved up, taking John's shirt with them so he could slip it over his lover's head, placing it with the bandages on the floor. They stared lovingly into one another's eyes, overcome with an almost unbearable sense of lust and elation.

Karkat's hands pressed gingerly against John's back, lowering him slowly onto the bed where he immediately, yet carefully, began working on the zipper of his lover's pants. John tensed as the clothing was pulled away and dropped to the ground, Karkat's eyes never leaving his lithe body.

When his matesprit's hands gravitated towards the hem of his boxers, John reached out and stopped him. All he had to do was look into Karkat's eyes for the other to understand him. He watched, curiously, for a moment, before his head hung down to hide a small and bemused smile. He twisted his body, cautiously undoing the zipper on the side of his thickly fabric'd shirt before peeling it away from his chest, letting it join the pile of discarded clothes on the ground.

He could hear John's gentle exhalation as the boy admired his body, perigees of training doing him an insurmountable bit of good. He leaned down, holding John's gaze as he leaned in and kissed him, his legs straddling the other's effeminate waist.

Karkat's hands traveled up John's waist, resting over his chest and then back down his sides. He trailed kisses over John's neck, dusted them over his neck and chest and then laved one of his love's small nipples with his tongue, leaving a pale trail of red in it's wake.

A small moan escape John's rosy lips, causing Karkat to, not without coordination, but abruptly look at him. In a voice that was barely audible, yet extremely loud to his own ears, John whispered a meek apology.

"Wonderful. Beautiful," Karkat let out with a breath, staring at John once more in admiration and love. He leaned down again, his hands moving once more to John's boxers where he promptly removed them, pulling away to gaze.

John's face flushed beet red as his embarrassment took over his hazy mind and he had to turn away, biting his lip. After a few moments, he turned back to Karkat, his hands fumbling to his matesprit's own pants. He looked up, questioningly, and received a nod in return. Deftly, his fingers moved to remove Karkat's pants, revealing the aching manhood in return.

He swallowed, realizing for the first time how real the situation was. He was so happy he felt like his heart would explode. "Karkat..." it was barely a whisper, more like a breath disguised as his lover's name.

Karkat took John's hand, kissing his fingers with care before placing them against John's lips. John appeared confused at first, until he knew what he had to do. He took his own fingers into his mouth, licking and suckling lightly as Karkat's hand on his wrist maneuvered them.

They still stared into each other's eyes, neither had been children for some time now, and yet they felt their hearts welling with youth and vigor, like adolescence and innocence had not left them as quickly as it had. Karkat removed John's fingers, moving John's small wrist down between his legs, clasping their hands together and giving a light, encouraging squeeze before moving his own hand away to caress John's delicate skin.

John prepared himself. Something he had practiced occasionally once he had come of the age where the thoughts of it would not cease. Always he had imagine Karkat, wishing he wouldn't have been so prudish when they had the chance to be together. Only now it didn't matter, because Karkat was with him, holding him. Caressing him, loving him. Karkat's fingertips lightly touched John's cheek, asking with his eyes to which John gave a subtle nod.

Karkat stroked himself lightly, squinting at the jolts of pleasure that shot through his body. He carefully placed the head of his length against John's entrance, giving him the benefit of a distracting kiss as he penetrated the sensitive area.

John mewled and arched, crying lightly into Karkat's mouth, but his lover provided more distractions, his hands moving to rub over John's pert nipples, playing with them teasingly until he found the little bundle of nerves that left John crying out more openly, against his own volition.

Karkat let out a breath of a chuckle, stroking John's jaw as lovingly as he could manage before beginning to move, thrusting gently so he didn't harm his tiny matesprit.

Together they undulated, rocking against one another with Karkat being sure to catch John's sweet spot, and John reaching up to rub at Karkat's stunted horns when he could gather enough strength to raise his arms.

Not much was said between the two, the room filled to the brim with light moans and breathy names, John's mewling intermingling with Karkat's groans. They paced themselves, reveling in the pure pleasure of just being one, being together again and able to feel one another on the intimate level they both had been craving for so long, though one more than the other.

Together they moved, Karkat placing one hand on John's hip, the other protecting John's head from the wall. John's hands rested on Karkat's shoulders, his back arching off the bed as his spine tensed up.

It wasn't long before they reached their climax, together, matesprit's names lingering on their lips and tongues in mewls and moans and groans of pleasure. Karkat curled over John, staring into his eyes admiringly, and John stared back, panting hard from the sheer pleasure. They stayed like that for a long while, until finally Karkat laid John back down, dusting light kisses over his love's cute face.

They clung to each other, limbs a tangled mess, and simply stared, covered with John's warm and fluffy comforter, until they finally fell into a peaceful slumber.


	26. Epilogue

**So a lot more people were disappointed/upset about the last chapter than I had anticipated so here is an epilogue.**

**I apologize if this isn't a sufficient ending either.  
><strong>

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><p>John was roused by Karkat's constant stirring. The boy- or maybe it was more accurate to say man?- seemed to have only napped for an hour or so. It was three AM, which must have been more like the middle of the day considering Alternian's preferred the night time. John looked up at him, still marveling at the taught muscles.<p>

Karkat looked down at him with an air of calm, something John had never sensed from him before. It was odd...he used to be so lively and rancorous, but now he had something different about him. Something like...peace? Yes, he was very peaceful. Very accepting and controlled, it seemed.

"You're a lot different," was the first thing John said.

Karkat frowned, his hand snaking under John's big night shirt to run his fingers along the other's ribs. "You haven't been eating," he countered. "You weren't even this skinny when we first brought you to Alternia."

John shivered at the touch, letting out a small mewl as his matesprit's yellow claws, caused his skin to feel inflamed with heat and passion. "There was...a time. It wasn't a good time." John moved to take Karkat's hands from under his shirt, playing with his lover's fingers.

"Tell me about it." Karkat shifted John so they were closer, sharing each other's heat.

"You don't want to hear about it I think," John murmured in embarrassment, burying his face in Karkat's neck, his lips brushing oh so gently against the other's skin.

Karkat grimaced slightly at the rejection. "I bet you I do."

John frowned in return, looking up at him. "What if you get mad at me?" he asked hesitantly, his eyes averting at the thought of Karkat becoming upset over his self neglect, but with one affirming look from his love, he easily spilled the past three years out into the open. "When I got back I was fine. My dad told me everything that happened was a dream. Dave told me to forget about it, and for a while I sort of did."

"Like a suppressed memory?" Karkat asked.

John nodded, clinging to Karkat. "Yeah. A suppressed memory. I stopped dreaming, but I always got that Deja Vu feeling...you know when you're in between asleep and being awake?" Karkat offered a confused, look, but John only smiled in return. "I was so confused. Eventually I just convinced myself none of it ever happened, that it was just my childish imagination, but then suddenly everything came back to me one day."

Karkat nodded in understanding, sliding his hand under the blankets to hike John up a bit, closer against him. He nuzzled his matesprit. "You forgot about me?"

"Not on purpose! Geez, what am I supposed to do? Dave never brought it up and my dad told me it never happened, so I didn't even know," John sighed exasperatedly, still donning a smile despite his tone.

Karkat scoffed at him, burying his face in his lover's neck. "Go on."

John turned his gaze up to the ceiling, marveling at how warm Karkat was. "When I rembered, it was like it had just happened. I was fourteen, attending a normal school, but I was always passing out and falling asleep in class. Sometimes I'd just start crying for no reason and was completely inconsolable. I couldn't even control it either! God it was so embarrassing."

John was flushing at the mere thought of his occasional mental break downs that spawned from nearly nothing. But then again, considering the vivid memories of being taken from the love of his life who he was positive was killed by Jack was awful.

"I had to stay in the psyche wing of the hospital for awhile. I just got really depressed and emotional...I guess puberty kind of didn't help my hormones or anything, but man...it's really embarrassing to think back on."

Karkat watched John carefully. "You were crying because you wanted my hot alien dick, weren't you?"

John flushed and punched his beloved in the shoulder to the best of his abilities in the strange position. "Geez Karkat I'm really serious here!"

"Me too," Karkat chuckled. "I'm not sure what a psyche wing is, but I'm sorry you had to be in it," he added, more seriously.

John nodded. "What really made me crazy was not knowing what happened to you. I could hardly move, not even to lift my hands to eat! And a lot of people were really worried. Like my nana and my dad and Dave and even his bro not to mention Rose and Jade," he sighed and closed his eyes. "But you're back now, and even if I've just gone crazy and you're not really here, I'm happy."

Karkat smiled and kissed the top of John's head.

"So...I mean-" John looked back up at Karkat. "How did you escape Jack anyway? I-I mean...with...Tavros and everyone- what happened?"

Karkat's smile sunk down into a small frown. "Oh yes. That would probably be good to tell you." He looked up in thought, letting out a small and thoughtful noise. "When I transportalized you, Jack broke into the room. I fought off the carapaces as much as I could, but when I had defeated them all, I wouldn't have been any good against Jack. Sollux and Gamzee blind-sided him though-"

"I thought Sollux died!" John gasped, clinging to Karkat tightly.

Karkat shook his head. "Gamzee found us and revived him, Sollux told Gamzee to go find the others afterwards. Me and Sollux turned our back on Jack's body- It wasn't even two seconds..."

"He was gone?" John asked, eyes wide. "But...how? _Where_?"

Karkat shrugged. "We didn't even know at the time. He was just gone."

John nodded slightly. "How scary..."

"Fuck yeah!" Karkat growled a little too aggressively, causing John to tense, before the claws of his matesprit kneading comfortingly into his back brought him back to relaxation. "We found the others tending to eachother's wounds in one of the abandon areas of the labs. Tav had this huge gaping hole in his chest, Vriska's arm was ripped off and she was stabbed by Terezi in the back...we were a little apprehensive to try and revive her considering she's a huge conniving bitch, but we did it anyway. It ended up being the right choice-"

He looked down at John who was listening with all the wonder of a child being told a bedtime story. He nodded for Karkat to go on, clinging to him with balled up fists.

"Anyway, we were all pretty fucked up, but we ended up rallying in Nepeta's cavernous hive. Jack didn't even know it existed so it worked out well. And basically..." Karkat sighed. "You don't need to know the rest. It was war, John, it was awful."

"You can tell me about it," John confided quietly.

Karkat shook his head. "I killed so many trolls, so many carapaces. I saw comrades die and lovers taken from one another-" He turned onto his back, pulling John on top of him. "It made me so angry at first- because it was so pointless. But then I remembered you. And I remembered when Jack wanted to kill you and it scared the living shit out of me. Gog John I just...fuck it was terrifying."

John listened intently, nodding where he thought was appropriate, and giving Karkat small words of encouragement when he could manage his voice properly. "Is everyone okay?" he asked hoarsely.

"By some fucking miracle, all the trolls you came to know are fine. Other than a few scars and injuries, they're fine."

John nodded slowly. "Is Alternia okay?"

"Ravaged with war, but okay nonetheless," Karkat explained. "The Empress' fleet was so far gone in the galaxy, by the time they'd turned around to defend the planet, the war was already half over. They returned to a bruised world, but were mostly bitterly impressed with us 'wrigglers' protecting our planet."

John gave another succinct nod. "I understand." He smiled lightly, wrapping his arms around Karkat's neck. "I missed you so much."

Karkat kissed him lightly, content.

"Karkat I had a thought," John said, looking up at him. "So an Alternian week is one earth day, pretty much. Which means that you're actually nine years older than when we left each other."

Karkat watched him with a vague expression. "Go on."

"So you're technically like 22 years old or something, which makes you a big dirty pedophile," John giggled, lacing their fingers.

Karkat quirked an eyebrow. "What on Alternia is a fucking pedovial?"

"No, no! A pedo_phile _it's a person who is really bad and likes little boys and is weird," John teased, jamming his finger in Karkat's side to shock him.

Karkat flinched, exhaling a loud 'pft' as his side was tickled by the motion before grabbing John up in his arms so the boy couldn't wiggle around anymore. "That's stupid! Humans are stupid! Trolls are way better because they don't have stupid things like that!" he snapped.

John smiled brightly. "Seeeee!" he called a bit too loudly. "That's the Karkat I knew three years ago! Sheesh I thought you were broken or something!"

"You fucking wish Egbert," Karkat grumbled, pulling John closer, more possessive.

They sat in a small, comfortable silence before John spoke again. "So how did you get here anyway?"

"Ship," Karkat murmured, eyes closed and exhaustion laced under his voice.

"Like a spaceship?" John gasped. "Wow!"

"Yeah. Sollux's gonna come here soon and install a transportalizer in your room so you can come to Alternia any time you want and so I can visit you without having to travel," Karkat said with a tiny yawn.

"Cool!" John gasped, wide eyed.

The boy's eyes softened a bit and he leaned in, curling up against Karkat's chest. There was another silence, this one slightly longer than the last. John was the first to speak again. "Karkat?"

"Hm?"

"I love you," John said.

"I love you too John," Karkat murmured, smiling just so.


	27. Birds of a Feather Flock Together

Hello everyone!

I just wanted to let you know that the lovely and talented Samurai5725 is doing sort of a sequel of Birds of a Feather! I've left the link to it on my profile and it's really great so I highly recommend you read and review!

Keep in mind her sequel does not include the second half of the last chapter or the epilogue and is sort of an 'Alternate Ending' as it were.

Thank you again for all of your support you perfect lambies! 33


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